Thiago linked with Man United (hmmmm), Vermaelen for sale for £5m, PSG to spend £100m on Wayne Rooney and...
SNEIJDER WAITING FOR AN OFFER FROM ENGLAND
Wesley Sneijder is waiting. Waiting patiently by the phone.
As you may know, Inter and Galatasaray have agreed a fee for the Dutch playmaking man, but he doesn't seem awfully keen on actually going.
So, according to The Daily Mail, Wesley is 'pining for a last-minute switch to England', and has asked his adviserse to hawk is ass all around town. Sort of.
The paper claims: 'Sneijder's representatives have been in talks with Arsenal, Manchester United, Manchester City, Tottenham and Chelsea but they all turned down the player because of his £200,000-a-week wage demands.
'He currently earns nearly £9million a year at the San Siro and has always refused to take a significant pay cut. But if a last-minute move to England can be resurrected, it would require the unsettled Holland star to finally lower his wage demands.'
CITY WANT TO SELL MARIO
Hilarious stories in The Guardian and The Sun, who both solemnly report that Manchester City are 'willing' to sell Mario Balotelli.
That's not the really funny bit, mind - both papers report that City are 'willing' to accept £24.6million from AC Milan, as if they're doing everyone here a big favour.
'Willing'? Jesus. The same price they paid for him three years ago, since when it's become very clear that he's a talented but virtually unmanagable mess? That's bite your hand off money.
Anyway, City believe they can flog Balotelli to Milan, despite Silvio Berlusconi having the stones to call Mario a 'bad apple.'
COLO WANTS TO GO HOME
Interesting story in The Independent, who report that Newcastle are in some bother after Fabricio Coloccini asked to return home to Argentina.
Apparently his agent has flown to Tyneside to tell the club that his man is homesick, and wants to leave as soon as possible, preferably by the end of the month.
This, it has to be said, is not good news for Alan Pardew.
San Lorenzo are the club mentioned as a possible destination, but they might not be able to afford the transfer fee, so a loan is their best option.
"Coloccini to San Lorenzo is the plan A, B and C," San Lorenzo president Matias Lammens said.
"He represents much more than football - he played here six months and was champion, his father works at the club and is a fan. The deadline is next week but we cannot do anything crazy with the budget."
CHELSEA MAKE PEP OFFER
We'll get this story every few weeks until Pep Guardiola actually agrees to join a club, but The Daily Express reports that Chelsea have made a whopping great offer to Pep Guardiola.
And we weren't kidding - the paper claims they will offer a 'take it or leave it' £18 million-a-year deal'.
Rafa Benitez is safe for the moment, but Pep is the one Roman Abramovich wants.
The Express claims: 'He has not given up hope of bringing Guardiola to Stamford Bridge, even if he has to fight a four-way battle with Bayern Munich, Manchester United and Manchester City.
'Abramovich will offer Guardiola £54m over three years - more than double the salary of Sir Alex Ferguson, who is the highest-paid manager in British football at £7.6m a year.'
REAL START COLE TALKS
Many things involving Ashley Cole are rather undignified, and the scramble for his signature this summer could be one of them.
The Daily Express reports that Real Madrid have already begun, with the left-back's people in Madrid for talks.
It seems Real want Cole no matter who's in charge there next season, be it Jose Mourinho or Carlo Ancelotti or even Rafa Benitez.
UNITED IN FOR DAVID GIL(L)
Quick line from The Sun, which we suspect might be something of a hoax.
Here's their whole story: 'MANCHESTER UNITED are eyeing up an £8million bid for Atletico Madrid keeper David Gil, 18.
'Red Devils spies have watched the Spanish Under-20 star several times in recent weeks.'
Next week - Chelsea make a bid for Bruce Buc.
AND THE REST...
QPR boss Harry Redknapp is set to sign Stoke's Wilson Palacios...Newcastle are set to beat Spurs and West Ham to sign Cameroon defender Gaetan Bong...Fulham are set to make the first move in the race for Birmingham keeper Jack Butland...Harry Redknapp is competing with LA Galaxy for Aston Villa defender Richard Dunne...Bolton winger Martin Petrov is making a shock move to Espanyol...Nottingham Forest boss Alex McLeish is set to sign winger Chris Burke from his old club Birmingham in a £500,000 deal...Aston Villa have approached Inter Milan over a move for midfielder Phillipe Coutinho...Tottenham are in talks over a £15m swoop for Sevilla striker Alvaro Negredo...Newcastle are keen on landing Rennes bad boy Yann M'Vila this month...Sunderland are giving a 10-day trial to American goalkeeper Joe Willis...QPR are weighing up a deal for Zulte Waregem striker Habib Habibou...Nottingham Forest will move for Blackburn keeper Paul Robinson...Arsenal have joined the race to sign Loic Remy from Marseille in a deal which could cost them £10m.