Di Maria wants Manchester United move (or not), Liverpool are going to raid Southampton again and Lukaku to Real or Juve...
ARSENAL FAIL TO SIGN A STRIKER
Despite desperately needing another striker to aid their title bid, Arsenal missed out on a number of targets on deadline day.
Lille rejected the Gunners' offer for Salomon Kalou on the grounds that they didn't have time to find a replacement while Arsenal also failed with a loan bid for Miroslav Klose.
With Park Chu-Young joining Watford on loan, Arsene Wenger is left with four fit forwards - Olivier Giroud, Lukas Podolski, Yaya Sanogo and Nicklas Bendtner - until the end of the season. Will that be enough? No.
MAN UNITED FAIL WITH SWAP DEAL
We're struggling to believe this is true but, according to the Daily Mirror, Manchester United failed with an audacious bid to swap Nani for Andros Townsend.
'Manchester United are understood to have discussed the move with Spurs earlier this week but the north Londoners, after initially entering into discussions, rejected the deal,' report the Mirror.
A potential deal may have broken down due to Nani being ruled out for another month with a hamstring injury.
Juventus, AC Milan and Inter were also tracking the winger on deadline day, with the Mirror claiming that Nani is 'apparently surplus to requirements'. That's a little odd considering he signed a new five-year deal in the summer.
NO LIVERPOOL DEAL FOR KONOPLYANKA
There was a lot of criticism for Ian Ayre on the live transfer blog on Friday, but the noises coming out of Liverpool claim that Dnipro were responsible for Yevhen Konoplyanka's transfer collapsing.
According to various reports, the Reds met Konoplyanka's release clause only for Dnipro president Ihor Kolomoyskyi to refuse to sign the papers, which we can all admit is wonderfully childish.
The Daily Mail now claim that Tottenham will return for the winger in the summer while Liverpool are left to ponder why they keep failing to sign their top targets.
CITY PULL OUT OF PORTO SWOOP
Simple one, this. Apparently Man City were prepared to pay £35million for Porto duo Eliaquim Mangala and Fernando - whose contract expires in the summer - but the Portuguese champions wanted closer to £46million.
Well, you will get clubs trying to take the p*ss if you throw that sort of money around.
To sum up a miserable deadline day, Lee Cattermole's mooted switch to Stoke became one of the biggest sagas of the evening.
Apparently Gus Poyet was happy to let either Cattermole or Craig Gardner (wanted by West Brom) leave after signing Liam Bridcutt from Brighton, but Ellis Short rejected Stoke's final offer of £5million for the former England U21 midfielder.
And that was that.