Kaka to Man City? David Villa to Man United? Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Chelsea? It's all fantastic craic but never, ever going to happen. It's got nothing to do with Alistair Darling's tax plans or the weakness of the pound, and everything to do with history telling us that world-class foreign footballers at the peak of their powers do not want to join English clubs.
We have to either get them early (Ronaldo, Cesc Fabregas), desperate (Dennis Bergkamp, Robinho) or when their careers have long since peaked (Michael Ballack, Andriy Shevchenko). After racking our brains for all of seven minutes, the only obvious exception to the rule is the then-coveted Juan Veron. And how did that go again?
Even Fernando Torres had played only a handful of Champions League matches for Atletico Madrid when he joined Liverpool - he was still being filed under 'promising' - while other current Premier League stars like Michael Essien, Didier Drogba and Xabi Alonso have become world-renowned players while in England. And what happens as soon as they reach that level? They're linked to big clubs in Europe, of course.
We'll credit Mailbox regular Mike Christie with doing the research legwork but his claim that every World Player of the Year barring Lothar Matthaus has played for Real Madrid, Barcelona, AC Milan or Juventus (or moved there within the year) is telling. We may have the strongest quartet of teams in Europe, but there's still a quartet of sexier teams that have a pull foreign players cannot resist.
Whether it's the weather, the food, the language, the isolation of being an island or whatever, there's no way the likes of Kaka or Villa will come to England unless they are desperate for either redemption or money. To pretend otherwise might sell newspapers, but it fools nobody who has been following English football for more than five minutes.
This is not a shift in the balance of power - it's the status quo. Ronaldo is leaving the Champions League finalists for a team that won nothing last season because Real Madrid has a lure, and it's not just the money. It's Real f***ing Madrid. Whatever United win, that still sounds sexier to anyone but Paul Scholes.
The tabloids have to perpetuate the myth that the Premier League is the world's biggest draw so they will throw names like David Villa and Sergio Aguero around like confetti, but sensible folk know that someone like Klaas-Jan Huntelaar is a likelier signing for United and fits a type - northern European and seriously miffed.
Samuel Eto'o may well buck a trend but if he does join Manchester City it will patently be for the cash, and they will have to make him England's highest-paid player to get him here. That's not the balance of power, unless the power you're talking about is the power of money.
Sarah Winterburn
Your Comments
biggie_man83
"I agree with Doofus, its a lot to do with who you grew up watching and not money. I think if the Premier League keeps dominating Europe for the next decade, in 10-20 years time the best players will want to play in our league.
However, I do feel there is another point as well. Most of the sexy players of world football are southern european/latin american and would prefer to stay in a culture & climate similar to what they are used to.
Maybe if the next Kaka comes from Glasgow, the next Zidane from Swansea, the next Ronaldo from Burnley & the next Villa from Cork we will see the best players shunning the southern European teams for our teams. "
mastrinc14
"ey "sodoff" its called the uefa champions league, The FA should somehow make the premier league more appealing, whether that means initially paying a sh*t load cash to players, Thats the only way they'll come"
snipersudip
"Traditionally manutd,arsenal have been the clubs who cultivates talent and make superstars out of them. i believe ronaldo would not have been the world's best footballer if was in some other club.over these six years we have seen the type of transformation in his attitude and playing style. Manutd would survive the way they are.They will bring raw talent and transform them to world class. I believe Manutd should sign Douglas Costa.Give him 2-3 years and he can possibly take the No 7 shirt at united.There is no point chasing Madrid. They take football as the prospect of money making.Every club wants to make money but there are some footballing ethics which clubs like manu follow..cheers for them!!!1 "
ekkatheking
"Have got to agree about the sexy football, as a footballer where would you rather play? Manchester, Liverpool or London on a cold wet saturday in january or Madrid, Barcelona or anywhere in Spain. When it comes to real life ambitious football based on speed and strength the northern european clubs seem to have an abundance of clubs, but all the glitz and glamour that follows the mediteranean clubs, along with the large wages will always attract the majority of footballers. In reality most foreign players would rather play around the med countries because of the style of football, culture ,food, oh, and money but its not always the best football."
ekkatheking
"Have got to agree about the sexy football, as a footballer where would you rather play? Manchester, Liverpool or London on a cold wet saturday in january or Madrid, Barcelona or anywhere in Spain. When it comes to real life ambitious football based on speed and strength the northern european clubs seem to have an abundance of clubs, but all the glitz and glamour that follows the mediteranean clubs, along with the large wages will always attract the majority of footballers. In reality most foreign players would rather play around the med countries because of the style of football, culture ,food, oh, and money but its not always the best football."
sodoff
"The only way to combat this is to introduce a
European super league."
eeeddd0210
"The premier league only has a good recent record in the cl because we have had the same 4 clubs in it for 5 seasons running. put man city or villa in and they would get nowhere. in spain and italy it always seems to vary like next season atletico are in again but sevilla are back and in italy ac milan failed last season but are in next seasons. and for germany well there winners were wolfsburg. we might have the most expensive players and the best stadiums but our league is so boring and no matter how much money man city spend they wont break the top 4."
Doofus
"To be honest I think its a bit more simpler than that... If English teams were dominating the world football scene in the 80's then people like Kaka and Robinho and Ronaldo and all the world class foreign players that you would care to mention would've grown up supporting Manchester United or Liverpool or even Nottingham Forest then they would've grown up with the dreams of playing for them and also the way of life we live here in Britain is much different to the way they live in the meditarranean and even out in South America... I think that if we start to dominate football wherever we play both at club and national level, in about 20 years time Kaka Junior and Zidane the 3rd will be playing in the Prem and even then, the Los Galacticos will still have more sway, its a cultural thing..."
minhtrang_0306
"Villa will never play for MU.He just wants to play at Laliga...."
markfrost
"This needs to be put in perspective...really it is only Real Madrid who have been spending the big money on the top players over the last few years. Look at Barcelona, all of their current top performers have come through the ranks with the exception of Eto'o (plucked from Mallorca) and Henry. Milan dont really spend big anymore, Kaka and Pato were taken as youngsters from Brazil. "
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