Elon Musk to tie down Liverpool Contract Three after buying club, says Elon Musk AI tool
Daily Star writers continue their journey towards oblivion with Elon Musk, while the Mirror just make up some quotes and the Sun take liberties.
Mediawatch
Ruben Amorim repeats Sir Alex ploy as Marcus Rashford gets ‘message’
What has Ruben Amorim done now? Well he’s repeated something Sir Alex Ferguson ‘practically pioneered’ of course…
Yoro clashes with Ronaldo but different Man Utd teammate gives Rashford dreadful ‘advice’
Marcus Rashford may ignore some frankly awful Man Utd advice to make a ‘shock’ Premier League move, while Leny Yoro is busy arguing with Cristiano Ronaldo.
Man Utd transfer medical booked kerching as Rashford eyes ‘reunion’
Man Utd ‘seal first Ruben Amorim deal’ would be compelling if it were true, while we’re supposed to believe Marcus Rashford craves some Dele Alli love…
Arteta playing ‘mind games’ while Man Utd get ‘hijacked’ on pretend transfer
While some members of the media pretend that Mikel Arteta has got het up, others pretend that Man Utd have £80m to spend.
Manchester United exposed as Amorim and Neville ‘speak volumes’ while £97m pair show ‘true colours’
What do Ruben Amorim, Casemiro, Lisandro Martinez, Gary Neville and a Liverpool fan have in common? They all ‘spoke volumes’ in the Manchester United draw. Raging bull There is little doubt…
Arne Slot > Sir Alex as Marcus Rashford ‘not ruling out’ actual employers
Arne Slot has basically done Sir Alex Ferguson in just one season, as Marcus Rashford is ‘open’ to fulfilling his actual Man Utd contract.
Arsenal dream of truly ‘unbelievable’ four-man transfer spree after first deal ‘sealed’
It’s January, and that means pretending Arsenal are about to sign FOUR new players to give them a ‘stunning’ starting XI by the time February rolls around.
Mo Salah ‘not happy’ after ‘huge update’ that’s not an update at all
Mo Salah provides a ‘huge update’ while Trent Alexander-Arnold is like some sort of pigeon, sending and receiving messages.
Rashford slammed for taking ‘flamethrower’ to Amorim relationship as ‘era of tough-nut footballer’ dies with Walker
Marcus Rashford saying he is open to leaving Manchester United has boggled minds. Kyle Walker being ‘the game’s last genuine hardman’ is weirder still.
Ruben Amorim and the 14 words that created Marcus Rashford ‘big, big headlines’
Ruben Amorim battled through two press conferences without criticising Marcus Rashford and then the last question did him…
BREAKING: Marcus Rashford delivers presents to school, announces intention to leave Man Utd
Fair to say there’s really only one story in town on this damp Wednesday morn. That’s right: Marcus Rashford delivered some presents to a school.
Pep Guardiola sack? Behave yourselves; this is not a Man Utd crisis
Stop the press because there’s a one-in-10 chance Pep Guardiola will be the next manager out! But the good news is that Mykhaylo Mudryk is banned.
Shock as Ruben Amorim ‘watched’ Marcus Rashford ‘GET DRESSED’
Ruben Amorim explained why he dropped Marcus Rashford and The Sun’s takeaway: He watches his players GET DRESSED.
Rasmus Hojlund goes ‘MAD’ as Man Utd boss gets ‘ruthless’ in Plzen
If you are calling that Rasmus Hojlund/Amad Diallo row a ‘furious bust-up’ then you have never lived. Meanwhile, did YOU see Ruben Amorim getting ruthless?
Man Utd NOT ‘writing off’ £80m despite Ruben Amorim ‘progress off the pitch’
Are Manchester United ‘writing off’ £80m by selling Marcus Rashford? Are they balls. Plus, Ruben Amorim has a watch…
‘Angry’, ‘fuming’ Slot fumes angrily in ‘brutal’ volume-speaking ‘four-word dig’ after Liverpool ‘win’
Arne Slot is absolutely raging after Liverpool’s 1-0 win at Girona, while there are volumes being spoken all over the shop today.
Cole Palmer makes his depressing move into football superstar celebrity official
Cole Palmer has long since revealed himself to be really quite good at football. But the Chelsea maverick is a superstar with the ‘Wag’ SEO treatment now.
‘Where’s the beef?’ Questions asked after Dan Ashworth ‘frogmarched’ out (perhaps)
Dan Ashworth was ‘frogmarched’ out of Man Utd (in retrospect, perhaps) while the Arsenal past is rewritten to suit the 2024 narrative.
Sancho (and Beckham) ‘true colours’ shown in pathetic Manchester United reporting
Jadon Sancho did not have the best relationship with Manchester United but the club should be furious on his and David Beckham’s behalf at recent headlines.
Ruben Amorim ‘verbally exploded’ in ‘vicious’ attack on one Man Utd man
Ruben Amorim ‘bellowed’ in a ‘vicious verbal explosion’ on Wednesday night at the Emirates. It obviously speaks volumes.
Arne Slot is just a lucky general at Liverpool as ‘European giants’ forced into big change by FIFA
Arne Slot is not as good a Liverpool manager as Jurgen Klopp, but not for the obvious reason , while The Sun are busy just redefining words.
Slot teaches Van Nistelrooy and Guardiola must ‘learn to accept defeat’ like Klopp and Ferguson
Ruud van Nistelrooy has a lot to learn from Liverpool manager Arne Slot, while Pep Guardiola should show ‘grace’ like Jurgen Klopp and Sir Alex Ferguson.
Pep Guardiola ‘hand gesture’ as Liverpool title prediction emerges
You will be shocked to learn that computer says Liverpool will win the Premier League, especially after Pep Guardiola’s ‘hand gesture’.
Van Nistelrooy infuriates managers, ‘bonkers’ Amorim and Slot is the next Paisley
Future Leicester manager Ruud van Nistelrooy is coming over here and taking our jobs, while it is so difficult not to see Arne Slot as the next Bob Paisley.
Ruben Amorim indulges in ‘loving’ SLAPS as Man Utd training session turns ‘bizarre’
Ruben Amorim has changed things at Manchester United; now training sessions have a touch of the old bondage…
Culture wars, ref justice and how the league might look if Mo Salah didn’t exist
Depressing stuff from the Telegraph heads Mediawatch before some more light-hearted guff about ticket farces and Mo Salah not existing lifts the mood.
Full-kit swankers at Mail as Ruben Amorim hotel gets the usual treatment
The Mail love to take us ‘inside’ the swanky hotel where Ruben Amorim is staying, as we discover how he REALLY rates his Manchester United players.
Ruben Amorim ‘spotted’ being both calm and not calm for Man Utd
Ruben Amorim has been ‘spotted’ being animated and also doing nothing as he managed Manchester United. More as we get it.
Guardiola contract ignored as more digs at Rashford take back-page precedent
Pep Guardiola extending his Manchester City deal is a back-page splash on any day, never mind during a sleepy international break. But Marcus Rashford…
Why did Gary Neville invite Marcus Rashford ‘glitzy US trip’ nonsense?
“I’m not hammering him,” said Gary Neville, before embarking on criticism of Marcus Rashford that was always going to escalate.
Ruben Amorim secures early ‘victory’ over Arne Slot as sacking ‘demanded’ and subtle messages sent
You might not have heard, but Ruben Amorim is the new manager of Manchester United. And quite literally nothing else is getting a look in now.
Ruben Amorim ‘has very own whistle’ as he calls time on Antony
Ruben Amorim has been taking Man Utd training and he has a big red coat and ‘his very own whistle’. But the big olds is that Antony is for sale.