Di Maria wants Manchester United move (or not), Liverpool are going to raid Southampton again and Lukaku to Real or Juve...
CHELSEA WANT LAVEZZI
With one striker (the expected arrival of Diego Costa from Atletico Madrid) not enough to make up for the clear-out that Jose Mourinho is planning this summer, Chelsea's attention has now turned to another big name to add to their front line.
The Daily Mail reckon that Paris St Germain's Ezequiel Lavezzi is that man, which does seem potentially viable given the rather cushty relationship the two clubs seem to enjoy over transfer dealings. Perhaps Chelsea will have to pay £60million for Lavezzi to make up for the £50million David Luiz deal?
It's a textbook Mail transfer story in truth, a huge screaming headline but only eight lines of text, of which just four actually concerns Lavezzi. There are eight images though, the first of which mocks up Lavezzi in a Chelsea shirt to show us 'what he may look like, as imagined by MailSport.' Of course it does.
The only real line of interest is the claim that Chelsea may look to use Lavezzi in negotiations with PSG interested in Eden Hazard, Oscar and Petr Cech. It could be a busy summer.
LIVERPOOL WANT CLYNE AND LALLANA
Over to the Daily Star now, who unsurprisingly opt for an 'Exclusive'. They claim that Liverpool will not only stump up the £25million to bring Adam Lallana to Anfield, but will also pay the asking price of £15million for Nathaniel Clyne.
Again there is rather little meat on the bones of the story other than the reminder that Roy Hodgson has told England's stars to forget sorting out their club futures during the England training camp or World Cup campaign.
It does all boil down to being a pretty worrying time to be a Southampton supporters, however, with Lallana, Clyne, Luke Shaw and Mauricio Pochettino, Morgan Schneiderlin and Jay Rodriguez all subject to rumours and gossip.
QPR IN FOR LAMPARD AND RIO
After actually being very nice about QPR's resilience following their play-off final win over Derby on Saturday, our boy Daniel Storey wrote of the chance that the club now had to rid themselves of the stench of ageing ex-pro after a final payday.
'Rather than chase the predictable ageing signings of the recent past, owner and club could instead use this summer to endeavour to build a more sustainable future," he started. 'Whether Fernandes and [Harry] Redknapp attempt such stability is a different matter entirely. At the time of writing QPR are the favourites to sign Rio Ferdinand - sometimes people just never learn.'
Well, what did you really think would happen? The Sun (a paper who have a close-knit relationship with Redknapp except when it comes to serialising his autobiography) today claim that QPR are poised to make bids for Frank Lampard and Rio Ferdinand, both 35. The pair are thought to have a combined wage demand of at least £150,000 per week.
Sometimes, it's all just too obvious for words.
WEST HAM AGREE ZARATE DEAL
Over to our friends as Sky Sports now, who understand that former Birmingham striker Mauro Zarate has agreed a move to West Ham on a three-year deal.
A source told Sky Sports that "Mauro is very excited about a move to England, he enjoyed his spell last time with Birmingham and is ready to play in the Premier League again."
The Argentinean does have a slightly chequered past when it comes to staying settled in one place and falling out with club hierarchy, but we look forward to watching his relationship with Sam Allardyce blossom like a Jane Austen romance.
AND THE REST
Stoke are hopeful of landing long-standing target Mame Biram Diouf after talks on Sunday... Harry Redknapp has revealed that QPR striker Loic Remy is available for around £8m... Besiktas are keen on a move for Chelsea striker Demba Ba after their interest cooled on Samuel Eto'o... Real Madrid No.2 Paul Clement has given West Brom hope he can be lured away from the European champions... Samuel Eto'o is eyeing a move to Arsenal or Spurs after he was released by Chelsea.
Goddammit - can clubs please leave our bloody players and manager alone ?- hurbster