You know everyone will run the ‘Cristiano Ronaldo to Manchester United’ story, so you need to try and garner the clicks with a new angle. That’s right, Ronaldo’s ‘the new David Beckham’. Because he will sell a lot of shirts. Top work, Daily Express.
Very naughty from the Beeb, who pull the wool over many eyes by hinting that Keylor Navas wanted a Manchester United move.
Actual quotes from Navas: “I cried when I found out I was staying, it was a build-up of emotions. I didn’t want to leave, Madrid is my home.”
The striker is Michy Batshuayi, and the ‘perfect international record’ referred to by the Metro is one goal in his one cap, the fifth in a 5-0 win against Cyprus. Presumably Arsenal will also be signing David Nugent.
Not news, MailOnline. Just not news.
List of places you are less likely to find Diego Costa than at Peppa Pig World on a day out with his daughter:
1) In the Brazilian national team
2) In Jimmy Tarbuck’s house
3) In the mouth of a pig
The Daily Express offer their SEO how-to guide. Step one: Include the words ‘Chelsea’, ‘Juventus’ and ‘Paul Pogba’ at all costs; don’t bother with ‘Juan Cuadrado’.