The Mailbox restores our faith in football fans…

We had an awful lot of mails so sorry if yours did not make the cut – at some point we just had to stop reading. If we can move this or any other discussion on, mail theeditor@football365.com

 

‘Fanmail’ for Fat Man
It turns out Matt Dawson is only the second most stomach churning Everton fan then…

Who knew.
Kevin Walsh, Luimneach

 

…When I saw the title of this morning’s mailbox ‘In which someone uses the Fawlty Towers defence’ I knew, just knew, it would be Fat Man Scouse, EFC.

Was I wrong? Was I b*ollocks. He is a charmless, guileless, ignorant pr*ck always ready with an excuse for boorish Anglo-Saxon antics that is completely ignorant of how his crass, self-entitled behaviour comes across to everyone else.

Fortunately, that I was immediately able to pick out who the heading referred to, it means there is just the one Mailbox regular who sp*nks such crap up the wall. Everyone else who takes the time to write in seems decent enough and I hope I am not alone in the afternoon mailbox in responding to his sh*thousery.

Keep them coming, Fat Man Scouse, EFC. Whenever I read a diatribe-ridden missive from you it reminds me how much I like myself for being able to empathise with other people and change my behaviour, not only to avoid looking like a complete twunt, but to be able to enjoy the company of nearly everyone I meet. With the exception of narrow-minded bigots like yourself, obviously.

I hope you make it to Russia next year, if only to hear how well your behaviour comes across with a Russian skinhead.
Blue Tim

 

…Fat Man Scouse – each to their own and you’re perfectly entitled to think that people who think singing ‘2 WW & 1 WC’ is childish and creates the perception that England fans are knuckle draggers, are ‘pathetic.’ I’ve no problem with that. I don’t think it’s particularly well-reasoned, thought out or argued, but that’s your business. On the other hand though, you’ve got to accept then that people (like me) are perfectly entitled to think that your last email was the latest piece of evidence that you’re probably a complete bellend.

My general rules of thumb are this:

Anyone who calls themselves a real fan – bellend
Anyone over 16 who wears a shirt with any name, but especially their own – bellend
Anyone who thinks that Richard Keys/ Ron Atkinson/ Malkay Mackay were hard done by – bellend

Perhaps this puts me in a minority, I wouldn’t be surprised, after all the world’s full of bellends.
Matt, AFC

 

…Fat Man Scouse asks us: “Have we seen Fawlty Towers?” I would ask: “Has he?” In the episode to which he is referring, we are laughing at an idiot. Not the war. An Idiot, who has also had a blow to the head and behaving in a deranged manner, while trying NOT to cause offence, but doing it anyway. That’s where the humour comes from.

How is that in any way comparable to doing impressions of bombers and chanting about the most devastating war in the history of mankind? He says ‘just because it’s about the war’. My bet is you’ve never had friends or family fight in a conflict, and if you have, shame on you for using the words “just” and “war” anywhere near each other.

People watching that game, maybe in the crowd, certainly on TV, will have had family affected by the Second World War. Maybe parents, maybe grandparents but someone who lost their lives or sustained serious injury. Maybe a few people watching on TV even fought in the war. But apparently people like Fat Man Scouse and his pathetic band of cretins that sing these songs think it’s funny.

And then of course, he uses the defense of modern times. The defense of the bigots and racists. It’s our fault for being offended. Anyone who is offended is a snowflake or has “sand in their vagina” as he puts it. It seems from a certain section of the population these days it’s fine to be racist, xenophobic or offensive and if people don’t like it it’s their fault.

He’s right when he says it’s not got anything to do with football. It’s about being a decent human being and not taunting people over a war in which 60 million people lost their lives. The fact that anyone actually thinks it’s ok to do that makes me utterly depressed.
Mike, LFC, Dubai

 

…One of the worst things about Daniel Storey is that he has these solid opinions based on sense, facts and roughly based on what society ought to be like if they weren’t a bunch of w**kers.

The problem with Daniel Storey is that all the blithering idiots who need to read his opinion buy rags like The S*n on a daily basis so most of the time he’s preaching to the converted. The even bigger problem is that those like Fat Man Scouse, EFC who do manage to read it can’t actually sit back for a second and think about the opinion before writing in to tell you that you’ve got sand in your vagina (as if having a vagina was a terrible thing…do you think he knows he came out of one?).

