Send your thoughts to firstname.lastname@example.org…
Given all this hilarious nonsense and fuss being made over Laurent Koscielny – a nothing player might I add, who has never won a league title in his career, or a European trophy, let alone even participated in an international tournament…it brought home just what an absolute morass of a mess Arsene Wenger left not just in terms of culture, but in terms of squad valuation. People (rightly) talk about the value Pochettino and Klopp can add to players. When you think of Klopp, you look at the soaring values of Mane, Robertson, TAA, Van Dijk, Salah etc. With Pochettino you look at Kane, Eriksen, Son, Alli etc….
By contrast, have a cursory glance at Arsenal’s main players and their market valuations. This is the squad the “top manager” (who is still unemployed! Wow) Arsene Wenger left behind.
Cech: left now but has been worth about a tenner since the minute Mourinho happily sold Wenger a virus. The clue was Jose willing to sell to his hated “rival”
Koscielny: Signed for £10m, achilles is shot, has been worth about £5m since Alex McLeish’s Brum side destroyed him in the Carling cup final. Head turned by the mighty, errr, Bordeaux! Says it all.
Monreal: worth zilch. Was good about 6 years ago.
Bellerin: is actually a mediocre right-back but is young, so worth more than he was bought for tbf. Isn’t a very good defender at all but can be saved.
Holding: Arsenal fans go on like he’s the next Paul McGrath. Lots of promise but has one big injury now and has proved nothing beyond a handful of decent one-off matches
Mustafi: Hahahaha. Signed for £35m by Arsene “cannot compete with oil money or Leicester City” Wenger. Cannot be sold for a pack of Haribo but collects £90k p/w.
Kolasinac: How can a free transfer be a rip-off? £120k per week for this ridiculous farce that still cannot clear the first man with a cross from 5 yards out. Or defend.
Jenkinson: “But he’s an Arsenal fan”! And this is exactly why you should leave it to the pros, and not rely on grabbing the first fan you find having a kickabout in a pub league. £50k p/w for a toilet brush.
Calum Chambers: signed for £16m, not even Boro would keep him after his loan, went to Fulham and was outstanding, merely holding together a defence that leaked only a record 81 PL goals! May be worth a fiver.
Ozil: Just wow. Awarded £350k per week by Wenger. More chance the NHS would get that £350m per week Boris Johnson lied about, than Ozil ever being considered a serious footballer ever again. Joke.
Xhaka: dear Lord. Signed for £37m the same summer Kante went to Chelsea for £6m less. A perfect summary of Wenger’s ineptitude and the “cannot compete with oil money” b.s
Mkhitaryan: another one Wenger decided to award £180k p/w. Cannot pass, shoot, track, run, be sold or given away, Armenian league football may be a step up too hard for him.
Elneny: signed by Wenger for £5m, on wages of £55k per week. Christ. Was offered to Palace as part of Zaha transfer, upon which Palace added an extra £10m “insult fee” to Arsenal’s cash offer
Iwobi: I think he might have potential somewhere but let’s be honest. Wouldn’t currently get in the Southampton team. Somehow earns £35k p/w.
Lacazette: the only signing of the lot with any resale value. Excellent player, could fetch over £50m. Surrounded by so much dross, you simply can’t cash in on him.
Aubameyang: excellent player, great goalscorer. Wenger was barred from involvement in negotiations for his transfer in Dortmund, which would explain how it all went so smoothly.
So there you have it. I haven’t even included the fact that it was Wenger that allowed Aaron Ramsey’s contract situation to become so farcical he was permitted to run it down until his final season and hold all the cards. Or the fact that it was Wenger who at the last second, fearing a fan backlash, pulled the plug on Alexis Sanchez’ agreed £60m transfer to Citeh after he’d had a medical and everything. £60m that could have gone into club coffers, but that ended up being spaffed up the wall, with the added “bonus” of paying Mkhitaryan’s ridiculous wages.
So to all the pathetic Arsenal MAGA muppets wailing about losing another of Arsene’s world-class Losers like Koscielny, and asking why “Arsenal have no money” to spend, look to the real reason. It’s obvious (I BLAME OBAMA AND HILLARY!)
Stewie Griffin (Tottenham, in their first season after moving to a new flash stadium have broken their transfer record and signed two excellent players. I thought this wasn’t allowed eh Arsene? You. Were. All. Conned.)
