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LIVERPOOL IN FOR SNEIJDER
It's Sunday, so that means it's a day for utter nonsense in The People. Huzzah!
The first slice of guff from the paper comes in the form of word that Liverpool have made a bid for Wesley Sneijder.
Oi vey.
The People claims Sneijder is stalling on a move from Inter to Galatasaray in the hope of getting an offer from the Premier League, and apparently Liverpool have come forward with just that offer.
The paper reports: 'Kop boss Brendan Rodgers thinks he has a good chance of luring the 28-year-old Holland star to the Premier League - even though Inter have already accepted an £8.2million deal from the Turkish side.
'Sneijder, who has fallen out with Inter bosses, is stalling on the Gala deal because he would prefer to play in England - and Liverpool are ready to offer him the chance.
'Wages are a problem - Sneijder is on £160,000 a week at the San Siro.'
We probably don't need to explain why this is probably stuff and nonsense - you're intelligent people, you can work it out for yourselves.
LIVERPOOL IN FOR VALDES
Nonsense slice Number Two in The People says that Liverpool are in the market for a new goalkeeper, and will look to Barcelona for their man.
Yep, the paper claims Brendan Rodgers is 'plotting a summer move for Victor Valdes'.
The Barca goalie only has a year or so left on his current contract and isn't massively keen on signing a new one.
There is a caveat, obviously: 'It is hard to see Valdes leaving the club closest to his heart but, unless an agreement can be reached over a contract extension by the end of the season, Barca will listen to offers of around £16million.
'Sources claim Valdes wants parity with other Spain internationals at the Nou Camp.'
COLE TO UNITED
And slice Number Three comes with talk that Ashley Cole wants to stay in England when he leaves Chelsea in the summer, and will look for a move to Manchester United.
Apparently PSG and Real Madrid have both shown an interest in the left-back (despite Leonardo actually saying they didn't want him the other day), but the man himself would rather stay in Blighty.
And the paper says 'Cole's camp are aware that United are interested'.
Interestingly, the paper suggests that Cole would be Fergie's second choice, if he can't get Leighton Baines for a reasonable price.
ZAHA WILL HAVE TO STAY
As with every day in this transfer window, there's plenty of talk about Wilfried Zaha in the papers, so let's see what Ian Holloway had to say about the whole affair in his column for The Sunday Mirror:
"Wilfried Zaha is wanted by some of the biggest clubs in the Premier League. And THAT, in the football silly season that everyone else calls January, is the problem.
"The need for confidentiality makes it impossible to reveal who is interested in Wilfried and who has made a bid. But the constant buzz of speculation is difficult to cope with. It is a great tribute to Wilf himself that he has been able to hang on to his sanity.
"He had a little dip in form when the transfer talk started to get louder last month, but he has since shown that class is permanent.
"I felt it necessary to have a chat with Wilfried this week about what might happen and what definitely won't be happening. Even if we do reach an agreement with a club, it would have to include a clause that Zaha stays put for the rest of the season."
BALE TO REAL?
Curiously final-sounding stuff in The Sunday Express, who report that Real Madrid are sniffing round Gareth Bale.
They will bid £35million for the Welshman, but Spurs want closer to £55million for their man.
The final-sounding stuff comes in the following passage:
'Spurs chairman Daniel Levy has resigned himself to losing Bale in the summer and Real have made him their top arget. The two clubs signed a partnership agreement when Real bought Luka Modric last summer and that puts them in pole position to land Bale.'
Given that Levy made a big thing of the partnership deal when Modric went, we'd be rather surprised if it actually meant 'Real have first dibs on our best player.'
AND THE REST...
Swansea manager Michael Laudrup is planning a £2million bid for Osasuna attacker Roland Lamah...Manchester City and Manchester United are vying to sign St Etienne striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang...West Brom and Reading are both interested in signing Fulham's Chris Baird...Aston Villa will not sell Darren Bent to a relegation rival after Reading and QPR showed an interest in the striker...West Brom have placed an £8million price tag on Jonas Olsson to keep him out of QPR's clutches...Theo Walcott's new contract at Arsenal will only be for the next three-and-a-half years...Everton are ready to move for Athletic Bilbao defender Fernando Amorebieta, who is out of contract at the end of the season...Tom Ince's return to Liverpool is off after Blackpool refused to budge on their valuation of the winger...Manchester City striker John Guidetti is a loan target for Fiorentina...Newcastle are lining up a move for West Ham defender James Tomkins as a replacement for Fabricio Coloccini.
Fulham boss Martin Jol is planning an £8million bid for Rennes midfielder Yann M'Vila, who is wanted by QPR...Arsenal are lining up Toulouse defender Serge Aurier to replace Bacary Sagna at right-back...Reading want to sign Arsenal full-back Carl Jenkinson on loan...Cardiff have joined the hunt to sign QPR striker DJ Campbell...Blackburn want to re-sign David Bentley on loan from Tottenham with a view to a permanent deal...QPR boss Harry Redknapp wants a centre-half and Sunderland's Titus Bramble has emerged as a top target....Southampton manager Nigel Adkins is stepping up his bid to sign Cagliari defender Davide Astori...Hull City are keen to sign Fulham goalkeeper David Stockdale...West Ham boss Sam Allardyce has put plans to sign Southampton striker Rickie Lambert on hold...Everton boss David Moyes is prepared to sell Victor Anichebe for £5million to raise funds...Newcastle full-back Danny Simpson is hoping Fulham sign him so he can be closer to his pop singer girlfriend Tulisa...Bristol City want Bradford City boss Phil Parkinson to replace the sacked Derek McInnes.
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