Sorry, yes, that's exactly what we meant...
In The Know
'Rio Ferdinand looks like he will today win the race to be Fabio Capello's new England captain...Ferdinand, 29, is favourite to get the job around the England camp - even among those pushing the Chelsea man's case' - The Sun.
'Capello chooses between Ferdinand and John Terry today and sems certain to give the armband to Manchester United defender Rio' - The Daily Star.
'Rio Ferdinand is the favourite to take the armband on a permanent basis ahead of Terry. Capello was impressed with Ferdinand when he led the side for the first time in a friendly international defeat to France in March, regarding him as a naturally assured leader who is guaranteed his place in the side' - The Times.
'Rio Ferdinand is the strong favourite with the bookmakers and his selection does look plausible, even if the manager is so discreet that he will surely not have revealed his intentions in a loose-lipped moment. There will be a sense of occasion when he breaks the news' - The Guardian.
'Capello's willingness upon accepting the England job to try to persuade Jamie Carragher out of retirement was driven not by a desire for him to replace Ferdinand, but to play alongside him, immediately cast doubts on Terry's standing. To have someone with Ferdinand's cultured style as the on-field leader would also send out a subtle message that England are trying to move away from the up-and-at-'em English bulldog approach which has been found wanting. Consider, too, that in contrast to a series of infamous escapades earlier in his career, Ferdinand has also shown in recent seasons that he possesses a new-found sense of maturity' - The Daily Express.
Why So Serious?
Even after eight months in the job, it remains unclear whether Fabio Capello now understands that the English take the identity of their captain far more seriously than the Italians. It is also unclear whether he has realised that if Fleet Street hates one thing above all others, it is being proved wrong. Hopelessly, hopelessly wrong.
If the decision to reappoint John Terry as captain over strong favourite Rio Ferdinand was met unfavourably by the nation's football supporters then their indignation paled alongside that of the fourth estate.
Presumably someone at the FA realised that Capello had put himself on a dangerous collision course with Fleet Street yesterday because the press conference called to unveil the new armband-wearer was called to a halt after just 12 minutes. Official records do not exist for such matters but it is nonetheless believed to be the shortest-ever conference in history with the exception of Steve McClaren's "You write what you want" meet-and-walk-out two years ago.
The void of explanation has, predictably, been filled by plenty of righteous irritation at Terry's appointment. Even the broadsheets have joined in the chorus, with The Daily Telegraph pompously announcing as its back-page headline that there was 'unease at the FA over Capello's decision' and chief hack Henry Winter complaining: 'Capello appears to have given Terry the armband because he shouts a lot, because the coach is keen to get his message through to nervous players, and because the Italian's good friend, Luiz Felipe Scolari, rates his Chelsea leader highly.'
Nor were the assembled hacks impressed with the difficulty they encountered attempting to interrogate the Italian.
'Like a footballer who spends his close-season indulging himself and returns out of shape, so this summer Capello has allowed his hitherto improving grasp of the English language to become flabby and sluggish,' thundered The Independent's Sam Wallace. 'No-one would blame him for wanting to spend his holidays as far away as possible from the dreadful weather in London but unfortunately the result yesterday was that no-one knew what he was talking about.'
In fairness, it has to be accepted that Capello has failed to deliver on his promise, made almost ten months ago, that he would be fluent in English in a month. Yet Mediawatch can't help but suspect that such criticism would have been non-existent had Capello delivered the news that Fleet Street had promised.
Fabio, beware. The knives are being sharpened.
Against The Tide
From F365's Quotes of The Week:
'"I didn't know the English were good at swimming. I have been in this country for 12 years and I haven't seen a swimming pool" - Arsene Wenger expresses his surprise at the gold rush in Beijing.'
From Arsenal.com's description of the London Colney Training centre:
'Manager Arsène Wenger was a key figure in the development of the present Training Centre. In fact, the contents and layout of the building were almost entirely decided by Arsène and his backroom staff. As well as the excellent pitches, indoors the facility boasts six changing rooms, a steamroom, a swimming pool with adjustable floor, gymnasium, treatment rooms, massage baths, and restaurant.'
A Matter Of Taste
Congratulations to Cristiano Ronaldo, declared yesterday the winner of the prestigious 'gay icon of the year' award. Explaining why Ronaldo had triumphed over such candidates as Judy Garland, Elton John and Liza Minnelli, a spokesman for gaygolddiggers announced: "Ronaldo's ripped body, slicked-back hair, shiny white teeth and jewellery swung the votes his way. He looks like any gay man or woman's dream."
Not that everyone shares their admiration, however. The latest edition of ManYoo fanzine Red Issue has warmed up for the new campaign by branding their former favourite as a a "preening, perma-tanned, posturing, petulant prick".
Go Figure
From The Guardian:
'Roy Keane is targeting Fulham's David Healy, West Ham United's Anton Ferdinand and Blackburn Rovers' Benni McCarthy as the Sunderland manager seeks to reinforce his attack and defence before the transfer window closes and hopes to complete three signings by September 1. Of that quartet...'
Celebration Of The Day
'There have been scenes of joy in Nigeria after their Olympic football team reached the finals in China. The footballers beat Belgium 4-1 and will face Argentina on Saturday. When Nigeria scored the fourth goal, policemen in the capital's police headquarters celebrated so loudly the building shook' - The BBC.
Video Clip Summary Of The Day
'A news crew was on Fort Lauderdale beach when a huge gust of wind from Fay blew down the beach and took the kite boarder by surprise. The kite boarder was harnessed into his sail when the wind violently picked him up and slammed him onto the sandy beach. Then, he was dragged across the sand before being lifted up into the air again and blown across the street where the wind slammed him into a building. Witnesses ran to help the unidentified kite surfer who lay crumpled on the ground in pain.'
Quote Of The Day
"I trained hard all over the summer and the main thing I was feeling, which was the groin, is in great shape now" - Lee Hughes.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'The BBC's Children in Need gave £20,000 raised by the general public to fund the 7/7 bombers, it emerged last night. The cash was given to an Islamic bookshop operated by bombers Mohammed Siddique Khan and Shehzad Tanweer who spent it on propaganda videos glorifying Jihad. It also funded computers, gym equipment and the notorious rafting trip to North Wales made by the pair a month before the attacks on London in 2005, which killed 52 and maimed hundreds' - The Daily Mail.
Runner-Up
'A juror who turned amateur detective and began his own investigation into the manslaughter case he was hearing has caused the trial to be abandoned. The case at Newcastle Crown Court involved an 18-year-old student accused of causing the death of Raymond Quigley, 72, a taxi driver who suffered a heart attack during a struggle over an unpaid fare.
'On the sixth day of the trial Judge David Hodson was handed a three-page list by the jury, containing 37 questions about the case, with maps attached. Further inquiries revealed that one of the 12 jurors, a middle-aged man, had been carrying out his own investigation into the case.
'He had been to the death scene and taken photographs, measured a fence that was at the heart of the evidence and researched forensic science techniques on the internet. The man discussed his findings with fellow jurors in the court canteen before they asked for their questions to be forwarded to the judge. These included requests for recordings of interviews as well as information about mobile phone records, bank statements, DNA tests and even the clothing that the defendant was wearing at the time of the incident - The Times.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters: Bunmi Sowande, Nick Stafford, Andy Summers, Vinod Ganesh. If you spot something that belongs on this page, mail theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
