Transfer Gossip

IS IT RIBERY OR AGUERO?
The papers have pretty much agreed amongst themselves (we imagine in a smokey, Dr Strangelove-esque room) that Chelsea will be spunking serious cash in January, while they still can, but they haven't quite got their ducks in a row about who that cash will be splashed on.

Ribery or Aguero? Aguero or Ribery? Ribery AND Aguero?

The Daily Mail has gone for the French loveboat this morning, reporting that Roman Abramovich has told his minions that signing Ribery 'is his top priority'.

The Mail reckons Chelsea/Abramovich will spend £45million on his man, 'preferably in January but in the summer at the very latest', and will lavish further riches on Franck's wages, to the tune of £200k-a-week. Yowzers.

Incidentally, there's a classic picture on the Mail website accompanying the story. Ribery looks even more gormless than usual, Luca Toni has the look of a naughty schoolchild who's done A Bad Thing but doesn't care that teacher has told him off (which is actually true), while behind them sits Lothar Mattheus cadding about with a pretty young lady.


UNITED AND EVERTON CHASE BELGIAN KID
Quick line from The Sun now, who report that Manchester United and Everton will be duking it out for the scribble of a Belgian teenager in the coming months.

Geoffrey Hairemans is his rather splendid name, and the 18-year-old was given time off from his day job at Antwerp to spend a week training with United.

And the midfielder described the experience as 'very beautiful', suggesting that a) United have the edge over their scouse cousins, and b) Wayne Rooney wasn't there that week.


GUTI TO MANCHESTER?
Interesting report by The Daily Mail now, who claim that Guti, a man famed for tantrums, trannies and not being very bright, is having English lessons ahead of a move to Manchester.

The paper reports...actually, scratch that - the paper parrots a report from Spanish daily AS - that Manchesters United and City want a little bit of creativity and experience in their midfield ranks, and think Guti is the man to provide it.

Apparently both clubs have been quoted a price of £4million for the 33-year-old, which seems a little steep for a man of his age, but given that yer man has fallen out quite spectacularly with Real coach Manuel Pellegrini, they might be able to negotiate that price.


HANGELAND GETS A PRETTY PENNY
As gossip is seriously thin on the ground this morning, here's some details about Brede Hangeland's new contract.

The Sun reports that his deal - signed yesterday - will bag the big man around £7million over three and a half years.

For those of you too hungover/mathematically deficient to work that out (and for the record, The Gossip Column is both), that tots up to around £40,000-a-week.


KING ERIC
You know how tabloid journos can get you a little bit excited when there is actually no reason to be at all?

Well think how The Gossip Column - who despite not being a Man United fan and is a heterosexual gent, would happily do man love to Eric Cantona should he ask - reacted when we read the following intro from The Sun:

'Eric Cantona could be lured out of retirement to play for tiny Bath City - if the Somerset part-timers reach the FA Cup third round for the first time in 15 years.'

Frankly, we were already booking train tickets, until we read the next line.

'That is the dream of award-winning film director and Bath fan Ken Loach.'

Bah. If the tabs printed every dream we had, they would definitely not be able to sell it in family newsagents.

And yes we know this isn't really gossip, but there's not a lot around this morning. What do you want - blood?