There is a difference between moral outrage and actually taking a second to think about what you’re saying and who you’re saying it to, which is very much the case for both the England Fans and yourself when you’re writing in to Big DS. It’s embarrassing that someone, who I assume is of adult age, can’t work that out for himself and in fact has the temerity to write in to tell you how stupid you are for thinking anything different instead of presenting articulate and sensible points to the contrary.

Calling names doesn’t make you big, clever or correct. It might scare others into simply agreeing with your point. I’d advise you to take the eye patch off your d**k and try to use your eyes and brain instead for a change.
Minty, LFC

 

…Any right-minded individual would understand the importance of challenging foolish and unpleasant opinions and behaviours. I commend F365 for being one of the few outlets who regularly do this. We only need to look at what happened at Westminster yesterday to see what goes on when these go unchecked.

And so we come to Fat Man Scouse and his strangely angry missive. Firstly, this is not representative of the ‘British culture of fun’. It is just being unpleasant and makes everybody assume all English fans and people are a bunch of ignorant half-wits.

Secondly, I’m not against ‘blokey’ culture per se, but you have to wonder at the psychology of somebody who uses the words ‘expunging the sand from their vaginas’. Are you suggesting that any man who shows awareness that someone is saying something offensive and reprehensible is somehow displaying female characteristics in doing so? And that is something to be ashamed of? What an incredibly odd point of view.

I’m sure I won’t be the only one to respond to this, but really – what a massive bell end. I think it was you who was “losing your shit” and being “pathetic” and “embarrassing”.

Now go and have a long think about what you did and if you don’t then realise you have behaved like a spanner, go find your like-minded brethren on the Daily Mail website and never darken these hallowed pages again.
Thin Man Manc

 

…I only got as far as the first email in the mailbox before I felt compelled to write in.

I kind of get the argument that ‘football isn’t meant to ”mean” anything’ so stop ascribing a moral code to it. I strongly disagree with that point, as the wider issue for me is that football is indicative of the wider culture in the country. It may not ‘mean’ anything on purpose, but it certainly represents something and you shouldn’t just ignore it.

The point Daniel Storey made that in the period from 2002 to 2014 we didn’t see the kind of things we saw last night and in France in 2016. The increase in poor behaviour of English fans and the jingoistic chanting correlates entirely with the increase to nationalism/isolationism/anti-foreigner rhetoric in wider society.

Then he said we all make jokes about the war, its British culture, look at Fawlty Towers. Maybe he should rewatch the episode? Isn’t the joke ‘look at Basil Fawlty and how awkward he is around Germans’, not ‘we won the war hahaha and you Germans used to goose step everywhere which is a funny way to walk’. It’s the Stewart Lee line all over again, that Al Murray’s Landlord schtick gets the whole crowd laughing but they don’t get the joke.

Anyway, aside from my clear liberal, left-leaning politics, what compelled me to write in was his last paragraph, specifically ‘expunge some of that sand from their vaginas’.

The blatant disgusting misogyny of that statement. Let that sink in. It’s 2017. The inference being if you can’t handle the banter, you are a woman, and we all know women can’t handle banter because they are weak, not like proud fat scouse man. And surely that’s point here, that old fat scouse man tries to disprove but lets himself down at the end.

Football is symptomatic of the attitudes of society whether you like it or not. Sexism, racism, homophobia and all sorts of prejudices that afflict our society are all present and amplified in football. You cannot separate one from the other because they do not occur in vacuums. Maybe this concept is difficult to appreciate, but surely it bears thinking about. What do the actions of those English fans singing WW2 songs say about our country?

By the by, sand in any crevice is uncomfortable, it’s not exclusive to vaginas.
Nic AVFC, Feminist

 

…Well who would have expected the mailbox champion of ignorance to come up with a bullsh*t defence of xenophobic idiocy? Good old Fat Man, always ready to leap in when society starts to think, “Surely we can do better than this?” with a bellowing ‘NO! NO WE CAN’T!’, like the loudmouthed pillock he is. God bless the muppet for doing everything he can to keep that Everton stereotype alive.

Fat Man, what you choose to do in your own farcical life is up to you. I’m sure you had a whale of a time swooping around your living room, wings outstretched like a noble bomber. You probably made all the noises too. I’m sure you’re really good at them. Everyone always says so. “Fat Man, keep up the plane noises you sad Fokker”, they say in praise. And people often make admiring glances at your ‘Gotcha!’ wallpaper. They don’t say anything, but jealousy is often a silent beast.

