Ten of the greatest backheel goals, including Cristiano Ronaldo and iconic Arsenal pair
What do Cristiano Ronaldo, Sadio Mane and Laurent Robert have in common with a couple of Arsenal icons? Backheel goalscoring brilliance for one.
More Articles
Wayne Rooney is a celebrity; he doesn’t need this Plymouth hell
Wayne Rooney has chosen to manage at Plymouth in the bottom reaches of the Championship when he could be using his celebrity. Is that admirable?
How unhappy to do you have to be to scream abuse at Robbie Savage?
John Nicholson admits he chanted abuse at Boro players when he was deeply unhappy; it’s the only explanation for vile behaviour.
Good luck Ruben Amorim; Man Utd are ‘a fat, lazy, bloated corpse of a club’
At times it has seemed like Manchester United have been running parts of the club like it’s still 1991. Can Ruben Amorim fix that?
Ten great dribbles obviously include Pele and Best but a Manchester United star being embarrassed too
Pele and George Best obviously receive mentions when it comes to excellent dribbling, but a 1990s ‘rockstar’ embarrassed Manchester United once.
Don’t be surprised if referees think you and your manager are c***s
The PGMOL has done nothing to protect its officials from the most disgusting abuse; why are we so shocked when they crack?
Ten of the greatest disallowed goals features Henry, Tiote and Schmeichel
You’d never guess that John Nicholson hates VAR as he runs down some of his favourite disallowed goals…
We are in the Mikel Arteta at Arsenal endgame; the process has failed
Mikel Arteta has been an undoubted success as Arsenal manager but this will not be allowed to rumble on forever. History tells us that.
Ten incredible saves include De Gea heroics and Ramsdale brilliance v Liverpool
David de Gea really was phenomenal at Manchester United for a time. Aaron Ramsdale and Jordan Pickford have pulled off some belting saves before too.
Stop genuflecting in front of glorified games teachers like Klopp and Arteta
Your football club’s manager is not your dad. Or a God. He’s just a bloke paid to put out some cones, says John Nicholson.
Mo Salah is the king of breakaway goals as top 10 revealed
Mo Salah is the only man with two entries in John Nicholson’s list; he is very good at running very fast towards goal.
VAR is altering results and helping get managers sacked – enough is enough
Johnny Nic has been banging the drum against VAR for years and thing are only getting worse. Erik ten Hag would probably join the chorus now.
Ten failed goal celebrations include Robben, Dortmund and Batshuayi’s England embarrassment
A botched Arjen Robben knee slide, some Dortmund dancing and Michy Batshuayi smashing the ball into his own face are among the strangest goal celebrations.
Thomas Tuchel reaction shows how irrelevant newspapers have become
Who are these shallow, stupid, not-to-say bigoted stories actually for? The UK press is now like a rundown hotel battling to stay open…
Ten animals on the pitch include Ewood Park chicken and a rogue kangaroo
Football is boring for much of the time. The ball isn’t even in play for half an hour, so when an animal gets on the pitch it is worth the ...
Johnny Nich: England for the English manager; anything else is just ‘cheating’
Our John Nicholson believes that an England team should have an English manager, but not in a Daily Mail kind of way.
Cole Palmer and co. propped up and flattered by English exceptionalism
A tedious win against a minor side and a hapless loss. As ever, about par for England. These players are not world-beaters.
Ten phenomenal last-ditch tackles, including ‘crouching tiger’ Van Dijk’s perfect timing
Virgil van Dijk, Phil Jones and James Tomkins surely have a group chat discussing the art of the last-ditch tackle. Spurs should probably try to avoid them.
Football is selfish, weird and abusive on workers’ rights; ask Lassana Diarra
Footballers are men and women, not chattels or assets, though they are treated as such by clubs and agents. It’s barbaric, says John Nicholson.
Welcome to the exhibition Premier League, where anyone can beat anyone else but almost never does
‘Anyone can beat anyone else in the Premier League’ is fine marketing spiel but also provable nonsense when five teams have no wins from six games.
Ten iconic pitch invaders include Ronaldo undresser, England impostor and *that* Everton protestor
The woke police and Cristiano Ronaldo will say pitch invasion is not something which should be celebrated in football, but it has spawned some great moments.
Chelsea offer football as entertainment and nothing else; is that okay?
In an all-too-real way, Chelsea might be an early example of the future. They are a batsh*t club but they are winning football matches.
Do FA have balls to defy UEFA and their ‘corporate brothel’?
UEFA threatening the FA for trying to regulate football is absurd and John Nicholson is predictably angry.
Ten acts of footballing fury include Barclaysmen teammates fighting and Antony anger
As the Premier League returns, let’s look at some real moments of fury on the pitch. You don’t want to see that? Of course we do…
Carsley anthem anger is ‘stupidity for consumption by the stupidocracy’
Our Johnny Nic is very, very angry at the confected anger about Lee Carsley not singing his allegiance to the royal family.
Old Trafford was ‘almost embarrassingly silent’ but Sky insist on selling Man Utd v Liverpool as must-watch
Trust Sky Sports to oversell a game and pretend it will be 90 minutes of action. Manchester United v Liverpool was a masterclass in selling sh*t as sugar.
The Premier League: boring, over-hyped, self-satisfied, predictable and often just quite simply bad
It’s fair to say the opening two weekends of the new Premier League season have not left Johnny Nic overly impressed with what he’s seen.
I had a stroke but the magnetic power of football helped hold my life together
Our Johnny has written a book about his experiences of having a stroke. Football helped save him, hence why he rallies against the big money and corporate values.
Ten of the worst shots ever, including David Luiz, Fred and two bona fide Premier League legends
Manchester United are represented twice on this list of the worst shots by an elite-level professional footballer ever. Cristiano Ronaldo cannot complain.
Ten proper volleys, including Manchester United title winner clincher and Zidane magic
After the admin of clearing up precisely what constitutes a ‘proper volley’, it is time to marvel at Manchester United’s title winner and the Zidane swivel.
Disband the PGMOL; the new version of VAR is even worse than the last
The tedious farce of VAR continues to soil an ever-dysfunctional and uninteresting product: The Premier League.
‘The best league in the world’ has backed itself into a financial corner and cannot fix broken model
Premier League executives cannot maintain the idea of competition if the same teams finish in the same places. But removing those sides eliminates the money
The stupid thuggishness of summer riots will be calmed by Valium of football
Football will be the Valium that calms this rage. That or the rain. But remember that none of this is new.