Gather round the fire people, we've got a tale to tell. We're about to tell you something so outstandingly outlandish, so maverick and so remarkable, so brace yourself; the papers often get it wrong. Here are our favourite transfer stories churned out by Fleet Street this summer...
* 'Arsenal are hoping to capitalise on the unfolding chaos at Manchester City by preparing a summer bid for Michael Johnson, the England Under-21 midfield player' - The Times, May 1.
* 'Manchester United will sit down with Wigan next week to thrash out an £8million deal for Wilson Palacios. SunSport revealed last month Alex Ferguson had targeted Honduras ace Palacios and his Latics' Ecuador team-mate Luis Antonio Valencia' - The Sun, May 7.
* 'Liverpool have made a shock move to sign Chelsea winger Florent Malouda for around £10million. Preliminary talks with Malouda's people have been positive enough to convince Kop boss Rafa Benitez the player will leave' - The Sun, May 15.
* 'Frank Lampard will move to Inter Milan for £7million after tomorrow's Champions League final. Lampard has agreed a £28m four-year contract with the Italian side, after weeks of agonising following the death of his mother Pat' - Daily Express, May 20.
* 'Sir Alex Ferguson has told the Manchester United board he wants to conclude his £50million summer transfer spending within the next fortnight. Top of Fergie's wanted list are Sevilla's Brazilian duo, striker Luis Fabiano and defender Daniel Alves, who are likely to cost United a combined £30million' - The Daily Mirror, May 27.
* 'Richard Dunne is set to spark more upheaval at Manchester City by completing a £5million move to Tottenham, as Sven-Goran Eriksson's protracted departure continues to rumble on' - The Daily Telegraph, May 30.
* 'Manchester City will battle Chelsea all the way to land Ronaldinho. City were close to sealing a deal for the Barcelona playmaker - but Luiz Felipe Scolari has thrown a spanner in the works by becoming the new Chelsea manager' - The Sun, June 14.
* 'Cristiano Ronaldo has confided to friends that he is prepared to do 'whatever it takes' to engineer a transfer to Real Madrid this summer. Manchester United maintain that they will not sell their most prized asset under any circumstances, but Ronaldo is dismissive of his club's views and regards his planned world-record transfer to Real as an inevitability' - The Times, June 17.
* 'Rafael Benítez has targeted the Valencia midfielder David Silva for a summer move to Liverpool providing he can raise the funds necessary to prise the Spain international from the Mestalla' - The Guardian, June 20.
* 'Juande Ramos has joined the bidding for Peter Crouch and is ready to launch a £15million double offer for the unsettled Liverpool striker and his team-mate Yossi Benayoun' - The Daily Mail, June 25.
* 'Arsenal are preparing to make a surprise move for Liverpool striker Peter Crouch as a replacement for AC Milan-bound Emmanuel Adebayor' - The Daily Mail, June 26.
* 'Villa boss Martin O'Neill is set to make a shock swoop for Celtic's former Wolves full-back Lee Naylor as he seeks to provide cover for Dutch international Wilfred Bouma' - Birmingham Mail, July 2.
* 'Spurs striker Darren Bent was last night in talks with Sunderland after the two clubs agreed a £10million fee for the England forward' - Daily Mirror, July 2.
* 'Chelsea and England full-back Wayne Bridge is on the verge of joining Harry Redknapp's Portsmouth, five years after leaving south-coast rivals Southampton' - The Daily Telegraph, July 15.
* 'Chelsea appear set to sign the Milan playmaker Kaka for aworld-record €100m (£79.3m) after discussions took place this week, with both clubs and the Brazil international keen for a deal to go through. Sources at Stamford Bridge have confirmed that Chelsea are targeting the 26-year-old andit is understood that Milan are inclined to accept a bid of €100m tabled this week' - The Observer, July 19.
* 'Gareth Barry's transfer to Liverpool finally looks like going through after the Anfield club came up with the money to secure his move from Aston Villa. The longest-running saga of the summer has reached a confusing climax after an earlier statement that he was staying at Villa Park. Sportsmail understands that the mix-up was due to a deadline being missed by 20 minutes, and the transfer will finally be concluded on Thursday' - The Mail on Sunday, July 31.
* 'Cristiano Ronaldo is going to personally deliver a blunt demand to Alex Ferguson next week: 'Let me go to Spain.'' - The Sun, August 1.
* 'Villa are also seeking a midfield player and a left back,although Nicky Shorey, the Reading defender, is more likely to go to Sunderland or Portsmouth' - The Times, August 5.
* 'West Ham United have turned down an offer of £15m from Tottenham for the striker Dean Ashton. The east London club have insisted that Ashton is not for sale yet Tottenham, who are preparing for life without Dimitar Berbatov, believe that a bid closer to £20m might force their hand' - The Guardian, August 6.
* 'Chelsea midfielder Joe Cole could make a shock move to Liverpool after becoming unsettled at Stamford Bridge by the arrival of Deco and the club's pursuit of Robinho - The Daily Telegraph, August 16.
