Mohamed Salah has earned his spot on a list Didier Drogba would only describe as a f***ing disgrace.
The ten worst players in the Premier League's top six this season? This should be fun.
No Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Man City, Man United and Tottenham. So here we bloody go...
Arsenal's two north London derby heroes almost weren't there. They aren't the only former outcasts...
We pick ten former Premier League players who could realistically return and tip potential clubs for them.
Those of you searching for Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool players should probably look elsewhere.
You might notice that Arsenal and Liverpool do not feature. Things have gone precisely as expected for them...
Why did Everton sack Koeman? The tactics, the 'arrogance', the red Christmas tree, his licence plate...
What happened to the Alli who was better than Pogba? He is here, as are Everton, Jurgen and Mesut...
Do they both make the top ten? Does only one of them? Maybe neither do. Oh, the drama and intrigue.
This list includes a player signed this summer who wasn't named in his club's 25-man squad. Weird.
Roberto Di Matteo tops the list but who else was parachuted in to achieve great things?
This is going to be a ridiculous last three days of the window. Will these ten happen? Fingers are crossed.
The clock is ticking and there are some players who desperately need out. Top of the shop is Diego Costa...
Two for Liverpool, two for Man City, one for Arsenal, Everton, United and Spurs. Pre-season is fun.
Will Sanchez and Coutinho follow this bunch in actually handing in a transfer request?
At 32, Cristiano Ronaldo is being linked with world-record moves. These 30-somethings cost a few bob.
The new Premier League fixtures are here. The opening day has thrown up some classics over the years.
Paul Pogba raised the bar ever so slightly last summer, but we must be close to our first £100m footballer.
This season will end with at least four players scoring 20 Premier League goals. Time to arbitrarily rank them.
It doesn't even feel particularly weird that no Man United player features in the top ten. This is where City excel...
Spurs boast three, while Chelsea and United each have two representatives. And we missed out your favourite.
Storey's labour of love for the 1990s continues unabated as he brings us his ten favourite playmakers.
Le Tiss couldn't even manage a Zenith Data Systems Cup win. Nor did he manage a top two placing here.
Forget Tony Adams and his garish suits, this lot makes his appointment at Granada look plain ordinary.
If you think Arsenal, Liverpool, Man City or Tottenham signings are safe, you are most certainly wrong.
Which players starred last season, but are struggling to live up to such high standards this?
Salt and pepper. Bread and butter. Fish and chips. Pen and paper. Left and right. Craig and Gareth...
Zlatan makes it, but so does a Mad Dog, a sexy lumberjack, and Freddie. RELEASE THE KRAKEN.
Wait, Shaun Maloney is still in the Premier League? And so is Fraizer Campbell?
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