Arsenal ‘dream’ still ends in title disappointment despite Isak’s ‘clear message’ and transfer ‘done’
Arsenal’s ‘dream’ end to the season still ends in disappointment, but at least Alexander Isak is sending clear messages.
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Tuchel ‘regret’ over England decision revealed as ‘very little has changed’ since Southgate
Why has Thomas Tuchel not transformed England within two games? ‘Very little has changed’ since Gareth Southgate (and in terms of qualifying that’s fine).
Tuchel aims ‘swipe’ at Arteta with unnecessary ‘warning’ over England stars
Thomas Tuchel said he would do what every international coach ever has and that is a ‘swipe’ at Mikel Arteta and a ‘warning’ to all Premier League managers.
Tuchel ‘tears apart’ Southgate before ‘brutal’ cull of England trio as no-one is safe
Thomas Tuchel has not even managed England yet despite leaving a wake of bodies behind in his ‘brutal’ critiques. Won’t someone think of Jarell Quansah?
Man Utd ‘proven right’ five times on Marcus Rashford, apparently
When Man Utd being ‘proven right’ on Marcus Rashford works once, why not do it five times? And that was before the ‘subtle dig’…
Liverpool ‘promise’ says everything about Isak transfer as Man Utd make shock stadium move
The international break is in full swing and that means that sadly it is low tide in Content Bay. But it does mean there’s some Liverpool guff.
Newcastle triumph ‘not’ down to owners; Isak and Guimaraes would have moved to ‘party city’ under Mike Ashley
If you didn’t instantly whip your top off when Newcastle won the Carabao then you just don’t get it. And this was absolutely ‘not’ a triumph for the owners.
Man Utd ‘oil tanker turning’ and ‘season changing’…all the way up to 13th
There’s some Man Utd giddiness in the media after the Reds beat one of the worst teams in the Premier League.
The worst England squad take? ‘Tuchel has gone for experience over youth in direct contrast to Southgate’
Gareth Southgate was famously all about youth over experience for England so it must be tough having to look at that first Thomas Tuchel squad announcement.
Jude Bellingham career ‘ended’, ‘Marcus Rashford feelings known’ and other guff
When social media = news, you get all kinds of nonsense about Jude Bellingham and Marcus Rashford…
Liverpool ‘furious’ after PSG Champions League ‘antics’ as Man Utd make ‘glaring’ stadium error
Liverpool are out of the Champions League, which you’d think might be a big enough story for everyone not to need to make up any extra guff about.
Not even Ratcliffe’s ‘furious rant’ can keep ‘angry’ clash between Liverpool pair out of the news
When Sir Jim Ratcliffe and Man Utd are so intent on dominating the headlines, it apparently gives free rein to report whatever you want on Liverpool.
Did Bruno Fernandes ‘effectively end Arsenal’s title hopes’? Did he balls
How many times can a title race be declared over? And does anybody think that Bruno Fernandes’ goal played any part at all in their failure?
Manchester United implode as Amorim ‘slams’ pair with Liverpool in line for points deduction and ‘rule change’
Manchester United are in crisis again with Ruben Amorim and Bruno Fernandes having to break it up between Rasmus Hojlund and Diogo Dalot.
Which Liverpool player is ‘furious’ after an Arne Slot ‘masterstroke’?
It’s hard to give too much credit to Liverpool boss Arne Slot unless you are really very clever, but who will be ‘furious’ about Alisson being brilliant?
Liverpool points deduction, angry Pep, six Arsenal records, and other things that don’t f***ing exist
Some shameless crap about a Liverpool points deduction kicks off a Mediawatch that contains an alarming amount of disingenuous bollocks.
Man Utd laugh in face of Rashford ‘slam’ as he proves not to be a total…
The idea that Marcus Rashford is trouble has long been a click machine; some will contort themselves to get Man Utd fans on board…
Amorim ‘rant’, Fletcher ‘antics’ but Zirkzee ‘spot’ takes the biscuit
Ruben Amorim delivered the calmest ‘rant’ in Man Utd history, while there were the exact opposite of ‘touchline antics’ from Darren Fletcher…
Man Utd car crash season explained by two atrocious transfer ‘green lights’ ahead of Palmer signing
Man Utd are clearly having a crash car season because of all these abysmal transfer ‘green lights’. And the truth is out on Erik ten Hag v Cristiano Ronaldo.
Liverpool somehow avoid ‘full-scale disaster’ but still play second fiddle to Man Utd
Reel in shock as you spot which national newspaper leads their sports coverage with the clash between two teams who started the night in 15th and 18th…
Rashford and Antony recall options remain fictitious despite new reports and feelings made clear
Apparently we’re still all out here pretending Man United could or should recall Antony and Marcus Rashford from their loans.
Liverpool have won ‘stagnant league’ but Salah a ‘shoe-in’ for Ballon d’Or
Liverpool winning the Premier League in February is a sign of dark, dark times, and yet Mo Salah is up there with Messi and Ronaldo. Go figure…
Keane issues worst ever ‘warning’ to Liverpool after Salah shatters all the records
It turns out Liverpool would be ashamed if they suddenly start being rubbish and Arsenal simultaneously pull themselves together to overhaul an 11-point gap.
Liverpool ‘crisis’ continues: Slot slams ‘lazy’ Nunez in ‘savage attack’ before striker ‘bites back’
Arne Slot launched a ‘savage attack’ on ‘lazy’ Darwin Nunez and the Liverpool forward continued their ‘war of words’ on social media. This is a ‘crisis’.
The Sun drool over Liverpool ‘full-scale disaster’ of eight-point gap
Liverpool are still the form team in the Premier League but forget that…this has the potential to be a ‘full-scale disaster’…
Arsenal ‘blow’ as Newcastle do not want to sell best player SHOCK!
You will be shocked and stunned to discover that Newcastle are not going to sell Alexander Isak to Arsenal on the cheap.
Thomas Tuchel: England’s ‘absentee manager’ is ‘based in GERMANY’ and spending time with his KIDS
Thomas Tuchel has been spending some time with his children despite being England football manager, and because the world is insane this is very serious and bad news.
Postecoglou aims ‘dig’ at Amorim ahead of Manchester United’s ‘brutal’ 12-player clear-out
Ruben Amorim will sell 12 players and replace them all in one ‘brutal’ transfer window, including Antony after Manchester United ‘recall option explored’.
You will not believe Van Nistelrooy’s one-word message to Keown and Arsenal over Man Utd ‘hostilities’
Ruud van Nistelrooy has opened up old wounds between Arsenal and Manchester United with his frankly shocking one-word ‘true feelings’ on Martin Keown.
Arne Slot ‘blocked’ as Liverpool ‘hidden truth’ of Premier League table emerges
The fall-out from Everton v Liverpool in the media has seen some pretend Arne Slot was silenced by the Premier League or his own club…
Arsenal ‘fresh injury nightmare’ leaves them with no strikers as Harry Kane ‘transfer verdict’ revealed
Kai Havertz will be delighted to know that his injury setback – sorry, nightmare – has seen him upgraded to Proper Striker status after all.
Arsenal to ‘axe SEVEN’ but still can’t afford Jean-Philippe Mateta
Arsenal are about to AXE seven players and that should fund a ‘huge’ spending spree. Will it be William Saliba? Not quite…
Man Utd fans ‘enraged’ as Reds STILL worse than actual Man City
It turns out that Man Utd are STILL not as good as Man City. Who’d have thunk it? But they’re loads better than Borussia Dortmund…