10 Football Things We Hate ft. Michael Owen

Date published: Thursday 1st January 1970 12:00 -

10 Football Things We Hate ft. Michael Owen

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The Defoe School Of Transfers
I’m starting to think that Man Utd’s transfer policy can only be explained by Jermaine Defoe logic: each one they miss out on makes it more likely that they’ll get the next.
Richard (studying the Gambler’s Fallacy page on Wikipedia for clues) Pike

A Defence Of LVG
I’ll defend LVG on this Pedro deal.
He’s awesome and would have done a great job at United. LVG though is between a rock and a hard place. Sign another foreigner and a youngster loses his spot. I for one want to see him give our talented young lads a chance. I.e Pedro signs, Januzaj gets no game time to develop.
We have fast wingers in him, Young and Memphis. A striker is needed. I’d take Berahino!
Russ (Man Utd fans are weird this season. Relax, we are an evolving team and getting there)

Is Pedro Just A Goalscoring Navas?
I’m curious, just how good is Pedro? Is he the real deal or is he just another Navas who scores a bit more? Which, lets me honest, wouldn’t be bloody hard! Anyway, if someone has seen him play a lot please let me know if he is any good. As my knowledge is limited to a few Champions League and World Cup games.
Marcus…. London.

No Love For Poor Theo
Can anyone explain to me where Theo came up with his “self worth” hypothesis? Yes its highly likely Pedro chose Chelsea over United. Its not the first time we have lost players we were chasing and it won’t be the last time. We were beaten to Ronaldinho, Essein and just a couple of seasons ago Hazzard & Lucas Moura. So United losing out on a player is hardly a new occurrence.
Then to the million dollar question, what about a backup plan? You mean a plan like playing the young players like Januzaj, who we already have on our books? Maybe giving a talented youngster like Andreas Perrera some game time? That sounds like a good plan to me. You do understand you can promote your talented academy players right? Coz if your a Chelsea or City fan, you might not be aware of that possibility.
So on to the standard ABU complain “self-proclaimed ‘biggest club in the world”. Given every other business (yes football is a business now), are so honest & every company openly states that their competitor is larger and provides better products. Oh right nobody does & everyone claims they are the largest & the best. Its called promotion, so hardly a United only phenomena.
However the cherry on the cake was Theo foolproof explanation about “United’s lack of status” & “lack of attraction of playing for” where he quotes two players Aguero and Silva who signed for then footballing giants Manchester City. Yes Theo they were attracted by Citys status etc, not the piles of money the Sheikh offered them.
Most United fans understand we are one of the top 4 clubs in England, we don’t expect to sign Messi and Ronaldo, instead are thrilled with talented youngsters like Memphis & the occasional treat like Schweinsteiger. We don’t assume its our god given right to win the title, rather we only ask that the team competes for the title & plays entertaining attacking football.
JB, (Budhaditya, I prefer Depay, Januzaj, Mata). MUFC

I’m going to hazard a guess that Theo is either a City or Liverpool fan going by the garbage he wrote in the mailbox and I am going to rise to the bait…
Yes United have been going through a bit of a rocky period but to suggest that we are only a “top four club in England and no more” takes the biscuit, we are still streets ahead of ANY other English club when it comes to appeal, commercial success, around the world support etc etc. I could go on but what’s the point in stating the bleeding obvious?
Fergie left the squad in a state of decline, especially the midfield (which has been discussed to death), Agent Moyes then came in and took the club to it’s knee’s, ostracising our senior players and elevating Rooney to demigod status for some unknown reason. Van Gaal was left to pick up the pieces and try to build a competitive team again, yes we have spent a vast amount of money, not all successfully, but what else should the club do? Accept mediocrity and do nothing? Do me a favour.
United will be back, I have no qualms about that, it may not be this season but we will be sticking it to the likes of Chelsea and City again soon, you can be sure of that.