I would take up the baton from Mikey, CFC on the subject of not paying players who refuse to train, play, turn up etc. and take the punishment a step further.
The maximum fine allowable by the FA at the moment is 2 weeks wages for a significant offence. So if they refuse to travel on tour, they should get fined 2 weeks wages on the Monday. If they haven’t shown up on Tuesday, fine them another 2 weeks wages. Same on Wednesday and so on until it starts to actually hurt their bank balance. As they are free to do what they want after the day’s work has been done, the next day constitutes a separate breach of contract, so they can’t claim that it all the same offence. If it is stipulated in the contract that they can be fines 2 weeks wages for any offence, then there isn’t a chance of them getting around it.
Enjoying the conversation about sanctioning striking players but I’m really not sure that stopping paying as Mickey, CFC suggested will have any massive effect. In most cases, striking players are looking to push through a deal to a bigger club where they will see their wages will double or treble, so will losing a couple of weeks or so’s wages really put them off when they know they will be in the money once they get their move – may work lower down the ladder where players get more “realistic” salaries and need to pay the mortgage.
The way to hurt them, make it clear that if a player goes on strike, they will be ineligible to play first team football for their new club (or current club) for a period of double the period they went on strike. So if Player A announces on July 1st that he is on strike and finally gets the move he wants on deadline day, he has been on strike for 6 weeks. Deal goes through but his registration is withheld or limited by the FA (or FIFA) for a period of 12 weeks. He gets his move and can train with the new club but he cannot play for the first team in any competition until those 12 weeks are up.
With such a rule in place, both player and buying club may think twice about persuing the strike route as both know he won’t be available for X weeks. Would a club really want to pay for a player they can’t use before Christmas and would a player take the chance than in those weeks that his new team play well and he can’t break his way in?
Tom, AFC, whilst I understand your passion for your club and appreciate what you want them to do, your email has all the hallmarks of a typically entitled Arsenal fan.
There are a number of issues with your email, the biggest one being that somehow, you know better than the successful businessmen running Arsenal. Likening it to denying climate change is the analogy of a moron, frankly.
It’s essentially a “look at me, I have an opinion on a subject I know nothing about, but I’m still going to try and prove I’m right by showing how woke I am”, ah the age of the internet.
Like me, and pretty much 99.9% of F365 visitors, you know nothing about how to run a football club, how to stop climate change (the debate still rages) or indeed how to support a club that has been in the upper echelons of English football for donkeys years.
Perhaps all those teams who finished below Arsenal this year are all climate change deniers, holocaust deniers and MeToo critics according to your criteria?
Get a grip pal, you support Arsenal, deal with it, most of us don’t even come remotely close to the level of success Arsenal has had over the years, let alone this season.
Fat Man (yes it’s friday, let’s all get rid of that self-righteousness ready for Sunday’s Cricket and GP)
I’m loving these lists!
GK Carlo Cudicini – This legend was plucked from Serie C1, played over 200 games and kept 97 clean sheets, won 2 PL titles. 2 League Cups and 1 FA Cup. Disappointed to see he’s lost his coaching position under the gaffer but hoping he stays with the club in some capacity.
CB César Azpilicueta – When Dave signed from Marseille, Chelsea fans expectations were so low no one bothered to learn his name. 7 great seasons later a shoe in for club captain this year.
CB Gary Cahill – Started the 11/12 season playing with Bolton and finished it winning the Champions League, went on to win everything at Chelsea and was rated by every manager by Mr Sarri.
CB John Terry – Chelsea’s most successful academy graduate of all time, no one has come close to making the leap since, Captain, Leader, Legend.
RWB Jose Boswinga – Has there ever been a more successful footballer with a unibrow?
CM Frank Lampard – When the gaffer signed from West Ham most people were sceptical, went on to win every major honour at Chelsea, all time top goalscorer and a legend. Great to have him back.
CM Raul Meireles – Hardly set the world alight during his time at Liverpool, a really strange signing at the time who went on to play a part in the Champions League campaign.
LWB Graeme Le Saux – Makes it in because of his off field over achievements; he went to university, read the Guardian and visited museums…as a footballer…
RW Eidur Gudjohnsen – 7 time Icelandic footballer of the year, the Ice Man signed from Bolton to little acclaim and won 2 PL titles and 2 League Cups.
