UNITED IN FOR ZLATAN? SERIOUSLY?
We heard this rumour earlier in the summer, but wrote it off as the nonsensical ramblings of a cretin on a forum somewhere.
However, today The Daily Mirror is that cretin. They report that Manchester United are chasing the languid genius/flat-track bully that is Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
With Fergie already having snapped up Michael Owen, the paper reports that Inter are willing to sell Zlatan for a 'sizeable fee', and furthermore United are willing to stump up the £30million odd that he would cost.
They seem to ignore the fact that they already have one lazy-looking bugger up top who often doesn't perform in the big games, but let's not get bogged down in logic here, eh?
BARCA TO SELL ETO'O TO BUY CESC
You may have read Leo Messi's cheeky little comments about Cesc Fabregas and Javier Mascherano.
Cheeky they were too, and you should click here if you want to read them, but The Daily Star backs them up with some hard, fast rumour.
They report that Barca want Cesc so badly that they are willing to sell a striker they do need for a midfielder they most certainly do not.
The paper claims: 'Barca boss Pep Guardiola is desperate to boost his midfield ASAP. So he is now happy to accept City's £25m offer for the Cameroon striker then move swiftly for Arsenal star Fabregas.'
Apparently Barca have a budget of £50million to spend, and could also offer Yaya Toure to Arsenal as part of the deal.
WHICH MIDFIELDER WILL ARSENAL SIGN?
So if Cesc is to leave, Arsenal will need a midfielder or two. Hell, even if he stays they could probably do with one.
Word was that their prime target Felipe Melo was on his way to Juventus, but it seems there might be some wiggle room in that one.
Click here for the details, but in summary it seems the player that Juve have offered Fiorentina in a part exchange deal wants to much wonga.
Meanwhile, The Daily Mirror claims Arsenal are closing on the signing of St Etienne midfielder Blaise Matuidi.
BASSONG CLAIMS ARSENAL CONTACT
Sorry, another Arsenal one now, but Sebastian Bassong reckons that the Gooners want to rescue him from the clown convention that is Newcastle.
He's quoted as saying in The Daily Mail about Arsenal: "I can confirm there was an approach, but for now nothing is concrete. Foreign clubs inquired, but as it is my priority to stay in England, I didn't respond."
However, a deal could be held up by the ludicrousness of Newcastle, with frankly nobody knowing what the f**k is going on.
SUNDERLAND BID FOR CROUCH
Over to a slightly more stable club in that neck of the woods now, and The Times reports that Sunderland have made a bid of £11million for Peter Crouch that could rise to £13million.
The paper claims Crouch is dissatisfied with life at Pompey, and although the bid is expected to be rejected, that is only to 'force an auction' between Sunderland, Fulham and Blackburn.
Steve Bruce apparently retains an interest in Darren Bent, who will probably cost a similar amount, but The Times claims he won't be able to sign Richard Dunne until Manchester City sign a new centre-half.
As a knock-on from that, The Daily Mirror claims Blackburn will make a move for Kenwyne Jones, should Sunderland get their targets.
CHELSEA IN FOR ADAM JOHNSON? REALLY?
Curious stuff in The Daily Mail, and apparently having signed Ross Turnbull, Chelsea are after another player who spent a fair amount of time on the Boro bench last season.
Apparently they need more Englishmen for the pesky Champions League rules, and are willing to spend £8million on left-winger Johnson.
With Stewart Downing, Tuncay, Mido and Afonso Alves also on their way out, the Boro squad is starting to look a little lean, but never fear - Gareth Southgate apparently wants to pay £3million for Rob Hulse.
AND THE REST...
Fulham are weighing up a £1million swoop for Leeds midfielder Neil Kilkenny...Wigan boss Roberto Martinez is planning a swoop for Crystal Palace kid Victor Moses...Carlo Ancelotti is ready to do Wolves manager Mick McCarthy a massive favour and loan him Michael Mancienne...Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson is ready to send young defender Richard Eckersley out on loan to QPR...West Ham are poised to sign Southampton goalkeeper Kelvin Davis...Everton boss David Moyes is eyeing Espanyol's Spanish full-back Sergio Sanchez...Spurs are plotting a £3million bid for Sheffield United whizzkid Kyle Walker...Sunderland will bid £2.5million for AWOL Middlesbrough star Mido...Salif Diao and Andy Wilkinson have both sealed new deals with Stoke.
The KP Gossip
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Your Comments
stuey01
"he is way to hot and cold....over rated if you ask me,bit like the rest of uniteds team...."
rahat
"@ boroie.........i guess Sir Alex seen enough of a "wasted rooney" at the wing last season.sure he wont do try that again.at least i hope he wont try........."
mancunian4life
"Well I can't say that I would welcome Ibrahimovic at OT. He played against us twice last season and he didn't look all that impressive. He had one clear cut chance over two legs and he made a hash of it and apart from that Rio and Vida took him to pieces to be honest.
Besides, for £30m you could get Eto'o, who is much more what we need at the moment, a natural goal-scorer to play on the shoulder of the last defender, much like Owen hopefully will. But the player I really want to see signed by Sir Alex is Ashley Young. He is a natural successor to Ronaldo, and has Premiership experience, and being English will not jump at the first chance of warmer climbs in Madrid or Barcelona. He would be a good shout for the number seven shirt as well."
doncobaino
"i think the amount of names linked with united show the papers have no idea who united are after. I wouldn't be suprised if United buy nobody else. "
bolikali
"Can bet me balls that none of the Ibra haters know that the fact that he is a martial arts expert discounts his lazines but stealth when u need it.I SAW ONE OF HIS MOVES IN A SERIE A MATCH THAT GAVE HIM A STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!!!!!"
WealthyB
"Haha classic PolishJoe :-)"
PolishJoe
"Ibrahimovic has the ability to be another Cantona like figure at United if he could keep, or maybe regain, his focus and enthusiasm. He's a great goalscorer and creator and he does possess that almost languid style of doing everything with the minimum ammount of effort and the maximum effect. His close control skills are awesome but I'd say he would take some kicking in the Prem' if he did come. If you have him at his best you have far more than just a striker that's for sure, but how often would he be at his best? "
mancunian4life
"No way that Sir Alex is going to bid £30m-plus for another striker that does the same job as Berba already does. If anything, he will go for an out-and-out goalscorer in the Benzema mould. A more realistic move would be for Huntelaar, or maybe even Kun Aguero, although he won't score as many goals as he is more of a creator. "
PolishJoe
"WealthyB, while I was checking out Kerlon on youtube, especially liked the one where he nearly had his head taken off, I spotted a great prospect for United. There's this lad called Nani and he looks f#*king awesome, he even seal dribbled against Arsenal when he was playing for Man.....oh yeah, bugger it!"
Prepel
"So its easy for us to call Ibra lazy etc... which i think is a deserved reputation, but wasn't he top goal scorer in Serie A last season?
On a side note, why the hell should I have to give my home address, phone number etc. just to post a comment?
Feeling Violated......"
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