Why it would actually be ‘a bad thing for Arsenal to win the league’
Arsenal have to not win the title to prove the point that nobody but Man City can win the title apparently…
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Gareth Bale ‘arriving at Man Utd’ just as Casemiro has an ‘offer’ to leave?
We look at the Man Utd guff in the media so you don’t have to; first, let’s watch as Neil Custis discovers the meaning of substitutes.
Rio Ferdinand ‘incident’ masks Joe Cole’s weird Chelsea transfer message
Chelsea are going to struggle to sign good players in the Europa Conference League, but a Rio Ferdinand ‘incident’ is understandably dominating the news.
Bellingham offer explained as Liverpool hatch transfer master plan for Dortmund midfielder
Liverpool have suddenly withdrawn their interest in Jude Bellingham. Except this is all part of a masterful transfer plan and everyone has been reeled in.
Dele Alli needs help, not the usual despicable and dangerous reporting from reckless churnalists
Dele Alli might be absolutely fine. Dele Alli may need help and support. But one thing is for sure: he deserves so much better than this shameful reporting.
Chelsea latest: Lampard panic ‘makes perfect sense’ before orgy ban, awkward Keane reunion
The rush to justify Frank Lampard’s interim appointment is as fun as the clamour to report on a permanent Chelsea manager. But first, a slice of humble pie.
Chelsea to appoint Frank Lampard after he reminded them he existed!
Frank Lampard watched Chelsea on Tuesday night and now he ‘could’ be their caretaker boss even though the job doesn’t exist.
Todd Boehly to appoint new Chelsea boss on basis of 18-month-old Ronaldo April Fool?
Todd Boehly has made some odd Chelsea decisions but none would be odder than appointing Luis Enrique on the basis of a Rob Dorsett tweet about Ronaldo from 2021.
Graham Potter ousted for ‘shiny new toy from Germany’ as British media reacts
Chelsea sacking another Englishman for a German? Silly Chelsea, they were supposed to ignore the sh*tness.
Arsenal ‘problem players’ would have been handled properly by Ten Hag instead of Arteta dallying
Roy Keane named three “problem players” at Arsenal two and a half years ago but Mikel Arteta is no Erik ten Hag so a couple of them remain at the ...
Marcus Rashford rubbished ‘complete nonsense’ hours before headlines landed
Marcus Rashford probably thought 5.30pm was early enough to hold the back pages but he was wrong…
Arsenal have the best player in the WORLD but also grave concerns over next season’s kit
The international break is almost over, so it’s time for punchy Bukayo Saka opinions, brutal putdowns and Zinedine Zidane mischief.
Manchester United to appoint Kylian Mbappe in striker advisory role?
For a man who never mentions Manchester United, Kylian Mbappe does a lot of advising Manchester United on strikers.
Marcus Rashford being ‘on holiday’ pi**es off everybody but Gareth Southgate
Marcus Rashford had the gall to grab a break after getting injured and pulling out of England duty. If he can walk around New York…
Kane faces bizarre question as England goalposts predictably moved against ‘barely competitive’ Italy
England finally delivered that Win Over A Big Nation but actually Italy aren’t all that. And besides, there is a bizarrely-timed Harry Kane question to ask.
Man Utd signings inevitable after double boost over £200m strikers, with Ten Hag to ‘break Klopp rule’
Randal Kolo Muani and Harry Kane have pretty much been announced as new summer signings by Man Utd, while Erik ten Hag is daring to ignore Jurgen Klopp.
Mo Salah sensationally shunned as Premier League stars warned NOT to celebrate goals
International breaks are hard for everyone, but it really does seem to be low tide in Content Bay this mid-lull Wednesday. Mediawatch is feeling bleak.
Arsenal injuries ‘piling up’ but ‘huge boost’ means Premier League title in bag
‘Trouble is brewing’ at Arsenal, who will be forced to play the same XI that battered Palace. But then a man is in pain, which is a ‘huge boost’…
Is Bukayo Saka the new Wayne Rooney? Of course he sodding isn’t…
Bukayo Saka is 21 and Wayne Rooney was also 21 when he won his first Premier League title and that’s enough for some people…
Arsenal suffer Gabriel Jesus blow as title challenge comes crashing down because of foolish Arteta
It was fun while it lasted for Arsenal but Mikel Arteta ignored Chris Sutton so Gabriel Jesus only managed one half and their back-up right-back is injured.
Journalist doubles down on baffling Liverpool claim, TAA penny drops and bizarre Bellingham question asked
There is a bizarre Jude Bellingham question and the penny has finally dropped with Trent Alexander-Arnold. But one baffling Liverpool take is repeated.
Liverpool face MIDFIELD CRISIS with FOUR ruled out and a major Champions League problem spotted
Four ‘first-team stars’ are missing in Madrid for Liverpool, who also face a three-goal-deficit crisis, while wacky Pep Guardiola has fans in stitches.
West Ham battling relegation because of fan boos, not Moyes wasting £170m and ignoring Scamacca
With goal difference separating their team from the relegation zone, West Ham fans will be thrilled to learn they are to blame, not the board or David Moyes
Erik ten Hag somehow to blame for Casemiro red as Quadruple dreams in tatters
Erik ten Hag should have ‘dropped’ Casemiro like Paul Scholes advised (hmmm) and then maybe the title race would still be on.
Man Utd get green light over club-record striker signing after shocking Weghorst revelation
The ‘Man Utd players driving cars’ goldmine is yet to be fully excavated but the biggest possible Old Trafford news comes from a club-record signing boost.
How are fourth-placed Tottenham a ‘distant sixth of the big six’ and yet still deluded?
The media want to put Tottenham in their place and berate the fans for wanting more while calling for Antonio Conte to be sacked. It’s confusing.
Marcus Rashford leaves house, drives £280k car JUST DAYS after Man Utd lose 7-0 at Liverpool!
Thought we might move on from Sunday? No chance. Not while the Mail are spotting Marcus Rashford leaving his house rather than sitting alone in the dark.
Watch the Bruno Fernandes ‘almighty wobbler’ as Lisandro Martinez schools Salah
If you think that is an ‘almighty wobbler’ then you have never seen a toddler as the Bruno Fernandes untruth takes hold.
The Manchester United Quadruple nonsense is over for the ‘unstoppable juggernaut’
Manchester United might not win the Quadruple after all. It’s almost like it was all absolute bollocks…
Man Utd have a ‘Casemiro problem’ which could stop ‘unstoppable juggernaut’ winning Quadruple
Erik ten Hag has a ‘Casemiro problem’. Man Utd cannot afford to rest the Brazilian, who was famously in and out of a trophy-hoarding Real Madrid side.
Manchester United Quadruple: ‘There’s still work to do’ on 11-point gap to Arsenal
Manchester United are now just 100/1 to win the Quadruple so ‘there is still work to do’. You don’t say…
With Casemiro, Rashford and Ten Hag Manchester United basically have a quadruple in the bag
It’s just more Manchester United Quadruple talk, we’re sorry to report. Mediawatch is already very tired – maybe West Ham will do us all a favour later.
What could possibly stop Manchester United winning a quadruple?
Manchester United have won the Carabao Cup so obviously they will win three more trophies, starting with the FA Cup – which is practically in the bag.