Dear Theo,
United and its fans do have an inflated sense of self-worth. And I tell you what contributes to it ? Rival club fans like you who write in essays focused at what’s happening at United rather than your lovely club…
Sandy (big head MUFC)

‘A Hadouken Of Crap’
Wow, that was a Hadouken of crap aimed at United in this morning’s mailbox. If quick responses are permitted…
1) Please stop referring to supposed interest in players as gospel rather than gossip. I’ll wager there’s more of a chance of a Wenger/Mourinho love-in than United enquiring for new-5-year deal-and-Spurs-fan-boy Kane.
2) I don’t remember anyone screaming we should prioritise Pedro. We dallied and the Mane bid was put in a week ago, so the club obviously didn’t either. I agree, I would have had him, and it’s frustrating he’s gone to Chelsea, but suggesting we should have bought him just because he’ll improve Chelsea is just flat out silly.
3) LVG is not digging his own grave with the transfer “shenanigans” of de Gea (wants to leave, United standing firm) di Maria (never wanted to be here, we got £45m), RVP (a 32 year-old striker not scoring goals on £200k a week off the wage bill) or Rafael (a lovely boy but a liability, replaced with Darmian).
4) Even if United did have an inflated sense of worth (and I’m not getting into all the players who didn’t sign and why) you don’t get treated like a big boy if you’re not prepared to act like one. Long way to go obviously, but yeah, the team seems really unsettled with those 3 wins out of 3.
5) What the hell is a LVG fanboy? Every fan I know either dislikes him and his style but is prepared to accept it because of results so far, or doesn’t know quite what to make of him yet and is pretty sure if the things he says were coming out of Moyes’ mouth he’d be ridiculed.
6) You can’t say that Carrick is 34 and doesn’t have the legs then suggest with a straight face that we should build the team around him. That’s straight out of the Ferguson “screw who plays in midfield next year, I’m off anyway” handbook.
7) I think even Taibi would think comparisons are harsh on Romero.
8) What in the flying-Tatsumaki-Senpu-kyaku did Rooney do to Silvio Dante?
David P (may have been playing SFII recently) Manchester

10 Football Things We Hate
1. Barcelona’s Hoop kit
2. Michael Owen’s punditry
3. Transfer rumors
4. The powers that be at United taking all the good work built up by Alex Ferguson over the past 25 years and throwing it in the garage over a few of seasons
5. Michael Owen
6. Footballers “signature” goal celebrations
7. Stoke away
8. The fact that Pirlo plays in the MLS and not the Premier League
9. Continued inability to understand the offsides rule
10. New season predictions that don’t start with- Champions: Liverpool
Brian (Honorable mention: Manchester United fans) LFC

MC – ‘The’ MLS? That ‘the’ is top of our list. Tut tut.

Austin To United Bandwagon
Do United need another midfielder/winger who’ll knock in a few goals, like Pedro or Mane? Not so much – they have those.
Do United need an out-and-out striker who was 4th on the scoring charts last term despite playing for a team that was absolute bobbins? Yes, they ruddy well do.
Is said striker available? Yes, he is. Imagine Charlie Austin, his rugged good looks and that lovely bushy beard, banging them in at the Stretford End. Lovely. You’re welcome LVG.
Tiny (anyway, Pedro looks like Nicolas Sarkozy) Tim, Cheltenham

The Biggest Club In The Land
It is interesting to see all the ABUs coming out in force to bash United after we missed out on Pedro. Do you suppose they realise that it is people like themselves that make us the biggest club in the world?
Chelsea pull off a great last-minute signing of a world class player, and not a single email about them appears in the morning mailbox. No one really cares how much oil money has been spent this week, or how quickly the new man will adapt to his new defensive duties under Mourinho.
Instead, a host of emails about Manchester United, with fans from across the spectrum queuing up to criticise or defend the biggest club in the world.
Good times or bad, it seems we will always be under the brightest spotlight of world football.
Long may it continue!

Mata > Pedro
If we have learnt anything about United under van Gaal it’s that they’re better playing 4-3-3 rather than 4-2-3-1 and that Mata is particularly standout when they play said formation.
So to answer the question of who I’d rather have behind Rooney, as posed in this morning’s Mailbox, a trio of Young/Mata/Depay or of Depay/Mata/Pedro I say neither: I’d rather have a trio of Carrick/Schneiderlin/Herrera behind a front 3 of Depay/Rooney/Mata. So who gets dropped for Pedro, Mata or Depay? A new forward is certainly required but I wouldn’t want to drop Mata for Pedro.
Offer me Reus or Griezmann and maybe I’ll reconsider but not Pedro. He’s obviously a great player but he’s no Sanchez. He won’t do the unexpected or produce a moment of magic like Depay and Mata. United’s best football last year came through Herrera and Mata combining and that’s the way forward this year too.
He’s basically a better Chicharito who plays out wide; great movement, great finishing, not much else. And yes I’m aware of how many assists he has but how many were 5 yard passes to one of Neymar/Suarez/Messi who then did something special?
Basically I wasn’t sure about Pedro when I though United would sign him, I wouldn’t have been upset had he stayed at Barcelona, and the only reason I feel a little upset is that he’s gone to Chelsea. A proper striker is a much bigger concern (not sure about Kokorin either though) and hopefully Woodward was over in Spain to watch Laporte (he wasn’t though).

