Evra is 36, banned for seven months and, y'know, just kicked a fan in the face. Might as well retire.
Because nothing quite says 'we disagree with your actions' like the unfurling of a banner. Poor Patrice.
"As a professional and experienced player, Patrice Evra could not respond in such an inappropriate way."
UEFA have opened disciplinary proceedings while Marseille have hit out at 'pseudo-supporters'...
Say ooh, ahh, Ev-er-ra, saay ooh ahh Ev-er-ra. He's only gone and done a Cantona...
Evra is "scared" that Paul Pogba's image will come before his football, like he says Beckham's did.
New Lingard deal, Evra to Crystal Palace, Payet to Chelsea and plenty more besides...
Oxlade-Chamberlain to Liverpool, Evra to West Ham and an old man convention at Swansea
As Henrikh Mkhitaryan continues in his attempts to adapt to the English game, we give him some encouragement...
That Gary Neville celebration, that goal from Eric Cantona, that red card. There have been a few 'moments'.
Harry Kane for one, but also Patrice Evra and Mario Gotze. How much will coaches twist over stick?
With Remi joining the Aston Villa Garde, we list the Prem's top 10 French imports. Plenty of Arsenal.
Patrice Evra says Fergie promised he would stay another five years and that Ronaldo would re-join in 2013.
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