Zinedine Zidane is making eyes at the Belgian while Man United are linked with Algerian.
It's one of the most ridiculous recent editions of transfer gossip, featuring Rooney, De Gea and Ronaldo.
Arsenal definitely don't need a midfielder, but they want one. Also, Ritchie to United & Dembele to Spurs
Lewandowski and Sane are just some of the Bundesliga stars heading this way. It's international week.
Higuain to Chelsea, Anderson, Mahrez and Mane to Manchester United, Jese to Arsenal...
Jose Mourinho is to cull Chelsea's 'bad apples', but Willian is set for a new deal. Also, Monk and Zlatan.
...and Liverpool to sign Alex Pato, though they probably won't to be fair...
Manchester City, Arsenal, Tottenham and Liverpool are watching a player described as "a young Ashley Cole".
Everton want £45m for Lukaku, Villa, Newcastle and Sunderland chase Townsend, Liverpool want Ter Stegen.
United dealt a 'blow' in their quest to re-sign Ronaldo, Liverpool want Kiessling and Spurs eye Gent pair.
Monaco make offer for Jose, Jorginho to Arsenal (again), Mario Gomez to Manchester United
Carlo Ancelotti and Claude Makelele or Roberto Mancini to Chelsea, and Everton and Liverpool battle for Tello.
Bayern have entered the race for Kane, Man United still want Bale, and Spurs will offer Eriksen a new deal.
Not a lot else to be honest. Let's all just concentrate on the football...
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