Zlatan to City or Chelsea (it's a leap), Benteke to Spurs, City, Arsenal or Chelsea, £15m for Begovic and lots more...
RIO SET FOR UNITED STAY
There are a few reasons why you might think Rio mght be 'merked' out of Old Trafford in the summer.
1. He is 35 this year
2. He has played to play more than 80% of games in a Premier League season since 2007/8
3. He is out of contract in five months
However, the Daily Star believe that Rio will stay at United, and in fairness they use quotes from Suralex to back themselves up.
"I don't think there is any reason why he won't stay.
"We give players one-year contracts; there is nothing wrong with that.
"I don't think players with the reputation and ability of Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes and Rio Ferdinand should worry about a one-year contract.
"It is not to say we doubt them in terms of longevity."
LIVERPOOL MAKE FINAL COUTINHO BID
Unlike their 'interest' in Wesley Sneijder coming to the square root of not too much, it appears that Brendan Rodgers does like the look of Philippe Coutinho.
The Daily Mail reports that 'Pool have made a 'take it or leave it' offer of £7.2million for the Brazilian midfielder, which would see Inter Milan gain much of the money up front.
Coutinho would certainly seem a more logical fit at 20years of age, but Southampton are rumoured to have outbid Liverpool. Coutinho played on loan under Mauricio Pochettino at Espanyol last year.
JENKINSON ON STOKE RADAR
If the recent performances of Bacary Sagna are anything to go by Arsenal would be reet crazy to let a full-back go out on loan, but the Daily Mirror has other ideas.
The paper reports that Stoke City are at the front of the queue to make a loan offer for Carl Jenkinson, with West Ham, Wigan and Fulham also interested.
Jenkinson is an England international and has performed impressively, so knowing Arsenal a deal will probably be done and dusted by Monday.
BORO WANT DYER
Most football clubs would presumably put Kieron Dyer in a file marked 'not even with a bargepole', but it appears that Middlesbrough may be prepared to offer the midfielder a contract after his release by QPR, with the Daily Mail giving the firmest nod to the story.
He is 34. He has been training with Ipswich to get fitness. He has played 35 games in five years. He has one goal in six years. He loves an injury. You're up North. It's cold.
Can't see any issue with this? Then snap him up (with snap being a potentially appropriate word).
AND THE REST...
Aston Villa's Andreas Weimann is in talks over a new contract... David Moyes expects Everton to leave it until late in the transfer window once again... Luciano Becchio has been offered a take-it-or-leave-it £4m deal to commit his long-term future to Leeds... Chelsea playmaker Eden Hazard faces a five-match (or six, depending on what you read) ban for his ball-boy bust-up... West Ham have had a £1.75million bid for Montpellier defender Henri Bedimo rejected... Swansea's enquiry for Manchester United target Kurt Zouma, of St Etienne, has been rejected... David Moyes may drop Nikica Jelavic on Saturday after the striker's goal drought... Ball-boys at all of England's professional clubs are being told to avoid time-wasting or other "inappropriate behaviour"... Juventus have been linked with a move for Nicolas Anelka... Fulham have made a late enquiry for South Korea international left-back Yun Suk-Young, 22, who is due to join QPR pending a work permit... West Ham may launch a late bid to capture Celtic left-back Emilio Izaguirre... Wigan are weighing up a loan move for Mexican striker Aldo De Nigris