Mediawatch

Changing Storries
"I asked Paul to accept the role as Pompey's manager shortly after I was appointed chairman. I continue to have great confidence in Paul's ability to steer the club through the challenges ahead" - Peter Storrie, September 9.

"How can you say Paul will not remain manager after that performance?" - Peter Storrie after Portsmouth's 1-0 loss to Everton, September 28.

"I knew the first question Paul would ask me was 'Is my job safe?' And the new owner insists he is delighted with the job Paul has done. He wants continuity in terms of what is going on at the club. Where he wants to make changes is with the structure of the board. He is quite happy with the football side, which has looked quite promising over the last couple of weeks" - Peter Storrie, October 8.

"There have been campaigns to get Paul out but he has ridden above all that, as we have as a club, because we know he has been doing a great job" - Peter Storrie, November 3.

"Paul has worked under very difficult circumstances with the financial restrictions the club has faced since he took over. However, the board feels that the team should have accrued more points to date and that we need a new man in charge to ensure Premier League survival" - Peter Storrie, November 24.


A Winty's Tale
Strapped for cash? Looking to escape the credit crunch by maybe dabbling in the stock market, or gambling? Then we don't advise asking Sarah Winterburn, F365's soothsayer-in-chief, for any short-term predictions.

From her 'Sack Race' feature, posted at 14.34 yesterday: 'Although Portsmouth are bottom of the table, there have been few mumblings from club or fans that Hart should be sacrificed...Hart will stay as long as Portsmouth are in touch, so looking at that fixture list, a win over Burnley is essential.'

Still, she's better at forward planning than her neighbours, who want to get rid of their recently-acquired kitten on the basis that they've just realised they're 'not cat people'.




Dodgy Deals
"You look at the signings the gaffer made at Wigan and, to be honest, I thought they were all good," says sensible Lee Cattermole after Dave Whelan's suggestion that Steve Bruce made some 'dodgy' signings before he left Wigan for Sunderland.

Do you really think they were all good, Lee?

Even £2m Ben Watson, now on loan at QPR? Or £3.5m Olivier Kapo? Or £500,000 for Erik 'worst 90 minutes in the history of the Premier League' Edman? Or the deal of the century - £5m for Marlon King.

Different Scholes Of Thought
'Scholes's detractors could point to his early retirement from the England team at the age of 29...' writes Mark Ogden in the Daily Telegraph as he fawns over 'Player of the Decade' Paul Scholes.

No, Mark, Scholes's detractors will point out that in 15 years of top-flight football the Ginger One has steadfastly failed to learn how to tackle.


The Brave One?
A banner headline in the Daily Mirror this morning sparked an anger in Mediawatch usually reserved for light jazz. Heading a story about Carlo Cudicini taking his first steps since his motorbike smash were the words 'The Courage Of Carlo'.

Now, Mediawatch has no idea whether Cudicini is brave or not, but this matters not to headline writers everywhere, who routinely describe anyone famous who suffers from any kind of injury as 'brave', 'courageous' or a 'hero'. No, fellas and ladies, they're simply 'injured'. It could and does happen to lots of folk every single day.



Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A MAN who flashed two teenage girls in Albury's Botanic Gardens told police he was 'airing' his penis because he had a rash. Anthony Hadfield claimed he was not masturbating and had been unaware of people passing him in the park' - The Border Mail, who point out later in the article that Hadfield was 'airing' a seemingly erect penis.

Quote Of The Day
"When you play Sam Allardyce's team, it is like Tony Pulis's. He doesn't like the team to keep the ball. It is two passes and then you play forward" - Abdoulaye Faye reveals Stoke's complex tactical plan.

Worst Headlines Of The Day
We cannot separate the Daily Record's double whammy of 'Achdung' and 'It's All Over For Walt's Herrbrains'.


Thanks to nobody at all today, you lazy buggers. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.