With most of the Premier League's top half needing a new striker this summer, Daniel Storey takes a look at the probable names on expensive shopping lists...
With the title races in both England and Spain looking like they might go right to the wire, Daniel Storey gives you his top ten title finishes. Think final day madness and mayhem...
10. Jack Charlton
The heat of the American summer was the perfect setting for a series of Irish meltdowns at World Cup 1994 as a red-faced Jack Charlton raged in the burning Florida sun. While Ireland battled to a 1-0 win over Italy in their opening game, Charlton lost his cool on the touchline, claiming that FIFA officials were preventing him from giving water bottles to his players. Sepp Blatter, then FIFA's general secretary, responded that "it was no coincidence that the only manager to complain was the one from Ireland...there is no problem and he should stop complaining". But Charlton wasn't finished, and flared up again alongside John Aldridge when the striker was stopped from coming on as a substitute by FIFA observer Mustafa Fahmy in the 2-1 defeat to Mexico. Charlton was fined and banned from the touchline for the match against Norway, with FIFA concluding: 'Jack is a crazy man, we like him and we need characters in the game but he must learn where to draw the line.'
9. Sir Alex Ferguson
"Youse are all f**king idiots," is how Sir Alex Ferguson revealed his special brand of contempt for the English press in 2002 as he jumped to the defence of then record signing Juan Sebastian Veron. With Veron struggling to make an impression in United's midfield - or so the papers thought - his contribution was queried with Ferguson at a press conference before Manchester United's clash with Arsenal. "He is a f***ing great player," responded Ferguson in what the Guardian described as a 'volcanic eruption of temper'. "And you're all f**king idiots." United lost at home to Arsenal the next day - a result which saw the Gunners clinch the title - with Veron subbed mid-way through the second half.
8. Paul Ince
The FA's report on Paul Ince's foul-mouthed tirade at officials that saw him banned for five matches earlier this season included the claim that he used the c-word an impressive 15 times - and this was after Blackpool had beaten Bournemouth 2-1. Ince was aggrieved that 'the busy f**ker of fourth (official)' had informed the referee when he threw a water bottle in frustration that bounced up and hit a steward. "I'll knock you f****** out, you c***," Ince reportedly shouted, with referee Oliver Langford adding that Ince's eyes were 'bulging' as stewards dragged him away. Still, Blackpool fans stuck by the manager, with thousands of them turning up in Ince masks to show their support at the following home game.
7. Oleg Blokhin
Standing up to criticism is one thing, asking a journalist outside is quite another. But that's exactly what Oleg Blokhin decided to do following Ukraine's 1-0 defeat to England at Euro 2012 - a failure so embarrassing it was seemingly worthy of Ukrainian fighting Ukrainian in utter disgust at losing to the Three Lions. "Respect my job," said Blokhin to a journalist he felt was becoming personal with his line of enquiry. "Let's go this one on one. You want to go with me? Let's have a man conversation. You should respect that I played football. Did you play football?" The reporter politely declined, but no doubt had the last laugh after Ukraine failed to make it out of the group with Blokhin leaving soon after.
6. Brian Laws
The idea of teacups being thrown against the dressing room wall is synonymous with manager tantrums thanks to Fergie, but former Grimsby manager Brian Laws was guilty of launching an altogether more unusual missile at his players. After a 3-2 defeat to Luton in 1996, whom Grimsby had beaten 7-1 earlier in the season, Laws allegedly raged at Ivano Bonetti for a perceived lack of effort before throwing a plate of chicken wings in his direction, leaving the striker with a fractured cheekbone. Laws has since denied the incident but it paved the way for his departure not long later.
5. Brian Clough
As well as being the only man brave enough to punch Roy Keane ("He got up again, so I can't have hit him very hard"), Clough infamously 'clipped the ears' of several Nottingham Forest supporters when they invaded the pitch following a 5-2 win over QPR, prompting the apocryphal headline 'The S**t Hits The Fan'. A few days later, two of the fans went to the City Ground to apologise to Clough, who met them in front of the BBC Midlands Today cameras. After agreeing to put the matter behind them, Clough then inflicted further embarrassment on the pair, telling them to give him a kiss to prove they had forgiven him.
4. Giovanni Trapattoni
"Strunz! What dare Strunz!?"
3. Delio Rossi
Rossi enjoyed an eventful 18 months from the start of 2011, which began with his sacking at Palermo in February following a 7-0 home defeat to Udinese. Maurizio Zamparini being Maurizio Zamparini, however, Rossi was reinstated only four weeks later, before leaving again at the end of the season. After taking a short break to work out what the hell just happened, Rossi was then appointed manager of Fiorentina in November, but he failed to sufficiently improve the club's fortunes as they languished in mid-table. Frustrations boiled over in a home match against struggling Novara, when Rossi chose to substitute attacking midfielder Adem Ljajic in the first half with Fiorentina trailing 2-0. Ljajic didn't take kindly to his coach's decision, offering sarcastic applause, which caused Rossi to erupt as he jumped into the dug-out and tried to punch his player. He was sacked with immediate effect and given a three-month ban by the Italian FA.
2. Joe Kinnear
"Which one of you is Simon Bird?" "Me." You're a c**t." Surprisingly, the next line in the transcript of Joe Kinnear's infamous 2008 press conference was Bird saying "thank you", which isn't the typical response to a brusque and portly man calling you a c**t. This was Kinnear's time to shine, however, and shine he did, launching an expletive-laden rant at the media following his return to football as Newcastle manager. Kinnear managed to swear a total of 52 times in the interview, which ended in brilliant fashion after one journalist plucked up the courage to ask: "Enjoyed getting back in the swing of things?" "Absolutely," said a red-faced Kinnear. "I've loved every moment of it."
1. Nelson Vivas
Whatever pressure you might find yourself under as a manager, punching a fan is never the solution. It may seem like a good idea, and of course it's bound to be a whole load of fun, but there is only going to be one outcome - just ask former Arsenal defender Nelson Vivas. The 44-year-old was relieved of his duties at Argentine club Quilmes in October after whacking an angry fan across the chops before being restrained by police. Surprisingly, the bruised fan defended Vivas, saying: "He shouldn't have to apologise to me because it was all in the heat of the moment. I think Vivas should continue." But it was to no avail, as Quilmes President Aníbal Fernández had made his decision: "Professionals like Vivas can't get angry about these things, they need to be able to show level-headedness. What happened was crazy."
Matthew Stanger - follow him on Twitter