Fun Features

There's a slight weakness up front but we're still not desperate enough to give Jason Lee a call-up. But there's a cracking centre-half parnership that doesn't even leave room for Joleon Lescott...

Goalkeeper: Jens Lehmann
Mental he may be, but Lehmann was a fine goalkeeper on his day - like the FA Cup final day in 2005 or pretty much all the days Arsenal played Champions League football on the road to the 2006 final, except the final itself. There were other days like the ones at the start of the 2007/08 season when he was a bit rubbish but generally he was pretty good in most of the 147 Premier League games he played for Arsenal. And he earns extra points for being the arch-rival of the uber-German Oliver Kahn.

Right-back: Lauren
Two Premier League titles and three FA Cups in less than seven years is a record that keeps Oleg Luzhny and Des Lyttle out of this L team. The Gunners' right-back successor to Lee Dixon, Lauren will always be fondly remembered by Arsenal fans for two reasons - a) he was a key part of the Invincibles side and b) he didn't half lay into Ruud van Nistelrooy during the so-called Battle of Old Trafford. And he did it with a little more dignity than Martin Keown.

Centre-back: Martin Laursen
Had the Dane stayed upright last season, there would be a very good chance indeed that Villa would be preparing for their first Champions League campaign. Laursen was absolutely phenomenal when fit and the fact that he managed less than 100 league games in five years for Villa before retirement is a massive shame for both the club and English football. Has joins Paul McGrath and Olof Mellberg in the ranks of genuine Villa defensive legends.

Centre-back: Frank Leboeuf
"I've won the World Cup," was the refrain from the Frenchman who was deeply unpopular by the end of his five-year spell at Chelsea. F365 readers actually clubbed together to try and pay for Leboeuf's ferry back to France in 2001, such was his standing amongst non-Chelsea fans. But he had been really rather good as a centre-half partner for Marcel Desailly in a Blues side that were thrilling to watch as they won four cups in four years, and that keeps him ahead of Joleon Lescott for us.

Left-back: Graeme Le Saux
It's easy to forget the football when talking about the Jerseyman and concentrate on the Robbie Fowler-inspired Arse-gate, the shirt thrown to the ground, the homosexualist rumours or the punch-off with teammate David Batty. But we like to concentrate on what's important here at F365 - Le Saux's first-round exit in this year's Dancing on Ice. Oh, and the fact that he was English football's finest left-back before the emergence of Ashley Cole.

Right Wing: Freddie Ljungberg
From one stringently heterosexual footballer to another...the ugly pant-model arrived at Arsenal in 1998 after Arsene Wenger watched him play for Sweden against England on the television and was suitably impressed. The Swede enjoyed several good years at Arsenal but none were better than the double-winning season of 2001-02 when Ljungberg scored 17 goals in all competitions. He's the 11th best Arsenal player in history and the Third Best Looking Male Athlete in the World, apparently. We wonder which means more.

Central Midfield: Frank Lampard
We've had more fun than Jordan with Frank Lampard over the years, but history will record Lampard as one of the best all-round midfielders to grace the English game. We're not going so far as to agree with Jose Mourinho - second-best player in the world, our collective arses - but we concede that he's pretty handy. Six consecutive seasons of double figures in terms of league goals and four consecutive seasons of 20-plus goals in all competitions have helped Chelsea to two titles, four domestic cups and a Champions League final. Still fat though.

Central Midfield: Rob Lee
Best Midfielder In Britain said Kevin Keegan when Lee was in his pomp as part of that Entertainers side - most of whom are appearing on these alphabetical lists as we remember them through rose-tinted spectacles. Lee was great though - as a thrusting, attacking midfielder and then as a defensive midfielder as his legs started to show their age. Edges Oyvind Leonhardsen and Neil Lennon out of this lovely list.

Left Wing: Aaron Lennon
After a season in which we suspected Lennon had plateaud, the little fella was back with a bang last season - flourishing under Harry Redknapp to become Spurs' stand-out performer as they battled against relegation and clambered up the league. Can look all speedy legs and no end product but Lennon has upped his game and is still only 22. Three times nominated as PFA Young Player of the Year, Lennon is back on the England radar but most importantly - we suspect - we think he's one of the best wingers with a surname beginning with L ever to play in the Premier League. He will be chuffed.

In The Hole: Matt Le Tissier
Last seen in the Dictionary Corner of Countdown, Le Tissier is Le God in Southampton, where he played a grand total of 540 games in all competitions and scored 209 goals. A massive 47 of those goals were penalties and he only ever missed one - Mark Crossley pulling off the save that spoilt the perfect record. A hero to every true football fan, he was louche, he was lazy, he was slightly fat, but he was absolutely bloody brilliant. Oh and he somehow shagged that fit bird from Home and Away despite being even uglier than Ljungberg.

Striker: Jari Litmanen
You may have guessed by now that there's a slight weakness in this L side. We opted for Litmanen despite his underwhelming spell at Liverpool because a) he didn't really get a chance because of the Heskey/Owen partnership, b) he's better than Lomano Lua Lua or Jason Lee and c) we really rather like him. So there.

Sarah Winterburn