16.08: Florentino Perez says it's 'just a matter of time' before they add David Villa to his merry band of band of very expensive men.
"He is an excellent player that we must fit into our project. Manuel Llorente has to do what he has to do, as do I. The signing is just a matter of time," he told mouthpiece Marca.
15.04: Former QPR boss Paulo Sousa has been offered the job vacated by Roberto Martinez. Will he inherit the tan shoes?
14.56: Hmmm, we're really not sure Kevin Doyle is worth £6.5m, but that's the figure being bandied around by the Reading Chronicle, who claim the Irish striker is about to join Wolves.
14.40: Former Spurs defender Noe Pamarot is in talks with St Etienne about a deal after his contract expired at Portsmouth, according to the French media.
14.19: Bad news for F365's (heterosexual) Nick Miller, who has a man crush on Gennaro Gattuso. His agent says the beardy wonder is not coming to Chelsea.
"Milan is Gattuso's home. Just because he has a good relationship with Ancelotti it doesn't mean that he will move to Chelsea," the agent told Blogosfere.it.
"The future of a player and his relationship with a coach are two different things. Everyone knows Rino would be good in the Premier League, he was just answering a question.
"In any case, Chelsea have not been in touch with us."
Boo.
13.59: Porto, Stoke or Montpellier? If you had that choice - as Gregory Vignal is claiming - where would you go? Not to the bloody Potteries anyway...
13.36: Burnley boss Owen Coyle has been busy signing a new contract, but not trying to sign Damien Duff. He reckons the Irishman is out of his reach. Come on fella, you're in the Premier League now.
12.36: Ruud van Nistelrooy is a hoary old nag these days, so he's been passing on some sage pearls of wisdom to his younger, callower (is that a word? It is now) colleagues.
"I just stick to my contract," Van Nistelrooy told Nos Radio.
"When the other guys get an offer from a big club, they should accept it.
"They all have big goals, one of which is also participating in the 2010 World Cup, possibly in the starting XI.
"It is different for me. I am injured, and I do not know what Madrid want from me."
So in summary: Ruud says everyone else should go, but he should stay.
12.18: Looks like Wolves are no longer interested in Nancy striker Marc Antoine Fortune, who spent the latter part of last season on loan at West Brom.
Which is just as well for them really as, erm, he didn't look very good.
12.15: News for you now - real news too - although it's not particularly exciting. Owen Coyle has, as expected, signed a new contract at Burnley til 2013.
11.29: This is a rumour that cropped up last week but is now gathering pace - it seems Jose Bosingwa is a target for Bayern Munich and they could sell Tim Borowski, Christian Lell and Andreas Ottl to pay for the Portugeezer. They definitely won't be selling Franck Ribery.
11.27: Lyon president Jean-Michel Aulas has hinted he could be powerless to keep Karim Benzema in a very roundabout way that involves mention of tsunamis.
10.02:Sebastien Bassong claims he has opened talks with two English clubs about a move from the sunken ship that is Newcastle. We would take a guess that on of those clubs is Arsenal.
09.56: Ahhhhhhhhh. Bless Thomas Vermaelen. The Belgian defender reckons a move to Arsenal is all but done, and boy he seems excited about it.
He said: "I feel so proud. Arsenal is a fantastic club, and as a child I watched them play. On Friday, if I go to Emirates Stadium I will be seriously impressed.
"This will be a big change in my life, next year I will suddenly be facing the best strikers in the world. This does not scare me, I will give everything my body has.
"This is one of the best days of my life."
Let's ask him if he feels the same after he's had to mark Didier Drogba or John Carew.
09.39: Really interesting on in The Southern Daily Echo.
They report that one K.Keegan Esq has met with Matt Le Tissier and Leon Crouch, and suggest that he might be talking about taking the Southampton job.
He knows how to pick stable clubs, doesn't he?
09.30: Another agent has piped up, and this time it's Espanyol baldy midfielder Ivan de la Pena's. He claims Blackburn are sniffing around his man, and he does so here.
09.24: You'll remember last week a story claiming Real Madrid have sent round a list of players they wouldn't be too upset about losing, but the club have now denied such a list exists.
09.11: Looks like a busy summer of ins and outs at Wigan, with Paul Scharner looking like the latest to do one.
Dave Whelan said in The Sun: "Scharner may go. He is an unusual character to say the least.
"He even said if Steve Bruce tries to take him to Sunderland he wouldn't go because it was a backwards step.
"But if he comes to me and asks to go, I'll say 'Yes' - even though we don't want him to go."
09.03: If we were Birmingham fans, we'd be worried about the following words from Alex McLeish:
"I haven't made a move for Barry (Ferguson), but I have enquired about him," McLeish told the Daily Record.
"He is one of a number of players I'm interested in. I'm on holiday right now but I'm still working away at some things."
Oh dear.
08.50: As promised, The Gossip Column is online, and contains details of how the Cristiano Ronaldo deal isn't quite as done and dusted as we all hoped.
08.22: Another great big tease now, and Andrea Pirlo has dropped a juicy little hint about his future.
He said: "Perhaps it's possible that I could join Ancelotti in London.
"He is a great coach, perhaps I could play with him again.
"I've been at Milan a long time and maybe it's time for a new chapter in my career.
"I will think about my future at the end of the season. I don't know if I'll continue with Milan."
08.04: We'll have a proper gossip round-up for you later, but the big story in The Sun is that Robin van Persie is being monitored by....Manchester United.
Apparently his contract problems at Arsenal still aren't solved, and the paper claims Alex Ferguson's 'interest has intensified after Van Persie admitted prizes mean more to him than money.'
They then use quotes that are a good two months old to back up their story, so how accurate it is we're not sure.
Anyway, the paper quotes a 'Dutch source' as saying: "Robin loves it at Arsenal but he is getting to the age when he wants to win things.
"He knows that there are clubs interested in him and is waiting to see what happens."
Bullshit? Or surprisingly likely? Drop us a mail on theeditor@football365.com
08.01: Morning morning. Sky Sports News this morning are claiming that David Villa has told Valencia he wants to join Real Madrid, and it seems Marca is their source.
That's not quite what he said last night. In fact, he was rather coy about his future.
