The Inexplicably Bad Pun Gossip

Manchester United to buy Luke Shaw (or Baines), Barcelona winger to join Liverpool, Morrison off and more..

Last Updated: 31/12/13 at 09:30 Post Comment

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Costa close to £50m Chelsea move, Arsenal turn to Mandzukic, Man United plot bids for Shaw, Kroos and Carvalho...

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Liverpool to make record bid for Ross Barkley, Stones off to London, Arsenal want double Real Madrid swoop...


UNITED AFTER SHAW THING
Whilst we rather think that if United are going to spend £20million in January it should be invested slightly further up the field, the Daily Telegraph today go large on the story that Old Trafford chiefs are prepared to make a move for Southampton left-back Luke Shaw, cooling their interest in Leighton Baines.

The paper claim that United would prefer to wait until the summer to bid for Shaw, but have been forced into action by recent interest from Chelsea.

However, given that the Daily Mirror report that Untied are set to test Everton with a £16million bid for Leighton Baines, perhaps we should take the whole damn thing with a handful of salt?


TELLO, IS IT LIVERPOOL YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
After playing 19-year-old left back Brad Smith on the left wing for half an hour against Chelsea, it appears that Brendan Rodgers' less than subtle hint on the fragility of his squad has had an instant effect, with most of the papers this morning reporting on a potential loan move for Barcelona winger Cristian Tello.

Tello, who has an international cap for Spain, has seen his first team opportunities limited under Tata Martino, and has started just two La Liga matches this season.

The Daily Star report that Tello turned down a move to Anfield over the summer to sign a new deal at Barca, but may have now been persuaded that a six-month deal may work for all parties as he looks to gain a place in Spains's World Cup squad.


MORRISON'S FOR HAMMERS GLOOM
It hasn't been a particularly inspiring season for West Ham supporters, but the form of Ravel Morrison has at least given them one of two reasons to raise a flicker of a smile. Bubble blowers should therefore probably stay clear of this morning's Metro, which discusses the club selling the naughty starlet back to Manchester United.

The Hammers have an arrangement whereby they must pay United £25,000 for every game that Morrison plays (£450,000 already this season), and must accept any bid of £18million that comes in for the midfielder as part of a clause in his contract.

The paper go on to 'reveal' that Sam Allardyce will look to bring in Johnny Heitinga and Nikica Jelavic in January to strengthen a survival bid. It never rains, but...


AND THE REST
Borussia Dortmund have joined the race for Atletico Madrid striker Diego Costa... PSG have moved for Manchester United and Chelsea target Ivan Rakitic from Sevilla... Manchester City and Chelsea have been told by Villarreal that centre-back Mateo Musacchio, 23, will not be allowed to leave the club for less than £45m... Arsenal have not completely given up hope of signing Spain youth international striker Alvaro Morata... Derby hope to sign Chelsea youngster Patrick Bamford on loan... Crystal Palace manager Tony Pulis plans to raid former club Stoke to sign striker Peter Crouch and winger Matthew Etherington

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