Suffice to say that the French media are not too impressed with Dimitri Payet. The chubster.
It's the sort of honesty you have to appreciate, as Dimitri Payet admits he was "a d**head" at West Ham.
John Aldridge suggested Virgil van Dijk go on strike to force Saints to sell him to Liverpool. So...
Joey Barton does not accept that N'Golo Kante is the best midfielder in the world. Who's better?
Payet explains that Slaven Bilic's tactics left him wanting to leave West Ham. This is actually a great interview.
It doesn't tie him to the club, it doesn't mean he's staying and it doesn't mean he loves you...
Dimitri Payet didn't talk to any of his team-mates for the "last six or eight weeks", insists David Sullivan.
Dimitri Payet does not owe West Ham fans an apology, says manager Slaven Bilic.
Dimitri Payet does not feel the need to justify his behaviour to West Ham fans. So there.
David Sullivan wanted to keep Dimitri Payet at West Ham to "make an example of him".
West Ham have agreed a £25million fee with Marseille for the sale of Dimitri Payet...
That's a lot of money for a Wayne Rooney. Plus, updates on Dimitri Payet's situation. Lovely.
Rio Ferdinand has launched a scathing attack on West Ham rebel Dimitri Payet.
After bids of £20m and £22m, Marseille's next offer was for £22.86m. Cheeky buggers.
Real Madrid are prepared to pay £50m for Dele Alli, Payet to Nice or PSG and Costa to cost £130m.
Have Marseille given up? Or have they lodged a new £26m bid? Plus Silva, Nasri and Townsend updates.
'Arry's mate was going to call his horse 'We've got Payet'. Redknapp said to call it 'We had Payet'.
The common theme is Bilic will "leave it to the chairman". Because it worked so well before.
...or any other player for that matter. Cohen Bramall might just be the only arrival.
Monday's meeting with Marseille did not last long. West Ham have thrown out a second bid.
David Gold asks whether it is "time to close the January window". No signings for West Ham, then...
West Ham captain Mark Noble sends Dimitri Payet to his room and grounds him for a month.
"I don't think any player is bigger than the club," Carroll said. You can't say Big Andy doesn't care...
It's a pretty unequivocal message from West Ham on the want-away Frenchman.
But the West Ham CEO admits that 'sooner rather than later' he will go.
A cracking Friday morning Mailbox, with thoughts on West Ham, Payet, Graham Taylor, Lincoln and more
New Lingard deal, Evra to Crystal Palace, Payet to Chelsea and plenty more besides...
Slaven Bilic is determined to solve the Dimitri Payet "puzzle" after West Ham's star man asked to leave.
'We've got Payet. I just don't think you understand.' You might not for much longer...
The plot thickens. Slaven Bilic reckons a club has probably "tapped up" Dimitri Payet.
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