The MailOnline don’t worry about there being no football news. Not when there’s Instagram to surf. Plus, why Roy Hodgson is making Jack Grealish wait, and Mark Chamberlain wants a DNA test…
The Inside Track
Football news is thin on the ground on Tuesday. West Brom vs Everton isn’t exactly a big hitter, while a C-List World Cup takes up much of the space on the back pages. The wonderful by-product of this is that MailOnline are forced to scratch around for their ‘news’.
The following stories are taken solely from their football homepage at 11.25am:
‘Steven Gerrard dines out in LA with old friends after scoring winner for Galaxy.’
Man eats food and has friends.
‘Come dine with the Carrolls’: West Ham striker Andy Carroll and fiancee Billi Mucklow host dinner with his team-mates.’
Another man eats food and has friends.
‘Memphis Depay rewarded himself with a shopping trip to Selfridges in Manchester following his first Premier League goal against Sunderland.’
Man goes shopping.
‘Arsenal beat Leicester, Wales stun England and now chilling in the sun… Aaron Ramsey rounds off great weekend with his wife.’
Man walks dog and spends time with wife.
‘Memphis Depay celebrates Manchester United going top of the Premier League by donning some gold teeth on a night out.’
Man wears fake gold teet… Oh you get the bloody picture.
Mediawatch is tingling with anticipation at SkySports.com’s latest power rankings being released on Wednesday, but we fear for Boaz Myhill.
After conceding three goals from four shots on target against Everton, we suspect he might not be the Premier League’s most in-form player anymore.
‘The Special One returns to the club where his journey to becoming the most high profile coach in the world began with that famous touchline sprint at Old Trafford in 2004’ – Andrew Dillon, The Sun.
Mediawatch understands that foreigners only really get noticed when they affect English clubs, but this is taking things a little too far.
By March 2004, Mourinho had managed Benfica, União de Leiria, won the league and cup double with Porto and lifted the UEFA Cup in 2003. They had a seven-point lead in the Portuguese league and had held Real Madrid in the Bernabeu.
But sure, that’s where the journey began.
Wait For Me
‘Grealish chooses England over Ireland at last… but Roy will make him wait for his call-up’ – Daily Mirror.
Second paragraph of the article by John Cross: ‘The Football Association expects Grealish’s clearance from world governing body FIFA to take around a month and will therefore not be eligible to be picked for the Euro 2016 qualifiers with Estonia and Lithuania on October 9 and 12 respectively.’
So less ‘Roy will make him wait’ and more ‘FIFA will make him wait’.
‘Is Lukaku delivering on his potential? #SSNHQ’ – 9.45am, September 29, @SkySportsNewsHQ.
‘Are Everton favourites for the Merseyside derby? #SSNHQ’ – 9.50am, September 29, @SkySportsNewsHQ.
‘Are Arsenal finding their best form? #SSNHQ’ – 9.58am, September 29, @SkySportsNewsHQ.
‘Should Grealish be in the England squad? #SSNHQ’ – 10.09am, September 29, @SkySportsNewsHQ.
‘Can Bournemouth survive without Callum Wilson? #SSNHQ’ – 12.04pm, September 29, @SkySportsNewsHQ.
If nobody reads or cares about the answers, do the questions still exist?
Slight Difference Of Opinion
A selection of Gareth Barry’s match ratings against West Brom on Monday night:
The Sun: 7/10
Sky Sports: 6/10
Daily Mail: 5/10
Daily Mirror: 4/10
Shall we call it 5.5?
Misleading Paragraph Of The Day
From the BBC’s Gossip column: ‘Arsenal forward Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, 22, has been told by his dad and manager Arsene Wenger to be more arrogant. (The Sun)’
Mark Chamberlain is demanding a DNA test.
Romantic Tale Of The Day
‘His proposal was less romantic, however. Too excited to wait to arrive at the restaurant, the show reveals how he popped the question in a petrol station forecourt before heading back to Mrs Rooney’s parents’ house, where her mother cooked them corned-beef hash’ – The Daily Mail on Rooney’s proposal to wife Coleen. Mmmm, corned-beef hash.
Headline Of The Day
‘Union Jack’ – Daily Mirror
Runner-Up: ‘Luk Who’s Score King’ – The Sun. Nice.
Worst Headline Of The Day
‘Wayne: I’m Planning To Roo-l World’ – Daily Star. Just stop it.
Football Story Of The Day
‘Liverpool goalkeeper Lawrence Vigouroux has been sent back from a loan spell at Swindon Town after turning up late for training and then paying his £50 fine in pennies.
‘The 21-year-old signed for Liverpool from Tottenham last year and had been doing well for League One Swindon after being sent out by Brendan Rodgers to gain experience on a season’s loan.
‘However, after turning up late for training last week, Vigouroux was told he would be fined £150.
‘Senior players had the fine reduced to £50 in a bid to help the young Chilean, but Sportsmail understands he then turned up to pay with bank bags full of pennies.
‘Vigouroux eventually paid the original fine of £150 — this time in notes’ – MailOnline.