Falcao to Arsenal, United, City or Real, Harry Redknapp will buy four (but not wheel or deal), Spurs want Rodriguez...
£40M ENOUGH FOR KROOS?
You might have heard about this rumour before, we grant you that, but Manchester United quite want Toni Kroos this summer.
The Daily Mirror claim a new development in what is quickly turning into a dreaded 'saga' - apparently United are hoping that a bid of £40million would be enough for Bayern to sell a player that could leave for nothing next summer.
Wonderfully, the Mirror use the phrase 'mega-bid' to describe the offer and also claim that Kroos could be tempted by a 'Wayne Rooney-style' contract. We presume that that refers to the sh*t tonne of money on offer rather than Kroos getting the captaincy and being able to sculpt transfer policy.
Unfortunately, Bayern chairman Karl-Heinz Rumenigge is here to urinate on your chips, United fans: "[Kroos] will certainly play at Bayern next year."
COURTOIS TO REVEAL FUTURE PLANS
Such is the form of Thibaut Courtois at Atletico Madrid right now that you could stand up in a pub and claim him to be the best goalkeeper in the world without receiving too many funny looks.
The on-loan Chelsea keeper, who is still just a frankly ridiculous 21, helped his side to a 1-1 draw against Barcelona in the Champions League this week, and after the match promised to reveal his future.
"Next week I will announce my decision," he said. "I am not going to say if I will stay or not. What I will say is that next week I will announce my decision."
Well that's fine Thibaut (and you've got an excellent name, by the way), but we rather think that Chelsea might have a say on your future too, given that you are under contract with them.
EVRA'S AGENT CONFIRMS ITALY THOUGHTS
The more and more you hear from Patrice Evra's camp, the more likely it seems that the France international will end his eight-year association with the club.
Inter are thought to be at the front of the queue to sign Evra, despite owner Erick Thohir recent 'don't know nothing guv' quotes - "We've never had any negotiations with Evra."
However, Italy certainly seems the likely destination if quotes from Evra's agent Federico Pastorello are to be believed, as reported by the Daily Mirror this morning.
"Patrice has to decide what to do with his future," Pastorello said. "He is very close to United, but lately things have changed a little."
"Could he come back to Italy? Patrice has always highly regarded Serie A and so, if he were to leave England, it could be a possibility. But at the moment it is still too early to talk about next season."
AND THE REST
Crystal Palace are plotting a summer swoop for Bournemouth defender Steve Cook... Southampton are hoping to sign teenage keeper Ted Smith from Southend... Johan Djourou will make his loan move from Arsenal to Hamburg permanent in the summer for a fee of around £2.5million... Cardiff are close to signing Beira Mar winger Willyan Barbosa... Brighton hope to re-sign QPR striker Bobby Zamora this summer... Fulham's £12.4million record signing Kostas Mitroglou might not play again this season after being sent to Italy for treatment on a knee injury... Liverpool, Aston Villa and Everton are looking at £5million rated United Arab Emirates winger Omar Abdulrahman... AC Milan are willing to pay £3million to make Adel Taarabt's loan move from QPR permanent.