The Football Book Club reads…Alex Morgan’s ‘Breakaway’

Forget the latest bestsellers or Booker Prize winners! The Football Book Club podcast are the only book club who instead read another footballer’s autobiography every week.

This week, it was the turn of USA Women’s superstar and now Spurs striker Alex Morgan.

Everyone’s banging on about America at the moment. So it seemed only right that we at The Football Book Club podcast added a great, American, soccer (sigh) story to our journey through footballers’ autobiographies.

We’re already the only people ever to read Marcus Hahnemann’s Premiership Diary. And sadly Brian McBride’s ‘Always The McBridesmaid Never The McBride’ doesn’t exist because I just made it up.

So instead we decided to read a genuine US soccer superstar’s book and – in doing so – read our first ever women’s football autobiography. Spurs Women’s brand new striker Alex Morgan’s ‘Breakaway’ – colon – ‘Beyond The Goal’.

Most people in the UK will remember Alex for pretending to drink a cup of tea when she scored against England in the 2019 Women’s World Cup. A high-brow nod to the Boston Tea Party, in much the same way Robbie Keane’s cartwheel celebration paid tribute to the Storming of the Bastille.

But for those who somehow don’t know who she is, basically, she has about a billion followers on social media. She’s mates with Taylor Swift. And she’s a genuine soccer superstar. She’s like a good Jozy Altidore.

Her book is also a pretty good read. Although, as we found out halfway through, it turns out it’s half-autobiography, half-inspirational guidebook for American teenage girls.

So what effect would it have on a group of four, disenchanted Brits either side of their thirties? Here’s three things we learned from ‘Breakaway’:

 

Alex Morgan is irritatingly good at everything

About 30 pages into the book I was plunged into a crushing depression when I realised I will almost certainly never achieve half of the things Alex has done. Which for a book that’s meant to make you believe you can do anything you put your mind to is a pretty bad start.

On the pitch she’s won two World Cups, three league titles and a women’s Champions League which, to be honest, I’ve made my peace with never winning for several obvious reasons.

But even away from the pitch she’s good at everything. And not in a way like Memphis Depay thinks he’s good at everything. Actually good.

She’s fluent in Spanish. She’s studying a political science degree. PLUS, she’s already written about 30 books! All by the age of 25.

By my count, she’s written a total of 14 fiction and non-fiction books. Either way, that’s even more than Alan Brazil, and he seems to release one every other Christmas. So if she can stay ahead of the Brazil curve, she’s doing well.

 

Alex’s dad gives excellent parking advice

Every chapter in the book has a little Aesop’s fable-style synopsis at the end, containing a bit of advice along the lines of ‘always believe in yourself’ or ‘be more Alan Brazil’.

However, the best bit of advice belongs to Alex’s dad, Michael, who passed on the following advice when she was learning to drive.

Picture the scene – you pull into a Tesco carpark, where do you park? In a slot between two cars? In a spot where there’s no cars around? Or go to a corner where there’s a car on one side and a divider on the other?

Previously, I’d go for the empty bit every time. However, as Michael confirms, I’m a damn fool. Instead, you should always go for the divider side, as this way you’re halving your chances of being crashed into. And he’s absolutely right.

Yes, it’s incredibly dull. And in the following paragraph in the book Alex writes off her Lexus. But this is genuinely going to stick with me forever. Far more than any wise words we read in Lorenzo Amoruso’s ‘LA Confidential’.

 

Apparently, there’s such a thing as an Olympic goal

As good as the book is, there are a lot of American soccer-isms in the book. Soccer-isms like…

‘A one nil lead is good, but it’s not a slam dunk’ (shudders)

‘Kicking the ball into your own team’s goal is called an own goal, and it’s always awful when it happens.’ (very true)

‘The Canadians were going to get a free kick. It was a long kick, and we were just too much of a swarm’ (no idea).

All very hard to stomach. However, we did learn something when Alex describes an ‘Olympic Goal’. Which is, apparently, the name of a goal scored directly from a corner with no touch.

Previously I had always referred to them by their British name, a ‘fluke’. But now I’m all the wiser.

Overall, it’s a good book. And even though we’re not the target demographic by any stretch of the imagination, Alex is genuinely inspirational.

By the end of the book even I thought I stood a good chance of acing my SATs, getting a place at Stanford and marrying the high-school quarterback.

And I’m 30 and pulled my shoulder putting on hair conditioner in the shower last week. So thanks Alex, for making this man believe in himself again.

 

Class football autobiography checklist

Ridiculous 80s hair on the front cover? No, great hair
Does she talk about herself in the third person? Nope
Does Roy Keane turn up? Sadly not
Did you learn anything meaningful from the book? Yes. To always believe in myself and park my car properly

Overall – Four Imaginary Cups of Tea out of Five

 

The Football Book Club Series 2 is now available on all podcast platforms. They release a new episode every Monday with books for this series including Jerzy Dudek’s ‘A Big Pole In Our Goal’ and Grant Holt’s ‘A Real Football Life’. We can also be found on TwitterInstagram and Facebook.

James Bugg

James Bugg is a writer for TV and radio shows including Horrible Histories, Dead Ringers and The News Quiz. He is also the host of The Football Book Club podcast.