Karim Benzema to Liverpool for £50m (of course), with Virgil van Dijk and Fabian Delph also on the wanted list.
UNITED EYE JOE ALLEN (REALLY)
There have been plenty of eye-opening rumours in this summer transfer window as the battle for clicks rages on all fronts, but I think that Joe Allen to Manchester United from Liverpool probably wins the (non-existent) award.
It comes, somewhat inevitably, courtesy of a Daily Star 'exclusive', with their claim that United will offer £20m to tempt Brendan Rodgers into selling a player that he paid £15m for.
Weirdly, the Star claim that Allen is likely to lose his place with all of Liverpool's arrivals, but with Emre Can coming in and Lucas presumably departing it really would be a similar situation to last season, and Allen started against Manchester City on Monday.
ARSENAL IN FOR CAVANI
The fall out from Olivier Giroud's ankle injury continues apace this morning, with Edinson Cavani the most glittery name on the list.
The Daily Express are reporting that outlets in France are reporting that Arsene Wenger is determined to sign the Paris St Germain forward before the window closes.
However, this should come as no surprise to readers of the Express (or Mediawatch), after the paper claimed that Arsenal would sign both Cavani and two Loic Remy's yesterday. If anything, Wenger's aspirations have lowered in the last 24 hours.
Oh, and the paper claim that Cavani is for sale for the princely sum of £50m. Which isn't cheap.
AC MILAN WANT CHELSEA PAIR
AC Milan rather need to get on with some business quickly if this is not to be another season of despair for fans of the Rossoneri. However, can't imagine their fans are too sold on the idea of Fernando Torres being the answer to their striker shortage after the sale of Mario Balotelli, whatever positive spin you give it.
According to the Daily Express, the deal depends on Chelsea's ongoing interest in Roma's Mattia Destro, which would then persuade Jose Mourinho to let Torres leave. And by 'let', we mean 'shoo out until he is a mere dot on the horizon', whatever Jose may say.
The Express use quotes from Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani in order to beef up their story: "Our goal is to take a great striker. Fernando Torres? He is a great striker. Let's see if he comes or someone else. We are actively working.
"Van Ginkel? We are confident. We have made our proposal to Chelsea and are now waiting on an answer. We hope we can get him."
Clever dicks will notice that Galliani also mentioned Marco van Ginkel, but it is unclear whether a deal for the Dutchman would be permanent or loan.
AND THE REST
Liverpool's Fabio Borini is a transfer target for AC Milan if they can't get Fernando Torres... QPR are ready to snap up West Ham midfielder Mo Diame... Manchester United are hoping Daley Blind will follow Angel di Maria into Old Trafford... Liverpool teenager Jordon Ibe is to discuss a loan move to Derby County... Fulham are in talks to sign Iranian defender Ehsan Hajsafi... Sunderland are closing in on a season-long loan for Liverpool's Sebastian Coates... Cardiff, Fulham and Blackburn are keen on Tunisian defender Syam Ben Youssef... Hamburg have made an approach for Tottenham midfielder Lewis Holtby... Hull City defender Alex Bruce is set to move to Blackburn Rovers after the Tigers signed Michael Dawson... Inter Milan midfielder Zdravko Kuzmanovic is being monitored by Crystal Palace and West Ham.