And Christ alive, haven’t these bleeding heart ninnies seen Fawlty Towers, for God’s sake? Forty years old but as accurate and relevant as ever before. They sure don’t write them like that anymore. All PC rubbish these days. Can’t even call a black man ‘Chalky’ without someone getting all precious about it. It’s just a bit of fun. No harm done. I mean, Fat Lass here happily calls himself fat, so why are you being so sensitive about all of this? If they didn’t want the songs they should have won the war, like Fat Neck did.

Fat Mess, I’m not sure why anyone in that crowd felt the need to laugh off the seriousness of the World Wars. Was it particularly playing on their collective minds? Were they tense and worried about their future following years of conflict? Are they uncertain of the safety of their family members that have yet to return? Oh no, hang on a sec. The war finished 70 years ago. Seventy f***ing years. And Fawlty Towers almost forty. That’s the shit you want to hang your sweaty, pie-stained hat on? F*** off.

Fat W***e, you should be grateful that F365 try to actually balance out their own bias by printing mails such as yours. You are the other side. You can keep telling yourself you are fighting the good fight, I’m sure you will. Just like the sloped foreheads that grumble along at every EDL march, you’re just trying to fight for British ideals, right? It’s about your culture. Your country. Your right to confuse the public as they try to work out where your head ends and your neck begins.

People will always step up to defend ignorance, and usually with words that are even more comically dense. They will attack the other viewpoint as being soft, because we all know that real men are absolute f***ing simpletons. They will criticise your lack of patriotism, because the only thing keeping Jerry out of Blighty is one fat c*** and his jowly bleating. And they will defend it with the same old nonsense, because we all know there is one truth that is stronger than all: bigots are utter cowards and do not stand by their beliefs. Fat “Man” has waddled into the mailbox on numerous occasions as defender of the ignorant. It’s what he does. And it’s almost always because F365 have an apparent agenda. Which goes against his own agenda. As I’ve said before, I’d think more of the blithering fool if he would at least stand up/tilt his behemoth-bed and be honest. But no, every time it’s the same old tired sh*t. He’s the guy in the office that’s starts every conversation with, “I don’t have a problem with Muslims, but.. ” and then proceeds to talk about the sh*t he heard in the pub about some bloke called Khaled that Sweaty Dave works with. Khaled’s not a Muslim, but he is a bit dark and he does have an accent, and you know these foreign are a sneaky bunch.

Fat Miserable Soul, you keep doing you. You keep fighting the good fight. You haven’t even got onto All Garnett yet. Can’t these people take a joke? F***ing wooly liberals. Sandy vaginas everywhere. Actually, while we’re at that point, has anyone ever heard the sand/vagina comment from someone who was actually making a good point, or is it solely reserved for use by the absurd when unable to offer an actual sensible response? The good old ‘oversensitive’ response (and from a Scouser at that – imagine how silly he’ll feel if he ever becomes sentient).

You know what? I feel sorry for you. The world left you behind a long time ago, and you’re trapped in the avocado bathroom of the past. You’re scared and confused, unsure of this world and frightened of Kale. You need songs about a war long ended to help you ‘deal’ with it. All of this embarrassment, and you think you’re in a position to call others pathetic? Dude. Have a f***ing look in the mirror. See that sweaty thing? That’s the f***ing joke that society is laughing at. The desperate idiot defending the indefensible. The cretin who spends his days sniffing his fingers, and blaming Islam for the smell. You need education, but you don’t want it. You actively choose ignorance on a daily basis. Now THAT is pathetic.

Oh, and Fawlty Towers is shit. Genuinely shit. Less comedic depth than Hale and Pace, and worshipped by the same gibnuts who still witter on about Morecambe & Wise. And for every one of you who feels differently, I have one question: think of a scene from the series. Done? Cool. It’s either Basil shouting at Manuel, or Waldorf Salad. You know it’s true.
thayden

 

…People should get off Fat Man Scouse’s back after all when England play India in the cricket, there’s always constant chanting about how Gandhi managed to bring down a whole empire through peaceful protest.

Hang on – no they don’t – because it was over 70 bloody years ago.

The comparison stands up – 15 August 1947 was arguably India’s finest hour and Indian cricket fans are the craziest (in a good way) on the planet.
Graham Simons, Gooner, Norf London

 

…I’m sure you’ll get a few of these, but just want to respond to Fat Man Scouse’s attempt at justification for English behaviour using Fawlty Towers (I assume you mean ‘The Germans’ episode?)

