Slot teaches Van Nistelrooy and Guardiola must ‘learn to accept defeat’ like Klopp and Ferguson
Ruud van Nistelrooy has a lot to learn from Liverpool manager Arne Slot, while Pep Guardiola should show ‘grace’ like Jurgen Klopp and Sir Alex Ferguson.
More Articles
Pep Guardiola ‘hand gesture’ as Liverpool title prediction emerges
You will be shocked to learn that computer says Liverpool will win the Premier League, especially after Pep Guardiola’s ‘hand gesture’.
Van Nistelrooy infuriates managers, ‘bonkers’ Amorim and Slot is the next Paisley
Future Leicester manager Ruud van Nistelrooy is coming over here and taking our jobs, while it is so difficult not to see Arne Slot as the next Bob Paisley.
Ruben Amorim indulges in ‘loving’ SLAPS as Man Utd training session turns ‘bizarre’
Ruben Amorim has changed things at Manchester United; now training sessions have a touch of the old bondage…
Culture wars, ref justice and how the league might look if Mo Salah didn’t exist
Depressing stuff from the Telegraph heads Mediawatch before some more light-hearted guff about ticket farces and Mo Salah not existing lifts the mood.
Full-kit swankers at Mail as Ruben Amorim hotel gets the usual treatment
The Mail love to take us ‘inside’ the swanky hotel where Ruben Amorim is staying, as we discover how he REALLY rates his Manchester United players.
Ruben Amorim ‘spotted’ being both calm and not calm for Man Utd
Ruben Amorim has been ‘spotted’ being animated and also doing nothing as he managed Manchester United. More as we get it.
Guardiola contract ignored as more digs at Rashford take back-page precedent
Pep Guardiola extending his Manchester City deal is a back-page splash on any day, never mind during a sleepy international break. But Marcus Rashford…
Why did Gary Neville invite Marcus Rashford ‘glitzy US trip’ nonsense?
“I’m not hammering him,” said Gary Neville, before embarking on criticism of Marcus Rashford that was always going to escalate.
Ruben Amorim secures early ‘victory’ over Arne Slot as sacking ‘demanded’ and subtle messages sent
You might not have heard, but Ruben Amorim is the new manager of Manchester United. And quite literally nothing else is getting a look in now.
Ruben Amorim ‘has very own whistle’ as he calls time on Antony
Ruben Amorim has been taking Man Utd training and he has a big red coat and ‘his very own whistle’. But the big olds is that Antony is for sale.
Harry Kane a ‘pantomime horse’ as Lee Carsley hands over England ‘dossier’
Barney Ronay is sticking with his schtick on Harry Kane despite any and all evidence while Lee Carsley acts like an actual employee.
How did England win without Aaron Ramsdale or Jarrad Branthwaite?
England beat Greece 3-0 on Thursday night to really p*** off national newspaper men. WHERE WAS THOMAS TUCHEL? Probably at home, chaps.
GERMAN sparks ‘humiliating farce’ as England players withdraw…
Remember when England players never withdrew from international duty under Gareth Southgate? Blame Thomas Tuchel…
Lineker and Shearer disagree on ideal MOTD replacement as Man City are written off
Gary Lineker’s impending departure as Match of the Day presenter is being treated like a manager sacking and it’s all getting a bit much.
Amorim Man Utd honeymoon over with ‘concerns raised’ as Tuchel wastes ‘precious time’
The football press pack knew precisely which German football manager they wanted to write about today, and it isn’t the one everyone is now talking about.
‘Angry’ Mikel Arteta ‘furiously blasted’ Arsenal players, did he? Did he balls.
Look at Mikel Arteta, ‘furiously blasting’ his Arsenal players while appearing really quite calm. Plus, what did you see at Man Utd?
Ruud van Nistelrooy demoted as Manchester United ‘bar set low’ for Amorim all of a sudden
‘Much more of this and Manchester United could withdraw their contract offer and give the job to Ruud van Nistelrooy instead.’ But ‘much more of this’ did not come.
Arsenal ‘crisis’ talk sparked as Thierry Henry talks in seven-word riddles
Arsenal crisis talk called premature by man who starts Arsenal crisis talk, as Thierry Henry says seven ‘telling’ words; we just don’t know which ones.
The insane annual circus of Poppygate was kickstarted by Daily Mail opportunism
Not for the first time, poppies make a November appearance in Mediawatch on an apt day to note just how mad the media-confected shaming festival is.
Ruben Amorim ‘joke’ fails to land as English press take him seriously
‘I’M NOT THE NEW FERGIE’ screams one back page. You would think the English tabloids would recognise a joke when they see one.
Ruben Amorim ‘rinsed’ Bruno Fernandes as Man Utd urged to sack off eight
Ruben Amorim has ‘rinsed’ Bruno Fernandes so it’s a surprise that he is not among the eight that Man Utd must lose this summer…
Man City facing ‘haunting parallels’ to Man Utd banter era
Manchester City are definitely going to fall apart exactly like Manchester United. How will they replace all their ageing players?
Sod Amorim: Manchester United are back, Ruud’s at the wheel and history is repeating itself
A ‘huge concern’ has emerged over Ruben Amorim but Manchester United might not mind because Ruud van Nistelrooy is the latest interim revelation.
Amorim and his imminent Man Utd unveiling open rifts in the very concept of time itself
A Ruben Amorim-dominated Mediawatch sees new levels of headline mischief-making and questions asked of our most basic understanding of the flow of time.
Man Utd’s ‘hell of a brains trust’ praised for ‘intelligent’ gamble which will cost another £25m
Man Utd deserve pelters for keeping Erik ten Hag but Ruben Amorim is a ‘sensible’ and ‘intelligent’ choice by the man who brought Eddie Howe to Newcastle.
Klopp ‘would have found a way to win’ against Arsenal as boring Slot costs Liverpool
Arne Slot should have gone ‘crazy’ like Jurgen Klopp definitely always used to when inspiring Liverpool to win Big Six games. ‘Tame’ Mo Salah didn’t help.
‘Boring’ Mourinho sells newspapers again as 6-1 Spurs win caught in crossfire of delirium
Jose Mourinho had his best chance at revenge over Man Utd scuppered but it is not entirely clear who by. Spurs supporters might have something to say.
‘Stain on Manchester United’ is now ‘craved’ as Jose Mourinho gets balls tickled
The UK media was happy to tickle the balls of Jose Mourinho in a ‘masterful’ display that was just like Robert De Niro.
Man Utd face ‘tricky task’ beyond even Sir Alex as ‘bold’ Ronaldo reunion prediction made
Aston Villa are riding the crest of a Champions League wave and Arsenal are back to winning ways, so of course the biggest football news is Man Utd fluff.
Arsenal ‘bad news’ as Premier League title chances remain largely stable
‘Bad news’ for Arsenal as their chances of winning the Premier League are basically exactly the same as they were three months ago…
Arsenal one-in-five title chances destroyed thanks to ‘record’ red cards
The media is pretending that Arsenal’s red cards are the reason why they won’t win the Premier League title.
Prepare to be ‘baffled’ by FA’s ludicrous reason for Howe ‘snub’ as White words twisted
England did not ‘snub’ Eddie Howe; they decided not to pursue a managerial candidate they could not afford. And that is apparently ‘baffling’.