* 'Real Madrid striker Robinho will move to Chelsea this week for £31million. The clubs agreed the fee yesterday after hours of intensive talks. The Brazilian is expected to fly to London in the next 48 hours to sign a fiveyear deal worth £120,00 a week' - The Daily Mirror, August 26.
And A Special Section For Alan Nixon Of The Daily Mirror/The People
* 'Sir Alex Ferguson is ready to take advantage of the chaos at Manchester City with a stunning move to sign England starlet Micah Richards' - The People, May 4.
* 'Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp is ready to rescue John Arne Riise from his Liverpool misery' - The People, May 4 (busy day).
* 'Newcastle United want to sack jailed Joey Barton - or force him to take a massive drop in wages' - The People, June 8.
* 'Bolton Wanderers boss Gary Megson is ready to rescue Joey Barton from his Newcastle United nightmare with a season-long loan deal' - The People, June 15.
* 'Everton boss David Moyes is making a shock move for Tottenham's misfit striker Darren Bent - as he gets ready to sell Andy Johnson' - The Daily Mirror, June 23.
* 'Sunderland boss Roy Keane wants £10million-rated ace Andy Johnson from Everton - after pulling out of the £12m chase for Tottenham's Darren Bent' - The People, July 6.
* 'Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill is planning a double deal to shore up his defence. He is chasing Wigan's Austrian star Paul Scharner and Manchester United youngster Danny Simpson after a frustrating summer in the transfer market' - The People, July 20.
* 'Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is making a late move for Switzerland Euro 2008 star Goekhan Inler - and is fighting Newcastle United for his signature' - The People, July 27.
* 'Everton boss David Moyes will end his search for a striker by signing Brazilian hitman Vagner Love from CSKA Moscow in the next 48 hours' - The People, August 10.
* 'Lassana Diarra will sign for Tottenham tomorrow if cashstrapped Portsmouth fail to offload a number of squad players' - The People, August 31.
* 'Wigan boss Steve Bruce snapped up Manchester United's young striker Frazier Campbell in a shock deal last night - from under the noses of Hull City' - The Daily Mirror, September 2.
NM & PG
Your Comments
chrisspeet
"Hold on a minute, that bloke from the Mirror put a story in the paper on September the 2nd saying that Frazer Campbell was going to Wigan not Hull? So he wrote that the day after it was announced he was going on a season long loan to Spurs as part of the Berbatov deal? It is one thing printing a rumour but that's just taking the p**s."
HollowayHarry
"Taimuramin you silly man you! That was a ploy by redface to put Wigan, and more specifically Palacios off his stride on that all to play for last day of the season. Just like the Berbatov saga UTD really show what a classless bunch they are."
geo1978
"TerminalDecline - you're right. He even admitted it later, didn't he? Isn't that some kind of pseudo-tapping up?"
Thecolonel
"the sun, mail and mirror are 3 newspapers that are barely fit to wipe your arse on. if you actually believe a word they say on anything, then you're as stupid as the journalists that write them"
EssexLad1985
"If it wernt for the papers blindly guessing at transfers us Arsenal fans would never hear a thing about who we might sign."
anfielder
"Oh dear, with a week and a half to go until Premiership action resumes, I guess there'll be endless analysis and re-analysis of what did or did not happen over the transfer window. Enough with the same info being re-jigged into several articles ; we'll know well enough which club / player got it right by leaving / not leaving and who the losers are a few games down the road. C'mon you Reds ! Steph, Singapore"
taimuramin
"Was thoroughly looking forward to Palacios moving to Man Utd. What a coup that would have been! Fantastic player, was great last season, was an absolute revelation against chelsea just a few days ago. Looks like Titus Bramble but dont be fooled! Wouldn't have been a needless signing either. I do feel Man Utd are a bit light in midfield. Hargreaves will be mostly out this season, Scholesy is just not as consistent as he used to be, plus he likes doing things more with his hands than he does with his feet (just couldn't resist :p, cant help but love scholesy), anderson is still very much a student, I like carrick a lot with all his silky passes and what not, but i prefer my central midfielders to be hawkish rather than dovish. Palacios would have been perfect, he'd have also taken off that pressure Rooney takes upon himself to track back (no further comments about that). But oh well, i guess we'll just have to make do with Dimi this season. "
TerminalDecline
""* 'Manchester United will sit down with Wigan next week to thrash out an £8million deal for Wilson Palacios. SunSport revealed last month Alex Ferguson had targeted Honduras ace Palacios and his Latics' Ecuador team-mate Luis Antonio Valencia' - The Sun, May 7"... ...not so much a case of Fleet Street getting it wrong as ferguson deliberately trying to unsettle players 4 days before the Wigan - Man United match on May 11th "
CapeTownScouser
"Why do we even bother reading there rags. If I got things so wrong at work, people would lose all their pensions and Id be out on my ass"
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