Ignoring the obvious retort that Fawlty Towers was 40 years ago and we’re hoping that we’ve moved on since then (some of the dialogue has been cut for that very reason), I’d like to draw your attention to how comedy works, with information on who the target of the humour is. In Fawlty Towers, quite obviously we were supposed to find ourselves laughing AT Basil Fawlty, his ridiculous and unhinged behaviour caused himself and his colleagues much embarrassment. We’re not laughing at The German guests, or at least you’re not supposed to be.

In the chants made by English fans, they weren’t an incredibly self-aware, self-deprecating effort showing an ability to laugh at themselves, rather an obvious taunt to the German fans regarding the Second World War.

Therein lies the difference. Fawlty Towers was like a whole comedy episode proving Daniel Storey’s point, laughing at outdated and unnecessary mentions of the war, that achieved nothing but to damage the reputation of the hotel.

I hope this helps.
Mike (AVFC), London

 

Football is not for me anymore…
After reading your piece about why the banter defence doesn’t work, I couldn’t help but write in to explain how this describes my feeling of lack of belonging to the sport I used to love.

In my youth, 14-19, I followed my team all over the country visiting every ground and never missing an away match. I am now thirty-four years of age, so my time of visiting these grounds would have been in a darker period of football fandom. I have seen black players been abused by hundreds, not the odd few, making monkey noises. People using homophobic terminology, which is still an issue today, and people quite openly using the N word and the P word.

Why am I telling you about this? I was drawn to a line in your piece about how parents are considering not introducing their children to the national team and I can completely see why. You see, when I was 14, I thought this was the way to behave. It was learned behaviour, and I spent so much time with the same away fan stalwarts that hearing them use words and phrases such as the above became the norm. I had respect for these people I shared a coach with every other Saturday, so how could they be bad people? I am ashamed to say that when I was younger I would be one of those morons, but deep down it was never who I was. It was only when I started to get a bit older and started to be invited to potential fights with other fans that I started to pull away from the group entirely. I have always found violence abhorrent and being invited to join in crossed a line for me.

Since my younger years I have been to university, obtained my degree and studying for my master’s and have worked and studied in such diverse places that I am ashamed of the way I acted to impress a minority of idiots at football. Thinking I knew better and that ‘football had changed’ I visited a home game with my father for his birthday. There were no people using racist terms, no people using the N word or the P word, but there was an underlying aggression in the atmosphere that, frankly, I could do without in my life. A fellow supporter was annoyed I got the aisle seat, despite me booking them, and was staring at me throughout the game. Of course there was trouble after the game, between home and away fans, and it was then that I decided I wouldn’t be returning.

I am not trying to say all football fans are like this at all. We were at the game and many people were there with friends and family just looking for some good football entertainment. The good people are the majority but, like your article suggested, the louder minority are what is being remembered and I am at the point where I don’t wan’t to spend money on feeling like I am at a potential brawl.

Football has made me feel like the current political wave sweeping across the world, that I don’t belong, and that’s just terribly sad.
Andrew Gorman

 

It’s difficult to argue it’s for me either…
I know that a photo in isolation can only tell so much, but I’ve searched the one that accompanied Daniel’s piece this morning a number of times and I found one POC among the visible supporters in the foreground. Telling? Possibly. But with Caucasian being the majority ethnicity of Britain, finding large swathes of non-white faces in an England away contingent in particular would be difficult, yes (the economic make up of our nation has a hand in that, among others). But finding them dotted around in 1s or 2s shouldn’t be *this* difficult.

As a POC myself, I am acutely aware that when at a football ground I look different to many of the other supporters there. I can handle this usually as it won’t be long until I am back in a place where I no longer feel as alien: home. Going to England away games hasn’t been an ambition of mine since the very early 2000s. Cost, time and generally losing interest in the national team has put paid to that. But the notion that I could be turned on by a rowdy, drink-fuelled, predominately white crowd, be it verbally or physically, also makes me fearful of going (the reaction I witnessed at a large pub chain after England’s Euro 2004 defeat to France was also a catalyst). Targeting someone that looks different to you is the oldest violation that can be visited on a person and I value both my safety and sanity too much to warrant putting myself in a position where that could happen.

