Arsenal ‘crisis’ talk sparked as Thierry Henry talks in seven-word riddles

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Bukayo Saka
Bukayo Saka

Arsenal crisis talk called premature by man who starts Arsenal crisis talk, as Thierry Henry says seven ‘telling’ words; we just don’t know which ones.

 

Thierry Henry identifies…
Mediawatch had to laugh when we saw the actual top story on the MailOnline football site:

Thierry Henry tells Arsenal they’re not challenging for the title and identifies what the Gunners are ‘not good enough’ at, with concerns ahead of trip to Chelsea

First, obviously Henry did not tell Arsenal anything of the sort; he told CBS Sports Golazo.

Second, we’re pretty sure that Arsenal already know they are not currently challenging for the title; they can access Premier League tables just like Thierry Henry.

And as for ‘what the Gunners are ‘not good enough’ at’…according to Henry on this particularly astute occasion, that is getting results away from home.

And as Arsenal have won only one of their last six away games – against Preston – we suspect that Arsenal will not be shocked by this insight that has been ‘identified’ by Henry.

In fact, we would go as far as to say that they would not be remotely interested in anodyne comments that could have been uttered by anybody with access to a list of results and a Premier League table.

But still, it’s definitely the biggest story in football right now.

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SEVEN!
Taken from the same quotes, here’s the take from football.london:

Thierry Henry makes telling seven-word Arsenal prediction as Mikel Arteta demand made

This is some excellent trolling because there really is no obvious ‘seven-word Arsenal prediction’ in Henry’s comments. And it’s never mentioned once in the story that there are seven important words. So we can only guess.

Narrowing it down to a prediction, when Henry was asked how Sunday’s game v Chelsea would go, he answered: “I don’t know what we’re going to…”

There is more but we stopped at seven words.

So it could also be “the results are not good enough to” or “I don’t think it’s good enough but” or “let’s see what happens against Chelsea. I”.

Do any of those qualify as a ‘telling seven-word prediction’?  Perhaps it’s “it’ll be extremely difficult because there’s too” or “I don’t see two teams collapsing. That’s.”?

Or it could be that some bod at Reach – the same one that suggested that all journalists should produce at least eight stories a day, perhaps? – has decided that seven is the magic, telling number, and no f***er is as pedantic as Mediawatch to actually count them.

 

Crisis? What crisis?
Over at the Daily Telegraph, Luke Edwards is constructing a straw red-and-white man and is busy tearing it down…

There will always be a temptation at Arsenal to overreact to any sort of setback and there are bound to be those who wish to use a second successive defeat for Mikel Arteta’s side to provoke that sort of response.

You will see and hear all sorts of damning assessments over the next 24 hours. Words like crisis, ineptitude and failure will fly around.

Mediawatch has Google at its fingertips (it’s very good, you know) and the ‘Arsenal crisis’ query brought up two recent results:

‘No ‘massive crisis’ – Martin Keown insists Arsenal ‘way better’ despite UEFA Champions League loss to Inter Milan’ – TNT Sports.

‘Yes, Arsenal lost – but they dominated Inter and this is just a blip, not a crisis’ – Telegraph.

So far, the only real talk of an Arsenal ‘crisis’ is coming from Martin Keown and Luke Edwards saying there is no crisis.

So what of ‘Arsenal ineptitude’? No recent Google results.

And ‘Arsenal failure’? The only thing close is this – ‘Inter Milan vs Arsenal: Mikel Arteta’s side fail to rediscover their spark’ – from The Times.

In fact, we have taken a good look across the football media – it’s our job – and the Arsenal coverage largely boils down to ‘something’s not quite right but Martin Odegaard’s return will solve a lot of that’.

But Edwards was not just talking about the mainstream media; he predicted ‘there will be an explosion of noise on social media, as people launch themselves into the sort of frenzied inquest that trails in the wake of a third defeat in six games’.

So we searched ‘Arsenal crisis’ on X. The top result:

Crisis? Ineptitude? Failure? Those words belong to Edwards and pretty much nobody else.

There is a hint of #ArtetaOut trending, but social media has always had its idiots and those who shout loudest are the biggest pricks with the bluest ticks, which is how we think the old proverb goes.

It’s a waste of time addressing those idiots so we presume Edwards is talking to the ordinary fans, none of whom will be seeking the sack of a brilliant if obviously flawed manager. And if they were, they would not be consulting the Telegraph’s resident Newcastle man first.

So, yes, Arsenal lost again, but take a deep breath. Do not be the panic-button presser or the attention-seeking ranter.

Excellent advice, Luke. Maybe next time take your own deep breath.

MORE ARSENAL COVERAGE ON F365
👉 Mikel Arteta proves Martin Odegaard more important to Arsenal than him after Inzaghi lesson
👉 Mikel Arteta slams referee over Mikel Merino ‘punch’ as Arsenal boss explains half-time hook
👉 Seven Arsenal signings made by Edu who could join Nottingham Forest include £106m flops

 

Oh what a shame…
So this might not be the worst piece of churnalism you will see today but this is a fine example of the lengths certain publishers will go to find a headline that could possibly bang on an aggregator or social media. This is a headline made for Google Discover, where clickbait headlines can be rewarded with ludicrous traffic.

Chelsea boss Enzo Maresca admits three Blues stars can’t play together – ‘I feel a shame’

Sounds like such a massive admission that we are surprised we have not seen it elsewhere but on Mirror football.

And the article even begins: ‘Enzo Maresca admits he has been left feeling ‘shameful’ after failing to fit stars worth £135m into his Chelsea team.’

The problem? Enzo Maresca did not admit any such thing.

Here’s what he did say: “I feel a shame for Joao and I would like to give him more minutes in the Premier League, but we need defensive balance and we cannot play with Joao, Cole [Palmer], Christo [Nkunku]. I’d like to put all of them on the pitch but then you need to defend, and you need the right balance.”

Clearly, he means that he feels sorry for Joao Felix; English is not his first language and ‘It’s a shame for Joao’ has come out as ‘I feel a shame for Joao’.

I know, you know and the Mirror’s Daniel Orme definitely knows that’s not the same thing as ‘feeling a shame’ and absolutely nowhere near the same thing as feeling ‘shameful’.

Is Maresca going to sue because they said he feels ‘shameful’? No. Does it hurt anybody? No. Is it essentially deceitful and indicative of the malaise in journalism as a whole that makes us feel a bit f***ing depressed? God yes.

Mediawatch Thierry Henry

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