Southampton v Tottenham
Saturday’s early game is a tough one to call so the advice is don’t splurge your full bank betting on this and risk crying salt tears as it goes down and you can’t have a sweat on the 3pm kick offs. If you do want to pile in, Christian Eriksen has scored three goals in three games against the Saints.
Betting: Eriksen to score anytime at 4/1 (Ladbrokes)
Burnley v Leicester City
What a game down at the bottom and Burnley, having scored just one goal in seven (incredibly that came against Manchester City), know it’s now sh*t or bust. They’ve not beaten the Foxes in eight attempts though and I think the away win here at 2/1 will prove a sound investment.
Betting: Leicester to win at 2/1 (Boylesports)
Crystal Palace v Hull
Palace have kept just one clean sheet in 13 matches since Alan Pard-iola took charge. Hull may be mince (and going down in my humble opinion) but I fancy a few goals here.
Betting: Both teams to score at 11/10 (Sky Bet)
Newcastle v Swansea
Let’s have it right. Newcastle’s ‘stay away’ protest against Spurs was embarrassing as the game still attracted over 45,000 bar codes. It’s the worst ‘protest’ I have seen since my dad farted (and quite possibly followed through) during that infamous Christmas dinner of 2001, leaving my mam and then girlfriend in tears. The old rascal then tried to exonerate himself by blaming the dog. Who was upstairs. Truly pathetic.
Betting: Draw at 12/5 (Betfred)
QPR v West Ham
The hosts are basically doomed if they don’t pick up three points here but have half a shout as West Ham have not won any of their last nine away matches. The Hammers are trying to attract crowds of 50,000+ to their new Olympic Stadium home next term. With Big Sam in charge playing his own unique prehistoric brand of football, good luck with that one fellas. Home win. Just.
Betting: QPR to win 2-1 at 9/1 (Bet Victor)
Stoke City v Sunderland
The home win here is an absolute penalty kick! Sunderland are garbage. In fact if Mark Hughes’ men don’t win this I will happily walk into my local police station on Saturday night, with my bobby dangler out, and casually proclaim “Sergeant this is for your wife, she asked me to give it to her earlier.”
Betting: Stoke to win at 19/20 (Sky Bet)
West Brom v Liverpool
My recent faith in the red men has left me absolutely potless. They have been letting me down on a weekly basis and last Sunday’s FA Cup clash with Villa was the straw that broke the Liver Bird’s back. The season is over for Liverpool I’m afraid. Stevie Gerrard, their talismanic midfield general, won’t have a Wembley farewell. Instead he will ride off into the sunset after an away fixture…. At Stoke (shakes head).
Betting: Both teams to score – No at 11/10 (Paddy Power)
Man City v Aston Villa
After their FA Cup heroics it could be a case of ‘After the Lord Mayor’s Show’ for Villa. And it doesn’t help that Citeh have won more PL games and scores more PL goals (a whopping 65) against Villa than any other side. Expect the hosts to go a long way towards nailing down a Champions League berth with victory here.
Betting: Manchester City to win 3-0 at 8/1 (Paddy Power)
Everton v Manchester United
Always a tasty fixture this and Everton have got their sh*t together it seems in recent weeks. The Red Devils are in a funny position (not Frankie Boyle funny, more Lenny Henry) in as much as the league is beyond them yet Champions League football is all but now assured. Can Wazza return to torment his old employers yet again? I reckon he’s worth a punt at 11/2 to get the blue half of Merseyside all shouty and sweary once again.
Betting: Rooney to score first at 11/2 (Paddy Power)
Arsenal v Chelsea
If Diego Costa is not fit enough to start look for Chelsea to again spoil and snarl their way to a result here. I won money on them beating Manchester United last Saturday but that was a queer auld game with the Blues surrendering roughly 70% of possession. At home. They look pretty toothless with Didier Drogba up top but defensively, just wow. Fascinating clash of styles here but I fancy Mourinho’s dark arts to prevail over Wenger’s derring-do.
Betting: Chelsea to win 1-0 at 9/1 (bet365)