As the level of brazen, yet misplaced nationalism continues to permeate in the wake of Brexit, many commentators, both of the football and political variety, will look to the authorities to address the causes and implement changes which will soothe the collective headache we have in dealing with inappropriate rhetoric and violence. But (to bring it back to football), this is a grassroots-level problem that needs a grassroots-level response. It starts in the home, it starts in the pubs and should continue into the stands.

Until you have enough people willing to throw light on their own supporters and point out that what they say and how they act have consequences, those chants aimed at Germans about ‘2 world wars and 1 world cup’ will continue to top the England Supporters Chants Top 10. And if we allow this mob of ignorant xenophobes to get away with spitting out whatever they please, we can’t claim to have the moral high ground in any aspect of life if we still can’t move on with any semblance of dignity from the darkest periods this nation has faced and triumphed against. Understand that this is not just an England supporter’s issue, this goes right into the heart of club culture, where in the bosom of camaraderie, you will see and hear unsavoury things that you would likely call out if said in another setting or at the very least, quietly disagree with.

Prior to my son being born, I was looking forward to him maybe taking an interest in football and wanting to go to the ground to see our local team play. If this slow-moving 180 degree turn toward a more narrow, insular society continues, I’m not sure I want him to get involved, if it means having to take “banter” I wouldn’t expect him or I to hear and/or take anywhere else.
James F, BCFC KRO

 

The chants just show a lack of imagination
I generally agreed with the piece on the chanting by English fans, it’s of course rubbish but I did want to just try and explain its general reasoning, I’m not condoning it of course just trying to add some element of balance.

I was a full-on match-going England fan both home and away and at a few tournaments, I’m not any more as I now have mortgage, kids, etc. and can’t really afford the cost or time, and I’m just not as arsed about football as I was. The fans and chanting are very very different between home matches, away qualifiers and tournaments and they pretty much follow those of club football. Let me try (and probably fail) to explain my reasoning.

Home matches are dominated by day trippers who can finally get a ticket for a top-notch match in an amazing stadium, lots of families, the England fans are normally in a section and they are fairly vocal singing songs about our team and occasionally about the opposition if there is some known rivalry or commonality, the majority of the stadium have their own club allegiances and nowadays bring that to the England game, so Arsenal fans will slate Walker, Man United will slate Hart, ultimately the atmosphere is pretty quiet and the fans seem more happy to find individual fault than collective praise.

Tournaments are different, they are ace, the fans are generally all very much focused on our own team and do have chants about us, it’s fairly well planned and is a thoroughly enjoyable experience, there are chants about specific players because they are known in advance and the anticipation stops the normal club bias and so in the stadium it’s pretty good and loud, very little focus is given to the opposition and when it is it’s normally in a light hearted way, playing on stereotypes I guess and some could be upset but things like Scots in Kilts, or Welsh with sheep, it’s not intended to inflame or upset and I guess could be described as banter, we get the same back from others as well, it seems acceptable in the context of patriotic fans in a football stadium.

Now, in my experience the away qualifiers and friendlies are where the problem lies, not just for us but for most national teams. The fans for a start don’t know the team so apart from songs about a couple of regulars there’s not much that can be well planned so songs about players becomes limited, there is still the pressure to be loud and so I think is where almost desperate measures come into it, what do the fans sing against Germany, what’s the most obvious, what will most fans remember, what’s been done before, what’s the easiest to chant. The chant seems out of place now of course, but it’s just mob mentality where all paths seem to converse to make it an obvious choice.
It’s certainly not limited to us, listen to Germany mock us and our nation when they play us, have you heard what the Dutch chant to Germany, what about Irish when they play Scotland. All personal and none of the obvious specifically football related.

Away fans have always been preoccupied in calling out the opposition as well as supporting their own team in a much different way to how the home fans react but it’s not an English fan problem, it’s simply a fan problem, or possibly not really a problem at all.

We have a reputation which was earned and doesn’t deserve to disappear, but the modern English football fan is so far removed from what it once was that it does deserve some fair comparative critique as well as condemnation.
And being pissed up abroad for a football qualifier is most definitely not limited to us.
Steve (the chants are just dull and uninspiring) THFC

 

We need good noise
It goes without saying that World War II was one of the most horrific events in history. One of the few ‘good things’ about it is the heroic resistance of Britain against the Nazis, and its subsequent role in the liberation of Europe. This is something of which the British people can rightly be proud. What it is not is carte blanche to ‘rub it in’ the faces of (the descendants of) those who lost, especially if you were born at least 20 years after the end of the war yourself. Even forgetting everything else that’s wrong with what happened yesterday, the only thing worse than a bad loser is a bad winner – and the England ‘fans’ were incredibly bad ‘winners’ yesterday.

