Alexander-Arnold gets ‘two-word message’ and ‘brutal mockery’ on ‘shocking’ Anfield return
It’s no surprise to see Trent Alexander-Arnold’s unhappy return to Anfield dominating the headlines, or that a lot of said headlines are nonsense.
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Reel in shock as Ronaldo does NOT think Messi is the GOAT!
Has Wayne Rooney had a ‘dig’ at Cristiano Ronaldo? Has Cristiano Ronaldo ‘hit back’? No and no, and yet here we are.
Lord knows how Erling Haaland has 13 goals; Man City ‘do not create enough chances’
When Erling Haaland is not showing his ‘true colours’ by taking a bath, he is somehow scoring 13 goals despite Man City lacking creativity.
Arne Slot ‘repeating Brendan Rodgers mistake’ as Liverpool CRISIS deepens further
If there was any doubt before, there can be none now. Liverpool are the designated crisis club and absolutely everyone is putting the boot in.
Liverpool handed Marc Guehi ‘transfer update’ from unlikely source as injury list grows by three
There are very real and very important updates on Marc Guehi’s transfer status from a top source, among the rest of the usual Mediawatch nonsense.
Arsenal told to ‘be more PSG’ as Liverpool ridiculously urged to drop Van Dijk
Arsenal and the rest of the Premier League are boring one journalist while another wants Liverpool to drop their captain.
Arsenal make ‘huge decision’ on captaincy as Neville doubts progress
In the quest for spicy Arsenal news, we are led to believe that a ‘huge decision’ has been made about the Arsenal captaincy.
Slot accused of obvious Newcastle point and ‘dangerous game’ as Howe ‘hits back’ at Liverpool
Arne Slot has probably been lost in translation, but is also just right if not. He is playing a ‘dangerous game’ at Liverpool and Eddie Howe has ‘hit back’.
Mo Salah leaves teammate ‘raging’ as Klopp advice on family snap emerges
Florian Wirtz is fuming, furious and raging at Mo Salah, who would get humiliated by Jurgen Klopp for posting a family photo.
‘Crazy’ Arsenal prove Champions League credentials, just like Wimbledon, as Liverpool hit by ‘dig’
Arsenal are just like Wimbledon in the 1980s, because nothing could be more Wimbledon in the 1980s than a 4-0 Champions League win over Atletico Madrid.
Two Arne Slot actions ‘speak volumes’ as sack question asked
You thought you knew Arne Slot? Just wait until you hear what he did on holiday in Dubai.
The truth about the ‘bombshell’ Liverpool return claim Jurgen Klopp has ‘dropped’
Jurgen Klopp has dropped a perfectly-timed Liverpool ‘bombshell’ by basically just reiterating something he has said numerous times before about returning.
Mbeumo probably furious after ‘secret’ – and also completely pointless – Manchester United mission leaked
Bryan Mbeumo has been working on a ‘secret’ Manchester United mission for ages but it’s public knowledge now, while Liverpool are always transfer geniuses.
Match of the Day ratings ‘PLUMMET’ (except they really haven’t)
Fewer people are watching Match of the Day than ever before (because fewer people are watching TV than ever before).
England book World Cup place ‘despite’ Tuchel ‘backlash’ from ‘riled’ supporters
It is literally impossible for the England ‘focus’ to be on anything other than the fan ‘backlash’ at Thomas Tuchel even after qualifying for the World Cup.
Is Jude Bellingham ‘circus’ approaching ‘stick it up your bollocks’ time?
Thomas Tuchel, Jude Bellingham, a ‘circus’ and an exhortation to ‘be more Roy Keane’. How is that going to help?
Man Utd and the ‘shock’ £60m transfer exclusive that’s nothing of the sort…
Manchester United are being linked with a ‘shock’ £60m Manchester United transfer that’s no ‘shock’ at all.
England ‘underdogs’ claim debunked as Thomas Tuchel gets ‘dangerous’
‘It is still a bit too early to start thinking about a victory parade’ writes one England tabloid man, while others are mad about Thomas Tuchel.
Media ‘making things up’ about Jude Bellingham again…
‘The last thing Thomas Tuchel wants is for outsiders to stir up tensions,’ writes a man doing exactly that with Jude Bellingham.
Neville a ‘traitor’ and Postecoglou sack imminent to bafflement of Daily Mail
We cannot yet, unfortunately, move on from the Gary Neville moral panic because the Daily Mail are still being entirely ridiculous about it.
Sky Sports make sack decision over ‘deluded’ Gary Neville and his ”racist’ outburst
Gary Neville has picked the wrong kind of free speech. His ‘deluded’ rant and ‘most dangerous lapse into self-parody’ has prompted a Sky Sports sack call.
Gary Neville facing Sky Sports sack after ”racist’ outburst’? Obviously bloody not
There are some silly Liverpool messages and agreements but the big problem is the MailOnline’s atrocious reporting of that Gary Neville ‘outburst’.
Bellingham AXED and DROPPED in ‘baffling’ call after Tuchel ‘REFUSED’ shock request
Jude Bellingham has been both AXED and DROPPED by England after Thomas Tuchel REFUSED an obvious request. Gareth Southgate has some shock Man Utd demands.
Arsenal join fellow Big Six clubs in CRISIS as ‘Champions League problem laid bare’
It’s all going wrong for everybody, with Liverpool now apparently in the grip of a ‘mini-crisis’ and even Arsenal still beset by familiar woes.
Ekitike ‘breaks silence’ as Liverpool ‘cracks’ deepen for crisis-riddled table-toppers
Liverpool lost a football match last night, so naturally it is now a crisis with silences being broken and cracks deepening as far as the eye can see.
‘Lonely’ Ruben Amorim throws a party amid ‘drastic’ U-turn. Or something.
Manchester United manager Ruben Amorim has been ‘speaking volumes’ with his decision to go ahead with a party that wasn’t his party.
Why Mikel Arteta ‘has to look at himself’ and his ‘mentality muppets’
Arsenal beat Newcastle United but a man who thinks Mikel Arteta is The Deluded One still has to have a dig.
Spurs ‘could’ sign Palmer, Vinicius and De Jong with three players somehow surviving £1.2bn spree
Spurs are definitely about to sign stars from Chelsea, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid and Barcelona while keeping Djed Spence and his penitentiary at left-back.
Look how smug Eddie Howe is about his ‘masterstroke’ for Newcastle…
Newcastle United beat Bradford City 4-1 and that really does prove a ‘masterstroke’ from Eddie Howe.
Ekitike learns his fate after ‘stupid’ red card while a ‘Premier League legend’ lands surprise new role
Everyone’s having a lot of fun with Hugo Ekitike’s ‘stupid’ red card, while there’s some sad news about a different kind of red for Cole Palmer.
Mohamed Salah, a Ballon d’Or fourth-placed ‘snub’ and the ‘wrath’ risked
Mohamed Salah was ‘overlooked’ and ‘snubbed’ as the best footballer on the planet was NOT the Liverpool man!
Pep Guardiola ‘in danger’ of becoming both Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger
Now you might think that Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger are quite different, but that’s to misunderstand Pep Guardiola.
Rashford U-turn confirmed after Amorim somehow receives ‘pointed message’ from ‘toxic’ star
Barcelona weren’t ‘remotely interested’ in ‘toxic’ Marcus Rashford, but a ‘subtle dig’ at Manchester United and a ‘pointed message’ to Ruben Amorim later…