Thomas Muller: He'll Never Inspire Poetry

Not that we condone the writing of poetry about footballers, of course. But if we did, we'd suggest that you write abut (The Real) Ronaldo, whose record Muller will take...

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Comments 1 - 10 of (14)

bleublancrouge (Chelsea) says...

I don't understand why the narrative has suddenly become "Muller is an unspectacular footballer whose success must be explained to the common spectator." The guy's not a limited poacher or technically average player compensating with instinct. He's never been unrated. He's a fantastic footballer in every respect, and inarguably a better player than England has produced in the last 20 years (needless to compare, but just as an incidental aside). As to his physique - unremarkable, tall, slender, full hair - I don't understand the obsessive criticism that I find in the comments section. Given the appearances of the average English fan, there's something rich about overweight, follically challenged blokes making such attacks with all the nerve and wit of schoolyard bullies.

Posted 10:22am 10th July 2014

bungle1976 (Manchester United) says...

The ultimate hipster footballer. Even his nickname speaks of home brew, big beards and roll neck sweaters with sage nods and appreciative murmours. No room for a "Phenomenon" here, no "Der Kaiser", no "Octopus", "King Kenny", "Little Flea", "El Pistolero" (b*stard!!!), "El Tigre", "Baby Faced Assassin"... No. Muller is "The Interpreter of Space"... He is what George Smiley is to James Bond. No fancy gadgets, Aston Martins or watches that undo dresses with lashings of martinis. Just gets the job done with quiet efficiency.

Posted 11:23am 20th June 2014

fictionalemu says...

As others have already said, it should be obvious to people with more than a 'passing interest in football' what makes Muller so effective despite lacking the obvious technical or physical skills of someone like Ronaldo: his footballing intelligence, and in particular his ability to find and make space for himself. That's why Germans call him 'Raumdeuter', which means something like 'space investigator'. It's very easy to appreciate players like either of the Ronaldos or Messi, but a player like Muller is one for the connoisseurs.

Posted 7:47pm 19th June 2014

HarryBoulton says...

Very, very intelligent player. Has that knack of finding space, even in crowded areas. His finishing is good, he's quick and skillful. A very German forward, I would say.

Posted 2:43pm 19th June 2014

Drunkenmaster says...

Yup, not only is Klose 36, he still looks good and if Muller is great at the next two world cups, is good for the rest of this world cup, he'd be like Klose, a great player to take in a similar role as Klose at this one. Experience, morale, someone to give experience to younger players and a genuinely useful option off the bench regardless of age. Could see Klose starting the last group game if/when they win their second group game. Major injury looks to be his biggest threat to appearing in 3 or more world cups at this stage. More to the point, there is every chance he can break the record potentially long before a theoretical 5th world cup for him. Depending on how this tournament goes he looks to have a decent shot of beating the record at the next world cup. I'd quite like to see Klose, a player a little less talented I think than Muller but with the same "right place right time" intelligence to his game, break the record this tournament then Muller break it in the future.

Posted 2:08pm 19th June 2014

thegame983 says...

Movement, finishing & a great team player are his strengths.

Posted 12:52pm 19th June 2014

p.jones100faces (Tottenham Hotspur) says...

@beartank How old is Klose?

Posted 11:58am 19th June 2014

p.jones100faces (Tottenham Hotspur) says...

@beartank How old is Klose?

Posted 11:58am 19th June 2014

jimmyjazz (Liverpool) says...

love him, ridiculously intelligent footballer

Posted 11:44am 19th June 2014

Drunkenmaster says...

I'd be very happy if he broke the record and started to think he might do it from last world cup. Not only did he win the golden boot, he also got the joint most assists. It's the very fact that he's not overly athletic that makes me admire the guy so much. He is simply in the right place at the right time more than any other footballer I've ever seen. When someone else is making a run he moves into space and ready to receive it, or he makes a run and pulls the defender out of position to make space for his team mate to run in to, or he is ready for the one two to play perfectly for someone else, or he's in the right place to score, or put in a brilliant cross. He has what you would call a footballing brain, he judges almost every situation perfectly, an in instant and picks almost the perfect run to make. He is the most ridiculously, disgustingly effective player around today. He can score from anywhere, or set up someone else from anywhere. he can play wide or upfront, he won't be less effective in any position. If he had Ronaldo's speed and strength or Messi's pace and low center of gravity you would probably have the best player in the world. Ronaldo and Messi themselves are no slouches in the "right place at the right time" stakes, but when they aren't their physicality can make up for it. There are many many players who simply can't match either player for strength or pace, who can match Muller.... and yet still can't stop him. Watching someone just strut around the pitch out thinking everyone is great to see. Joint top goal scorer, joint top assister... in his first world cup at 20, who played two games less than others due to a bogus second yellow meaning he missed the semi. Don't forget that Germany, albeit against Spain, looked utterly lost without him and may well have won the whole thing had he not.

Posted 11:01am 19th June 2014

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