We Interrupt This Mailbox For…
Dear Man United, Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool, Spurs and Arsenal.
Please, PLEASE, will all of you just **** off and leave us alone.
Southampton Football Club (Simon Goddard)

Cunning Foxes
Dear MC,
I was looking through the transfer365 list today and noticed that Gokhan Inler has joined Leicester for £5m. IN f*cking LER!1! Wow! What a great signing that looks! What I can’t understand is why we didn’t take a punt on him ourselves but fair play to Leicester.
JazGooner (Surely the most even Premier League there’s been?)

Blocking Out The H8rs
If you have doubts over signing Mane…fear no more.
Here’s a comprehensive list of players Manchester United have purchased from the Premier League who have failed to be a success….
Tony Coton, Mark Bosnich, David Bellion, Ben Foster, Tomas Kusczack, Rickie De Laet.
Here’s the list of successes…
David May (Hero), Andy Cole, Edward Sheringham, Henning Berg, Dwight Yorke, Rio Ferdinand, Louis Saha, Alan Smith (There was an 8 game period where he kept us in the title hunt), Wayne Rooney, Edwin Van Der Saar, Michael Carrick, Carlos Tevez, Dimitar Berbatov, Antonio Valencia, Michael Owen (That goal), Chris Smalling, Phil Jones, Ashley Young, Robin Van Persie (20), Marouane Fellaini, Juan Mata, Luke Shaw, Morgan Schneiderlin (presumption).
It would be fair to say some of our best business has been to pluck those from smaller Premier League clubs and give them a platform to excel.
Even Van Gaal said earlier in the week that he is more confident in Scheniderlin that Schweinsteiger due to his Premier League experience. It counts for a lot more than the doubters seem to be giving credit for.
Lee Hammond

Keep Chapman On MOTD2
I’d like to chip in about Mark Chapman on Match of the Day 2, and agree in principle that he would be an excellent choice for the main gig. There is, though, a problem.
Chapman’s strength, as Jay says, is his ability to challenge pundits to justify their points of view and push them to go into depth on the big issues. MOTD2, however, is the best platform for this because they normally have more time for discussion, because there are less games to show.
I’m not fan of Gary Lineker, who for me is smug, comfortable, and says things like: “Great result for Newcastle that, isn’t it Alan?” merely acting as a prompt for the pundits to start talking. But that’s really all he has time to do. If you had Chapman on MOTD, he would probably be wasted because he wouldn’t have time to press Alan Shearer (who is improving, to be fair).
If they put him on MOTD the producers might nullify and bland-ify him to just be the prompt, and Chapman is a more talented presenter than that. So let him keep the MOTD2 gig for now, which is an infinitely more watchable, good-humoured, better-produced programme than its Saturday night counterpart anyway. And yes, what a lovely beard.
Chris (Colin Murray was was absolutely fine) MUFC

Ed Woodward Is A Genius
?Got Ramos a new deal
Got Pedro to chelsea
Got Otamendi to man city
Currently working on a new deal for Muller!!
maxiveli,calabar.(LVG must be smoking something. Never tested for snubbing Pedro for Mane!!)

Tache Talk
Sturridge’s mustache looks like he drew it with a pencil.
Girish (May or may not have something to do with my first time ‘stache), AFC, Chennai

Yeah, Not Quite.
Your fascinating ‘PL Players Not Even On The Bench…’ article reminded me of the time that Emmanuel Mayuka was included in the Guardian’s Top 100 players in the world list. No really!
Based on the selection panel, it seemed to be solely based on the opinion of respected football journalist trying Jonathan Wilson. Who quite clearly enjoys making the odd statement or two.
Steve Ince, Derby

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