Mediawatch: Well, if the glove fits, Keano…

Matt Stead

Brown nosing
Mediawatch cannot decide which of the following headlines on Sam Allardyce it prefers:

‘Phil Brown: Sam Allardyce exit like a bereavement’ – ITV Sport.

‘Steve McClaren sympathies [sic] with ‘innocent’ Sam Allardyce’ – BBC Sport.

Actually, we can. That Brown quote is incredible.

 

Blame game
Writes Matt Lawton in the Daily Mail:

‘The seven-figure pay-off might ease the embarrassment and regret but Sam Allardyce cut a sad, broken figure as he faced the cameras outside his Lancashire home yesterday.

‘There was a brief hint of the old bravado, with Allardyce claiming ‘entrapment has won on this occasion’ in reference to the Daily Telegraph’s sting.

‘But he was not really looking to apportion the blame.’

What was he trying to do, then? “Entrapment has won on this occasion” is an awfully strange thing to say for a man ‘not looking to apportion the blame’.

 

Best of friends

Mediawatch cannot think of anything that has happened since Monday morning that could change that…

 

On the same page

‘Sam Allardyce won on debut, earned £500k and left without a pay-off… all in just 67 days in charge’ – The Sun, September 28.

‘That’s why Allardyce’s exit had to be hastened with a pay-off’ – The Sun‘s chief football reporter, Neil Ashton, September 29.

 

 

Too Keane

Arsenal played a game of football on Wednesday. They were rather good. They beat Basel 2-0. They now top their Champions League group, and are third in the Premier League. They’re doing well.

But Roy Keane has some bad news for the Gunners. Not everything is as rosy as it might seem at the Emirates Stadium.

“Tonight was a lovely game for Arsenal,” he told ITV Sport. “When they’re in that form and have that amount of possession, they’re great to watch – they could have had seven, eight, nine goals easily.”

The comes the kicker. “The crunch games are still to come for them, when the cold nights come in, with half the Arsenal players with their gloves on, so I wouldn’t be getting carried away with Walcott.

Bloody softies, wearing gloves in the winter. They’ll be turning the heating on at home next. Front up and take on the cold like a man, right, Keano?

Roy Keane Football365

Ah.

 

Fronting up
Poor Theo Walcott. He is in the midst of what promises to be one of his best seasons as a professional, but some people still seem desperate to keep him down.

‘Arsene Wenger for England manager, please,’ writes Mike Walters in the Daily Mirror. ‘And on this electrifying form, bring back Theo Walcott up front for the Three Lions.’

Has no-one informed Walters that Walcott has changed position? He is a right-winger now; he hasn’t played ‘up front’ since midway through last season.

 

Last port of call
On Wednesday, it was revealed that Jamie Vardy partakes in a questionable pre-match routine.

Writing in his upcoming autobiography, the Leicester striker discussed how he would drink a glass (or, more pertinently, a Lucozade bottle) of port before every Premier League game.

Most would agree that it is not an ideal way for an elite sportsman to prepare for a game. Thankfully, the Daily Mail have kindly compiled the views of ‘experts’ – because they are the only people capable of telling us that drinking a lot of alcohol the evening before a match is probably ill-advised.

First up is Chris Sutton. He tells us that his actions are ‘irresponsible and unprofessional’. Cheers for that.

Next is Martin Keown. He adds that it ‘is not an example young athletes should follow’. Insight only an ‘expert’ could offer.

But former professional footballers can only tell us so much with regards to the effect that alcohol can have on an athlete’s body. We need a nutritionist to really shed light on the matter.

Step up Asker Jeukendrup, sports nutritionist, and an Ironman triathlete to boot.

‘It is not something I would recommend to athletes to do often…’

Nutritionist in ‘would not advise athletes to drink loads of alcohol’ shocker.

Thank f**k we had the ‘experts’ to inform us.

 

Ask a couple of simple questions
‘What do the Leicester dieticians and sports scientists say?’ asks Sutton, still trying to come to terms with the Vardy revelations. ‘How does he pass their tests?’

A few inches to the left of Sutton’s views is an article by Laurie Whitwell. In it, he writes:

‘Leicester’s medical team were aware of Vardy’s tastes and have no issue given the measures involved. While unlikely to prescribe it to academy scholars, the club understand the England international has a unique approach to the game given his path from non-League football and are happy to let him continue.’

Ask, and ye shall receive.

 

Predictable
Fans of Mediawatch will know that we love a ‘probable’ or ‘likely’ starting line-up in a preview to a match. Why? Because, no matter how many newspapers do one, they almost invariably cannot agree. So indulge us for a moment as we amuse ourselves by looking at the numerous ways Manchester United will line up against Zorya Luhansk on Thursday.

–  The Daily Mail predict a starting line-up of: De Gea; Valencia, Smalling, Bailly, Rojo; Pogba, Herrera; Lingard, Mata, Rashford, Ibrahimovic.

– The Daily Mirror predict, under a headline of ‘probable teams’, the same starting line-up, but with Daley Blind at left-back instead of Marcos Rojo, and Ashley Young starting ahead of Marcus Rashford.

– The Daily Express predict, under the same headline of ‘probable teams’, that Matteo Darmian, Daley Blind and Michael Carrick will play instead of Antonio Valencia, Chris Smalling and Paul Pogba.

– The Daily Star predict the same starting line-up as the Express, but with Wayne Rooney starting ahead of Jesse Lingard.

– The Times predict that Timothy Fosu-Mensah will play instead of Valencia, and Anthony Martial, not Rashford, will start.

 

Questionable headline of the day
‘Hammers probe pair’ – The Sun. Messy.

 

Worst headline of the day
‘PUEL IS GAMBLING ON HAPOEL ENDING’ – The Sun.

 

Recommended reading of the day
Owen Gibson on Sam Allardyce.

Mattias Karen on Arsenal’s spending.

Glenn Billingham on Ajax’s 1994 Champions League win.