As Daniel Storey rightly says, the (modern, reasonable) Germans are as glad as anyone else that the Nazis lost. In fact, I’d say they deserve some credit for fully acknowledging and expressing regret for the atrocities of the war, especially considering the fact that certain other countries have been a lot less forthcoming about certain historical atrocities they have committed. Turkey has never acknowledged the Armenian and Assyrian genocides, for instance, and I saw a shop in Genoa proudly displaying bottles of ‘Mussolini Wine’ with Il Duce’s face on it a few years ago. Could you imagine a shop selling Hitler Beer in Dortmund?

So where does this abhorrent ‘bad winner’ behaviour come from? To answer that question, I think you have to look at the nature of hooliganism itself. There is, in my opinion, more to it than just alcohol or a misguided love of ‘banter’. In essence, hooligan behaviour is a cry for attention. A certain section of football fans aren’t content to just watch their team and cheer them on. Rather, they want the club to be part of their identity, usually to fill some sort of hole created by disappointment in their professional or personal lives. As a result, they want to share in the attention the team receives in the media and from fans of other clubs. Traditionally, the easiest way to achieve such attention is to act out negatively: by fighting, doing some vandalism and singing dodgy chants. This causes what might be called a ‘Leeds/Chelsea-loop’: fans act like bastards, then get a reputation for acting like bastards, and finally embrace that reputation openly. “No one likes us, we don’t care”. Except, of course, you do.

Thankfully, in recent years, some other groups of fans have discovered that you can easily get similar levels of attention by acting out positively, and doing fun and nice things. I think it started when the South Koreans at the 2006 World Cup got plaudits for leaving the stadium cleaner than when they came in, and it has been snowballing ever since. A new high for ‘positive hooliganism’ was reached last summer, at the Euros in France. While the English and Russian tools were making a nuisance of themselves, the Icelanders wowed the world with their epic ‘viking’ chant, Norn Iron got everybody singing about Will Griggs, and their Southern cousins stood out with their endless delightfully whimsical gapes. Some killjoys called it forced, but personally I loved seeing a bunch of burly Irish guys change a tire for a hapless French local, or serenading a couple on a balcony without a single swear or sexist remark.

And, if you think this sort of thing is only doable for fans of clubs/countries without established bad reputations, there’s a beautiful video on Youtube of the (once) notoriously aggressive ADO Den Haag fans dressing up like clowns and raining down stuffed animals on a section of seriously ill children at their stadium last season. It’s not too late for England fans, we just need to start drowning out the bad noise with some good noise. I would suggest that the England Supporters Club get involved with this, for instance by organising a big tifo for a worthy charity at the next home game. Even the biggest knobs would forego being horrible in the face of a massive action in support for kids with cancer, or something similar.
Joe (love conquers hate, man) FFC

 

Why young people don’t like international football
A couple of friends and I went to the Malta game in October because tickets were cheap, and I was really surprised at how old all the fans were. Much, much older average ages than for any club game I’ve ever attended – I’d genuinely say the average age was probably over 50. I think my generation (I’m 23) are increasingly apathetic about England, and in 10/15 years it could start to show in lowering attendance and interest in international football. It’s already happening to an extent I think – friends of mine who watch every CL matchday and 3-4 PL games on a weekend couldn’t be bothered to tune in. Most of us just count down the days until the international break is over. Even you guys at F365 always ask for mails in the international break because people just lose interest in football.

I think there’s a bit of a ‘perfect storm’ as to why – things like:

– the quality of club football, particularly tactically, far outstrips international football in a way that I am led to believe was not always the case. Only 3/4 international teams could seriously challenge for major honours in Europe were they club sides – England for example would never touch the top six. It’s incredibly difficult to develop a tactical style like Guardiola, Simeone or Pochettino on the international stage due to a lack of time and inability to bring in players to suit the style.

– the over-saturation of club football – there’s so much football that some people want to ignore some games, and internationals are an easy choice because of the aformentioned lower quality (outside of actual summer tournaments of course, which will always generate interest, albeit fleeting for a month/six weeks).

– players almost never play their best in internationals – either the game is a friendly, likely a foregone conclusion, or in a tournament after a gruelling season and they’re all shattered.

