With three of Barcelona's back four already missing for Wednesday's Roman rumble, Gerard Piqué's enthusiastic attempt to pour a bottle of Cava into a wind machine seemed somewhat silly.
On closer inspection, the former Manchester United was merely trying to ram the cork off the bottle using a sharp spike sticking out of the contraption. So no danger of injury there then.
Barça were celebrating the raising the league trophy in front of a packed Camp Nou crowd despite a 1-0 defeat to Osasuna.
Whilst the home side had chosen to play a lily-livered line-up for the second game in succession, relegation-threatened Osasuna had no option but to pick up all three points if they were to take their survival scrap to the final match of the season.
The Camp Nou clash was just one of nine la Liga battles being fought simultaneously on Saturday night, to ensure all was fair and square in the fights for European places and against relegation.
Due to the somewhat fluid situation of tv rights in the game in Spain, one terrestrial tv channel had ambitiously decided to show eight of the encounters at the same time by flicking between the action whenever and wherever it took place across the country.
For the more easily distracted, simple-minded footie supporters such as your correspondent it was akin to attempting a Sudoku in front of a belly-dancing Bella Emberg.
However, it was still enormous fun with football stripped down to its sexiest parts and all the gristle removed. And that's quite a luxury in la Liga considering a good half-an-hour of every match consists of players rolling around like big Jessies and referees blowing for the flimsiest of fouls.
After a quiet first fifteen minutes of football, first blood was struck in el Madrigal with Villarreal taking the lead against Champions League rivals, Valencia with a bug-eyed, finger-jabbing Joseba Llorente grabbing the first of his two goals in the eventual 3-1 win over the men from Mestalla.
The victory leaves the Yellow Submarine with the promise of European football next season but probably of the distinctly non-sexy Europa League variety as they are stuck in fifth, some two points behind Atlético Madrid who themselves battered Athletic Bilbao 4-1 in San Mamés.
The rojiblancos would need surpass even the greatest of their past gaffes to blow their fourth-placed position next weekend in the Vicente Calderón against a naff-all-to-play for Almería.
Atleti are currently benefiting from the work of a shooting-pants-on-fire Diego Forlán who grabbed a hat-trick to move him into top spot for Spain's top scorer 'Pichichi' trophy with 31 goals and Europe's Golden Boot competition.
Quite frankly, a Premier League club would have to be a dribbling, wibbling loon not to snap up a striker who has now racked up eleven goals in the last seven games from pretty much every position on the pitch.
As Saturday night eked towards half-time a flurry of goals saw struggling Betis taking the lead against Málaga and Sporting 1-0 up against Valladolid - a result that pushed Getafe into the drop zone as they battled Numancia.
But on the sixty-minute mark, Getafe finally got their act together when Roberto Soldado curled a shot into the corner of the Numancia net after a lung-busting run from Cosmin Contra that could only have been stopped with the use of a brick wall.
However, there was still time for Getafe to pull off their usual trick of missing a penalty - their sixth of the season - before manager, Michel, was able to gasp after the game that "over the course of the night we were safe, relegated and now safe again."
The narrow defeat for Numancia was the final wave that sank their Primera pedalo and the Sorian side now faces an immediate return to the second division.
Numancia were joined in their night of doom by relegated Recreativo who crashed to a 1-0 home defeat against Racing Santander who ensured their own survival after a 76th minute strike from Nikola Zigic - the ten-foot tall Serbian striker who shares Peter Crouch's aerial abilities.
Rather than looking towards constant defensive errors throughout their campaign, the southern side seemed happier to blame a cauldron-stirring cabal of Recreativo-hating referees for its downfall.
"If they take ten or eleven points away from you in the season, it's tough to stay up" moaned Recreativo director, Michael Dumois.
Real Betis could well become the third side to go down, next weekend, after their 1-0 advantage was cancelled out by a stunning strike from Málaga's Albert Luque, a goal that stomped on the suggestion that the Seville side would be given a helping hand by their Andalusian cousins.
"We will have to celebrate survival at home, there's no other way" noted Betis coach, José María Nogués looking ahead to the final clash with Valladolid, another side who could well slip into la Segunda on the final day.
It was much happier news for the city's second club with Sevilla guaranteeing third place after a last minute header from Diego Perotti in a 1-0 win over Deportivo.
Just one game took place on Sunday night with the runt of la Liga's programme, Real Madrid v Mallorca, taking place at the Bernabeu.
It was a tussle between two teams with nothing to play and a pitiful performance from the home side in front of a pitiful crowd who entertained themselves by launching paper aeroplanes into the pitch - a lot more diverting than the 3-1 home defeat taking place below them.
The subdued atmosphere was in stark contrast to the Primera-winning party being held in the Catalan capital. But it was an booze-free fiesta for much of the Barcelona squad with Wednesday's Champions League clash on the league leader's radar.
With the sounds of Coldplay's Viva la Vida echoing around the stadium, Pep Guardiola's inspirational music of choice, Barcelona's coach took a microphone and sent out a message to the celebrating fans.
"The players won't let us down on Wednesday night" cried Pep, a man who hoping that the Piqué and his posse will be back at the Camp Nou on Thursday. But this time, with the Champions League trophy. And a corkscrew.
Round 37 results
Villarreal 3-1 Valencia
Barcelona 0-1 Osasuna
Sevilla 1-0 Deportivo
Getafe 1-0 Numancia
Recreativo 0-1 Racing Santander
Valladolid 1-2 Sporting
Málaga 1-1 Betis
Athletic 1-4 Atlético Madrid
Almería 0-3 Espanyol
Real Madrid 1-3 Mallorca
Final Round Rumbles
Champions League
Barcelona, Real Madrid and Sevilla already confirmed. Atlético Madrid and Villarreal still fighting for fourth and fifth spots.
Europa League
Villarreal guaranteed spot. Final place between Valencia and Deportivo
Relegation
Recreativo and Numancia already down. Final place between Osasuna, Sporting, Betis, Getafe and Valladolid.
Tim Stannard