ST Didier Drogba – Drogba was written off as a prima donna (justifiably) because of his penchant for diving in his early Chelsea years but really turned it around to become our greatest ever striker (sorry Gianfranco). Without a doubt we would have lost that Champions League final had it not been for him.
LW Gianfranco Zola – Picked up for less than £6m, captured the hearts and minds of supporters from all clubs, amazingly skillful, faultless technique and just a great little guy. Appeared in Renford Rejects and released a line of pizzas with Tesco, great scenes.
Owen – Cork
Having seen the recent spate of ‘Disappointment XI’s I thought I’d throw a Spurs one into the hat. Having to go with a slightly unorthodox 3-3-4 formation to fit in the vast number of them that were forwards.
GK: Pau Lopez – was brought in on loan for no reason, and never played. The disappointment is more retrospective as he has since done well in Spain and now earned a move to Roma.
DF: Serge Aurier – seemed to have great pedigree having been at PSG. Question marks were over his attitude, but we didn’t realise those concerns would be overshadowed by a lack of basic positional sense or even the common sense not to keep diving into tackles in the box.
DF: Vlad Chiriches – I genuinely saw him described as ‘the Romanian Thiago Silva’ once. Had a great touch and ability with both feet. Sadly didn’t know a lot of the basics of defending, like being aware of danger, or actually being in your own half when required, which doesn’t really work as a centre back.
DF: Fazio – got very excited when I saw a video of him punching Diego Costa in the ribs in Spain. Unfortunately we discovered he moves at the speed of an elderly man carrying a fridge.
MF: Paulinho – goodness me. Arrived with great fanfare as a Brazilian playmaker, turns out that his strengths were not in passing, or dribbling. He was occasionally decent at arriving in the box and scoring a header or something, but I felt he might have been better served as a striker than a midfielder. Sealed his fate by ducking while in a defensive wall – this is England, and we all know you can’t get away with stuff like that. He just didn’t want it enough, Jeff.
MF: Lewis Holtby – I thought he was fantastic and the disappointment here was that he didn’t make it for some reason. Always felt he worked hard and had good ability but we just ended up offloading him to Hamburg. Still not sure what happened there. I think there were just too many players in front of him, like Eriksen, Sigurdsson, and bloody Paulinho.
MF: Nabil Bentaleb – although not really a signing as he came through the youth system, he looked like he had real class when he broke through, someone who could be a midfield lynchpin for us for a long time. Unfortunately it appears he had attitude problems and Poch wasted little time shipping him out when that become apparent. Real shame.
RW: Clinton N’Jie – he was fast. Really fast. That’s about it really.
FW: Vincent Janssen – signings from Eredivisie are always a coin toss, but he really has never looked the natural finisher he was supposed to be. I remember he missed a good chance to open his account against Palace, and confidence was all gone after that. Unreal to think he’s been at the club three years already.
FW: Roberto Soldado – was supposed to be the answer to all our striking problems. He worked really hard and his all round play was outstanding, but the goals would just not come, which was a constant source of disappointment for the fans, who I think appreciated the work he was evidently putting in. Ultimately his lack of goals partially led to Kane breaking through so at least there was a silver lining. He was good at penalties, mind.
LW: Giovani Dos Santos – arrived as a highly-tipped prodigy from Barcelona. I watched him in a pre-season friendly, absolutely tore Roma apart, and I consequently went out and got his name on the back of my replica home shirt. He then proceeded to do absolutely nothing for us at all and see out several loan spells before quickly disappearing to Spain. I still occasionally wear that shirt to play football, to much hilarity.
Foyth – looks like another Chiriches in the making at the moment, but I hope I’m wrong. A good loan spell could sort him out.
Rasiak – I guess the saving grace was that we had no expectations of him doing well in the first place, but why the hell did we sign him? Rubbish.
Postiga – remember this guy? Looking at his career, his time at Spurs with practically no goals was just a blip in an otherwise moderately successful career.
Taarabt – had all the skill to be the next Zidane, but without the work ethic or fitness to match.
Rebrov – we’re going back a bit now, but wow, spending money on strikers really doesn’t work for us does it?
Bent – see above.
Olly Cole, THFC (at least our best striker of the last 20 years cost us £0)
A way to get rid of thugs/agents
Why not ban agents and agencies. Instead, install a FA run committee that oversees negotiations for players?
Oh, what? That won’t line FIFA’s pockets you