F365 Features

Either they do things VERY differently in America, or Landon Donovan has just become the awesomest soccer player around.

His full frontal assault on England's very own David Beckham is unparalleled in recent memory. Not for Landon the traditional closed-shop, not-in-front-of-the-servants footballer discretion when asked about a superstar foreigner who clearly thinks it's all a bit beneath him (e.g. "Fabrizio's a brilliant example for the young lads" translation: "Fabrizio came to training just that one time and let us have a go in his Lamborghini, and then tried to charge us 100 Euros each for the privilege").

Landon has broken with tradition by saying exactly what he thinks about his more celebrated team-mate. In this era of media training, of interviews being carefully policed by PRs and corporate sponsors and of footballers being boring dullards, you simply don't read enough quotes like this one:

"I don't see dedication or commitment to this team...Let's say he (Becky) does stay here for three more years: I'm not going to spend the next three years of my life doing it this way. This is f****** miserable. I don't want to have soccer be this way."

Who knows to what extent Landon has taken the bitch because Derek has stolen his thunder as the Galaxy top earner and poster boy? He's only human, after all. But let's take Landon at face value in his role as a concerned senior pro.

He obviously feels aggrieved that 'The Beckham Experiment' (the title of the book from which these quotes have been picked up) has failed spectacularly. The idea of bringing in a superstar whose contribution on the pitch was secondary to the razzmatazz and shirt sales he would generate has left the host club, and its players of mere functionary status, looking (and feeling) like idiots.

And how we laughed at the silly Americans, who in their greed and naivety, had picked up this white elephant with the perfect teeth and the too-tight underpants. But, really, is it so different from the transfer policy of Real Madrid - hang the expense, think about the merchandise sales?

Real Madrid are spending the summer gloating about how they have secured the finest footballers known to humanity, and indeed perhaps they have. But will there be a trade-off in terms of cohesion and team unity, incumbent noses put out of joint like the LA Galaxy? Admittedly, Ronaldo probably won't be swanning off on loan to Milan for a few months a la Becks, but other players at the club might not find his personality as "infectious" (as Sir described it on the ManYoo website - is that like yeast infectious?) as all that.

So this big-ticket policy, in fact, is already a tried and busted method. The club's last attempt to assemble a team in that sort of two-tier system - your Zidanes and your Figos and your The Real Ronaldos on the one hand, your kids and water carriers on the other - was not a total success. It turned out, with the benefit of hindsight, that the key man in that line-up was not Zizou, but rather dear old Claude Makélélé.

And when David Beckham - unwanted again, poor old Becky - turned up at the club the year Makélélé was sold, it was Zizou who remarked: "Why put another layer of gold paint on the Bentley when you are losing the entire engine?"

So maybe Landon's superb outburst illustrates more than just one very goddamm pissed American: adding star players is not necessarily all its cracked up to be, especially if they are perceived to be lording it over the rank and file. Man United and Liverpool have reason to fear their Spanish rivals' new acquisitions, but it certainly doesn't mean that the Champions League is all over before its begun.

Alan Tyers