Imagine your parents meeting Fergie on a Saga holiday. It could just happen come the summer of 2010, but first we'll have to endure a saga ourselves. Even worse, it's a repeat.
The first time Sir Alex Ferguson announced his retirement, the question of who would succeed him was answered by the man himself, as Manchester United endured a fruitless 2001-02 - not only trophyless, but falling short of the top two for the first time since 1991, as Arsenal won the title and Liverpool came second.
That season of failure, marked by months of speculation, showed just how destabilising the departure of one of football's greats could be. If he sticks to his word this time he will leave, finally, as a 68-year-old in 2010. David Gill, United's chief executive, has now said that the Scot "will be a key part of the process", despite Fergie himself having said he wouldn't be involved.
It is absolutely crucial for United's current owners that they get this move right, because the stakes have been raised since 2002. It is inconceivable that United will slip away as they did after Matt Busby's desparture, going from European Cup winners in 1968 to relegation in 1974. But the Glazers need United to stay right at the top, to keep bringing in the revenues that will pay off the massive debts their purchase of the club entails.
Sooner or later, we will start to see uncertainty creep in to transfers moves and contract renegotiations. Players will want to know who they are signing on to play for.
Meanwhile, as the bookies try to guess which candidates are favoured by the directors and not just the punters, matches between United and a host of clubs will be regarded almost as auditions for the job.
At derbies, questions will be asked about whether Mark Hughes's acceptance of the Man City job rules him out of the running. If Aston Villa continue to perform meekly against United, will that count against Martin O'Neill? If European opposition pull off a result against United or a shock against another Premier League team, will that suddenly elevate the victorious coach into the run of candidates, in the way that Jose Mourinho was catapulted to the top of Chelsea's wish-list starting with Porto's victory against United?
Managers at other clubs who fancy their chances will have to think carefully about their own moves, contractual and otherwise. Should they tie themselves up with their employers? Should they kick up a fuss about Fergie's latest absurd comment about a match or tap-up of a player, or play it down for fear of scuppering their chances with a man on the selection panel?
And so on, till one day United announce their man. And your mum and dad get home from a coach tour of the Scottish distilleries or the Bordeaux vineyards and say: "You'll never guess who we met!"
Philip Cornwall
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United Must Get Fergie Replacement Right
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Your Comments
Realmadras
"With the players united have had over the last 20 odd years, my cat could have won as many trophies as red nose. 2 european cups is pathetic for that amount of time in charge, he should be ashamed of himself for being so average and recognise the quality of other managers who have been far more successful in much shorter timescales and with much less money. Lets face it united have bought the league and without money would be on a parr with wigan or bolton. Who cares if red nose goes, good riddance to on overatted bad tempered and arrogant egotist. Whoever takes over at manu will just chuck money at the title as always and we will all be feed drival from the media about how wonderfull united are. Wenger has been far more succesful when you consider how long he has been in charge and how little money he has spent, and mourhino wiped the floor with ferguson in terms of success winning the prem in his first season having already won the champions league with porto. Why are we all supposed to think red nose is so good, I just don't get it, money buys success and united will probably always have that, so my cat is ready for the job when red nose finally unplugs his hair dryer!! "
MGTCMELI
"What United want to be worrying about is the fact that you have no assisstant manager this season. Last year both Rafa Benitez and David Moyes seemed a lot more fatigued and stressed after losing their number 2. Ferguson has always relied on his number 2 (even if it is just to speak to MOTD) and at his age could do with all the stress relief he can get."
paulopeach
"Hiddink is the only replacement i can see for Man Utd until Keane or Hughes (or possibly even cantona) prove their worth. he's calm, level headed, a winner, and has the respect and maturity to look after a team that size. All the Mourinho's and co are too much of a wild card."
Javier
"I dont think anyone wants to see Man Utd playing defensive football like Mourinho does with Chelsea. Even Barca dont want Mourinho... His philosophy doesnt fit the style of attacking football played by Man Utd and Barcelona at all. He's more suitable coaching football in boring Italy.."
mulder
"it moves in cycles and this will be the death of this cycle, im gonna enjoy every minute of it, maybe big ron could stage a comeback !!! its a no win, its gotta be instant success or those hedge funds and the rest of the 600 millions are gonna start knocking on the door if success isnt instant and continual. crap job, crap club, so lookn forward to it :)"
Mutid
"Kopoffwivyrwife - I don't think being at City would stop Sparky going back to United at all and in no way would his life become unbearable, I don't think either sets of fans would do that. Peter Schmeichel went to City without any problems, and so will Sparky, so going the other way isn't a problem either. I think you are over-imagining the hatred and emnity there, fella. Also, Fergie has bought some utter sh!te over the years and his man-amangement has been questionable too, and he has let his outside affairs influence the club. It is arguable that the Fledglings were his real making, but then that was as much Brian Kidd. SAF has done fantastic, but the last thing Man U should do is fear him moving on. No one's perfect - I just can't see anyone out there much better than Mourinho who is still relatively young."
dikens
"much as great people are born,greate footballers like Diago amanda maradona were born.at the end of his reign todate, once great argentina has not been blessed with a player of such pedegree.like wise the birth of fergie was a blessing to man united.it now needs too much wisdom to get his heir.however i would not deny the fact of jose(the special one)s birth to have been a blessing to man uniteds reign as the greatest club in the world."
Kopoffwivyrwife
"mutid matey i doubt sparky would move to utd from city bcos his life would become unbearable (if u were actually from manc youd know that). realistically, if he is successful at eastlands, he has a far greater chance of succeeding scolari at chelski. however he would be a far better choice than mourinho for the simple reason mourinhos footballing mindset is far different from that of utd's. chelski under mourinho played boring football, always looking to stifle their opponents and nick the odd goal and then sit back and defend (which is prob y the italians will love him) utd on the other hand, supposedly, play attacking football all the time (didnt seem that way against barca tho!!! utd def did a chelsea then). utd also like to sign the best players around, whereas many of mourinhos signings were distinctly average such as sidwell (what was he thinking!!!), malouda and kalou. he also has a habit of leaving some of his best talent on the bench or in the reserves. just look at joe cole, he played for england before he was a regular for chelski, i remember a time when it was the other way arnd. he paid £25 million for swp and played him once/twice, what was the point? paid twice as much for mikel than utd would have (compo 2 utd + fee) and hes nowt clever is he? wudve been better of signing mascherano. so yeh mourinho is entertaining and he does add another dimension to the premiership hes certainly a master motivator and great at the mind games but fergies greatest strength over the years has been his man-management. does mourinho have it? u get the impression not, maybe thats why he didnt buy proven superstars, the control freak was scared of losing the limelight, attention and most of all control!!!"
jlopezba
"Why is it that clubs like Madrid, Barcelona, Chelsea, Inter and Bayern can change coach every year without panic setting in or "new players not wanting to sign because they want to know who they will be playing for" but if ManU do its like the end of the world???"
blackchides
"Jose Mourinho is the only natural successor to Fergie when it comes to man management, winning mentality and level of obnoxious-ness. I won't be surprised if United end up with Jose. What I would give though to see Robson taking over, hah!"
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