Song to United/Arsenal, Hernandez allowed to leave, Poldi on Draxler, Inter want Dzeko rather than Torres and...
DRAXLER AND VUCINIC TO ARRIVE?
Right, let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this sh*t one more time.
There are several reports this morning that not only will Arsenal sign Julian Draxler, but Mirko Vucinic as well before we all turn into pumpkins on Friday night.
The Daily Mirror reports that Arsenal are 'confident' about signing Draxler, and that talks with the player will commence shortly.
The paper claims: 'Despite Schalke's public denials, they are eager to do business this month to ease their financial problems, and the Gunners are prepared to offer Draxler a near-double-your-money pay-rise from his current £45,000 a week to £80,000.
'We can also reveal that Draxler has been cleared to return to play again in just seven days' time after seeing German specialist Hans Muller Wohlfahrt about a ruptured ankle tendon.'
Meanwhile, The Sun claims that Arsenal are set for a 'double swoop', bagging Mirko Vucinic for the rest of the season, as well as Draxler.
Still, don't fret Gooners - if they don't come off, there's a back-up plan, according to The Daily Star, who report Arsenal are considering a £2.5million bid Salomon Kalou as a cut-price alternative.
LIVERPOOL TO BE GAZUMPED AGAIN?
Are Liverpool going to be beaten to yet another signing? Yevhen Konoplyanka is the latest apple of their eye, but according to reports this morning, both Spurs and Arsenal could gazump them.
Here's some words on Konoplyanka, first from his pa, then from his agent.
Oleg Konoplyanka told Espreso TV: "I don't want to talk too specifically, but the reports about a transfer to England -- they are true. He might change clubs later this week. We are not considering offers from within the Ukraine."
And his agent told Gazeta.ua: "When writing about the interest from Liverpool, these people only know part of the truth.
"Yesterday, I had a long and productive conversation with the chairman of another English club. The chances of Yevhen moving to England soon are very high. His club might be Liverpool or another English club."
According to ESPNFC, Arsenal are a potential destination.
KROOS TO UNITED?
This is cruel really, but The Daily Express entertains the suggestion that Toni Kroos could move to Manchester United.
And they base it on some fairly ambiguous quotes from Pep Guardiola, who said: "He is an important player but things can move fast in football. Here today, gone tomorrow."
INTER WANT NANI ON LOAN?
Talk of this move was rife in the Transfer Blog on Wednesday, but according to The Daily Mail, Internazionale really do want Nani.
Apparently they have asked about a loan with a view to a permanent deal, despite the winger being currently injured.
The Mail reports that they could also try to throw in Fredy Guarin, but David Moyes isn't keen on that one.
GRENIER TO REPLACE CABAYE?
So, with Yohan Cabaye gone, Newcastle need another French midfielder. Well, they actually just need another midfielder, but history tells us he will be French.
The Daily Mail claims Clement Grenier will be that man, and that Newcastle have made an £11million bid for the Lyon man.
The paper reports: 'The approach for Grenier came on Wednesday morning with Cabaye picture leaving a French hospital after completing his medical.
'Grenier, 23, is one of a series of potential targets identified as the club drew up a contingency plan with speculation mounting that PSG would make a January move for Cabaye.
'Boss Alan Pardew is thought to prefer to a move for Grenier as opposed to Montpellier's Remy Cabella.'
AND THE REST...
Crystal Palace expect to make "at least three" signings in the final 48 hours of the transfer window, but Stoke forward Jonathan Walters looks unlikely to be one of them...Chelsea boss Joe Mourinho is in a price war with St Etienne over their centre-half Kurt Zouma...Swansea have had a £3million bid for Southampton's Jack Cork turned down...Lewis Holtby expects to leave Tottenham before the end of the week, according to his agent...West Ham are trying to do a cut-price £500,000 deal for Academica Coimbra midfielder Fernando Alexandre...Sunderland are the latest club to show an interest in Leeds striker Ross McCormack...Everton are trying to arrange a loan deal for Marseille striker Saber Khalifa...Celtic boss Neil Lennon has warned Wolves he could abruptly end his interest in signing Leigh Griffiths unless there's a quick resolution to the saga...Cardiff have opened talks over a deal to sign Hamburg midfielder Tomas Rincon.
It might just be a generic term from the Konoplyanka camp, but if it is a 'Chairman' of another club they have spoken to then my money is on Tottenham, seeing as the Arsenal Chairman doesn't do transfer negotiations. That said it is more likely a ploy to get their client more money- goober