Chelsea on 'red alert' for Rooney, Carvalho for United, Toivonen for Liverpool and Ince/Lamela Spurs nonsense...
UNITED IN FOR LUIZ?
Ah - turnsie backsies.
With Chelsea's continued interest in Wayne Rooney still in the ether, The Daily Mirror says Manchester United are in for David Luiz.
Apparently United are prepared to pay £30million for the Brazilian defender, with the paper reporting:
'New United manager David Moyes has made secret approaches for the buccaneering centre-half, who is also a target for Barcelona and has been left out of Jose Mourinho's sides early this season following a pre-season hamstring problem.
'Moyes thinks the colourful character may not be a Mourinho-style player because he takes risks at the back, but would love to see him at the Old Trafford club.'
ARSENE LIKES MATA
Arsene Wenger is just cruel, sometimes - getting the hopes of Gooners everywhere up like this.
"I have heard, like you, that Juan Mata may be on the market," he said. "I like him but there is a reluctance in England to sell to each other.
"We have to see how bad the injuries are but I can't tell you more than that.
"We are on the market - the whole world knows that now - but I can't be more creative than that because nothing has been concluded yet."
Of course, a flighty attacking midfielder isn't exactly at the top of Arsenal's priority list, but they continue to be linked with Mesut Ozil.
And The Daily Mirror reports that a strop from the Real Madrid man makes it more likely that he will move to the Emirates.
Ozil apparently flounced off after being subbed in Real's 1-0 win at Granada, but other reports suggest he will ask for wages of £200,000 a week.
Meanwhile, the Mirror also suggests that Arsenal are still keen on Iker Casillas.
The paper reports: 'Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is also monitoring another frustrated Real star - keeper Iker Casillas.
'The Bernabeu legend is seeking assurances about his future after being left on the bench again under new coach Carlo Ancelotti.'
In slightly more practical news, The Daily Mail reports that Arsenal have asked Ajax about a price for Toby Alderweireld.
ETO'O WANTS CHELSEA
Interesting line in The Times, who report that Samuel Eto'o wants to join Chelsea, and he wants to join them bad.
So bad, in fact, that he will reject 'a more lucrative' contract at Real Madrid, of all places, in order to sign for Jose Mourinho.
Eto'o of course started out in Europe at Real before moving to Mallorca then Barcelona.
AND THE REST...
Watford's Troy Deeney is a target for Celtic...Blackburn will not let Jordan Rhodes join Wigan...Crystal Palace have made a move to sign Joey Barton but face a fight from Everton...Cardiff have been told to stump up £8.6m for Heerenveen's Alfred Finnbogason...Sunderland are locked in a battle with Sampdoria to sign Real Madrid's Luca Antonini...Roma have held talks over a loan switch involving Tottenham left-back Benoit Assou-Ekotto and Federico Balzaretti...Sheffield Wednesday are trying to land former Manchester City winger Martin Petrov...Nottingham Forest have made a fresh bid for Middlesbrough's Grant Leadbitter...Aston Villa and Southampton have made loan bids for Porto defender Abdoulaye Ba...Manchester City are closer to signing Martin Demichelis from Atletico Madrid...Modibo Maiga is expected to stay at West Ham with St Etienne unwilling to pay his entire wages or meet a £2m loan fee...Spurs have been warned off striker Hulk by Zenit St Petersburg...Birmingham boss Lee Clark has admitted he has not got a penny to spend at St Andrews...Manuel Pellegrini has earmarked Valencia's Adil Rami as a back-up to Manchester City's defensive problems...Mark Hughes has his sights on landing QPR's Junior Hoilett and West Brom's Peter Odemwingie...Crystal Palace are challenging Fulham for £2m-rated Ajax midfielder Eyong Enoh...Millwall have given Gary Taylor-Fletcher a trial with Steve Morison ruled out for a month with a hernia.