– England’s consistent, repetitive failure.

– the FA’s total disinterest in fixing this failure – case in point being Southgate getting the job despite having absolutely no managerial qualifications whatsoever, and having failed spectacularly with one of the brightest international youth sides in the world. I’ve not met one person who thinks he deserves the job, and yet the mainstream football media have generally just ignored his total lack of qualifications.

I’m sure there are more – these are just off the top of my head.
Rustin Cohle

 

A rare e-mail about the actual football
I cannot believe how many fans, pundits, journos think that this was a very good performance.

First of all the Germany team only had three starters! (Kroos, Hummels and Hector)

England had eight starters (Hart, Cahill, Smalling, Walker, Dier, Lallana, Walker, maybe Vardy too)

We were well organised but very poor in front of goal. Germany were absolutely awful until they scored. After they scored we couldn’t get the near the ball.

The back three is definitely a more appropriate formation for this generation of players, and with Kane, Rose and Walcott we would have been a lot more efficient in front of goal.

Great strike by Podolski but Cahill turned his back on that shot. Adams or Terry would have dived in head first to stop that. Friendly or no friendly!

I still feel like we did not control the game enough in midfield. Livermore and Dier did…OK! We need to find the right balance of quality and experience with the two in midfield and Livermore and Dier is not that!

Matic, Kante, Fabregas run midfields from start to finish regardless of which two are playing. I do not envisage that Livermore, Dier and Ward-Prowse are capable of the same! (cough cough Michael Carrick)

If we do not get this right this formation will not work.
Arsenal fan from England

 

Wilshere to Man United? Really?
Nice write up from EMUFC this morning on how Jack Wilshere could be worth a £40m bid from Utd to replace Michael Carrick. This follows yesterday’s suggestion that he go to Everton who will be flush with money from selling Barkley (!).

Now, I have written a few times that I am a fan of Jack. However, however, has nobody noticed that he is currently not getting into the Bournemouth team? He is currently sitting on the bench for the smallest club ever to reach the top flight. A club with seven seasons outside of the bottom two tiers in their entire history. A team that has won the last two games he didn’t start, with him celebrating on the sidelines as Afobe smacked the second on the weekend.

England played last night with Jake Livermore in midfield. And yet Manchester Utd, one of the biggest clubs in the world, is going to spend £40m on Jack in the summer? I still see his best option going abroad. AC Milan would suit him down to the ground.
Micki (shame Fat Man Scouse, EFC ruined my point about Everton fans in the very next mailbox) Attridge

 

Oh and no thanks to Lukaku
As attractive in the short term as Lukaku to United is, it strikes me as a terrible long-term signing. His record for a player approaching 24 is impressive (160 goals in just over 350 games), but suggests any long term contract this summer would be dangerous.

The precedent for strikers who excel and play as a regular first team player from their late teens isn’t encouraging, particularly more robust, muscular players. Lukaku has a comparable career trajectory to Ronaldo mk.1, Rooney, Torres, Raul, Owen and other youth prodigies. All of the above were essentially finished as elite players by 30, and in significant physical decline before that. Lukaku might buck that trend, but given that United already have Rashford and Martial, the risk is totally unnecessary.

United have spent the better part of five seasons managing the physical decline and diminishing returns of a prematurely aged striker whose length and value of contract have made him unsellable. Having finally managed Rooney out of the club (with impressively little controversy), and with Rashford and Martial already at the club, and Ibra potentially present for another year, the merit of buying Lukaku is limited.

For a squad that needs a starting left-back, a replacement for Carrick (in a market with vanishingly few options), and potentially a centre-back and right-back, dropping the better part of £100m and a five or six year contract on Lukaku makes no sense.
Chris MUFC

 

Choonz
I know this kind of thing has been done before, but it’s the international break, so like myself as an awkward teenager, I’m guessing the mailbox is just grateful for any attention it gets.

I can’t hear Willy Caballero’s surname without singing the ‘Canyonero’ song from The Simpsons in my head (and occasionally out loud, to the displeasure of anyone around me). Try it, it fits pretty well! Apparently it sounds even better if you can sing ‘in tune’, but everyone’s a critic these days.

So to the three people still perusing the ‘box during the latest almost-too-much-fun international inertia, channel your inner Simon and/or Garfunkel and let’s have your much better suggestions for footballers names in songs please!
Andy G (unfortunately not related to Peter)