Mediawatch

Keeping Tabs
Cristiano Ronaldo's agents must be living it up these days. We imagine they're bathing in Cristal, wiping their bottoms on raw silk and directing their newly-acquired team of flunkies to fetch them a new diamond, because this one is dirty.

They've done a cracking job of taking care of their man in terms of moolah, but they don't seem to be doing such a tip-top job keeping track of the pink-hotpanted one.

The GestiFute (which sounds more like a lady hygiene product to us) agency issued the following indignant statement yesterday, in response to alleged quotes given by the Hilton humper to The News Of The World:

'Given the insistent manner in which the quotes allegedly belonging to Cristiano Ronaldo have been made public, especially in the British media, Gestifute reiterates what we had recently announced: Cristiano Ronaldo has been in silence since he has been on holiday and all the statements are totally false and abusive.

'The best player in the world - who is now resting in the company of his family - has not given, to date, any interview, nor will he in the following days.

'Any quotes linked to him lack veracity and authenticity, so they should not be taken too seriously.'

So presumably the following words reported by The Press Association should not be taken terribly seriously...

"As I've already said in every interview. Real Madrid is the club in which I've always wanted to play. It will be good to play with Kaka, a player who was the Ballon d'Or, the best in the world, but also with Raul, (Iker) Casillas and Guti.

"If I'm allowed, now I want to rest, because the negotiations are still not concluded. I want to start pre-season well, that's what I really want. The truth is that I'm eager to start."

Of course the PA could have simply made this up. They could have fabricated the quotes, picked them from thin air.

Or they could have watched - as Mediawatch did - Ronaldo give what looked suspiciously like an interview on Sky Sports News last night.

He's a slippery character.


'She Wasn't Wearing Any Knickers!'
Speaking of everyone's least favourite greaseball, one of the notches on his bedpost has been talking to The Daily Star.

Ronaldo's former beau Nereida Gallardo said of his latest (apparent) horizontal aerobics partner Paris Hilton: "She's just another shag, a fling, one of many to pass through his bed. They say she wasn't wearing any knickers. She's quite astonishing. Every week another girl comes along talking about him. After dumping me I don't know how many there have been. Eighty thousand?"

Her righteous indignation about Ms Hilton's (lack of) undercrackers might be slightly easier to take if she wasn't pictured on the opposite page sans pants herself, but it was the following appraisal that got us rubbing our eyes.

"They are totally different because she sells her life and he is the opposite, he's always wanted to stay out of the press," she said.

Erm, what?


Rippling, But Not In A Good Way
Now, we know The Daily Star is a 'paper' rather prone to hyperbole and exaggeration of the facts. Hell, sometimes we would even go so far as to suggest that they make s**t up and expect their slightly less-than cerebral readership to swallow it whole.

However, their account of Frank Lampard's first holiday as a single man (Las Vegas, natch) is really taking things too far, and surely not even the grunts that shell out 20p every day will believe their latest nonsense.

They 'report': 'Frank was also a success with the ladies by the pool. Toned and tanned...'

Come on lads - pull the other one.


Problems
The Daily Mail's Sports Agenda column is usually an annoyingly good source of rumour from the more serious side of sport.

However, scribe Charles Sale has - as tabloid journalists are often prone - gone overboard on occasion.

He writes today about ESPN's acquisition of Setanta's Premier League matches for next season: 'Disney-owned sports TV network ESPN, who have been circling the Premier League throughout the Setanta crisis, dived in last night to buy up all the available live match action for the next four years...

'ESPN have probably paid slightly less than Setanta did - but the shortfall has been made up by the £40m advance the PL have already collected from the Irish sports subscription channel, who are spiralling into administration.'

However, that's not always the impression Mr Sale has given.

Cut back to June 10, when Setanta were on their last legs. Sale wrote then:

'English football is on the verge of a giant financial crisis this morning, with troubled sports subscription network Setanta fighting for its life.

'The shock waves from Setanta's switch-off will reverberate throughout the professional game from the FA, who now face a £100million black hole in their budget, to the Premier League and down to the Blue Square Premier, all of whom will have serious problems finding buyers at a competitive price for their lost TV contracts.'

Not quite so problematic, as it turned out. Especially if you believe The Guardian's assessment of the deal: 'ESPN is believed to have matched the £159m Setanta paid for the right to screen 23 Premier League games each season from 2010 onwards.'


Punting
From the transfer blog on Setanta.com on Monday:

'11.00: Tevez looking City bound? They've been favourites for a while. Good news for me who has backed him at 6/1 to head to Eastlands.'

Hope you put enough on to tide you over for a while, chief?


'We Prayed This Was Done With' Story Of The Day
'The Premier League will closely scrutinise any potential transfer of Carlos Tevez once the striker's contract with Manchester United expires on 30 June - when formal negotiations can commence over his future - to ensure there is no element of any third-party agreement in the deal, as one of British football's most convoluted sagas is finally set to end...

'The Premier League changed its rules last June to outlaw any third-party element ever again being included in a player's contract in the top flight of domestic football. Since entering English football in the summer of 2006, when moving to Upton Park from the Brazilian club Corinthians, Tevez's career has been complicated by his economic rights being owned by the consortium which was formerly fronted by Kia Joorabchian, the Anglo-Iranian businessman who now acts as the Argentina forward's adviser' - The Guardian.

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Bolivian TV channel PAT has been left looking a bit daft after broadcasting extraordinary images of the last moments of Air France flight 447, lost over the Atlantic on 1 June. According to the report, the snaps were retrieved from a recovered Casio Z750, which was subsequently traced via the serial number to its owner - "Paulo G. Muller, an actor from a well-known children's theatre on the outskirts of Porto Alegre".

'In fact, the camera can be traced to ABC Studios and sharp-eyed readers will notice that the photographs feature well-known actress Evangeline Lilly, aka Kate Austen from TV series Lost. PAT has fallen hook, line and sinker for a hoax email, and to add to its embarrassment, has failed to appreciate that while the flight 447 disaster occurred at night, the images represent the daytime fictional break-up of Oceanic Flight 815' - The Register.


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotter: Brian Rooney. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting Mediawatch in the subject field.