Roy Keane is not about to continue a fight with Jon Walters, so just calls Harry Arter a "f**king p***k" instead.
Which Premier League player commits the most fouls per game throughout Europe's top five leagues?
His achievements over the last decade are incredible. We must not forget to cherish him...
We have sifted through each funny middle name to bring you every 25-man Premier League squad.
Not panic stations, but which players were we expecting more from in the season's first few weeks?
Four games in, this lot haven't even made the bench. It doesn't look good for some...
Watford top the winners, West Ham the losers. Are they going to jump back into short-termism?
Arsenal and Liverpool are in there, but no team has more representatives than Man United.
Pretty in pink, but not without incident. Manchester United took their necessary step...
Romelu Lukaku scored twice, Marcus Rashford was sent off and Paul Pogba missed a penalty at Turf Moor.
Sean Dyche was full of praise for Burnley and their 18-year-old debutant despite their Europa exit.
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang is due a goal. Speaking of which, Man United will win by exactly one.
All of the windows are pretty much closed now. Who has moved in and out?
Fabian Delph, Jordan Henderson, Ruben Loftus-Cheek...all retain their places despite not playing for their clubs.
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