Arsenal have a fool-proof Champions League plan as Harry Kane ‘overruled’

Editor F365
Mikel Arteta and Harry Kane
Mikel Arteta and Harry Kane

Arsenal will win the Champions League as long as they ‘avoid’ the teams that are better than them. And Harry Kane has been overruled.

 

I dreamed a dream in days gone by
‘Mikel Arteta admits Arsenal already dreaming of Champions League glory at Wembley… despite their WOEFUL last-16 record – The Sun.

That’s quite the ‘admission’. How did they get that out of him?

And how ludicrous to think they could advance in the Champions League when seven years ago, an Arsenal side featuring Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Aaron Ramsey, Nacho Monreal and Shkodran Mustafi got absolutely battered by Bayern Munich?

It’s almost like Arteta knows he manages the third-favourites to win the Champions League and not what was the fifth best team in England.

‘Despite’? F*** the f*** off.

 

Arsenal can win the Champions League: A plan
At the other end of the scale, the Mirror are telling us that this could be Arsenal’s year:

Why this is Arsenal’s time to win the Champions League – despite Man City and Real Madrid challenge

Well let’s hear it. We know Arsenal are third favourites but Manchester City are the reigning champions and are unbeaten in 16 games, while Real Madrid have only lost once – in extra-time – since September. And they have something of a storied Champions League history. You might have heard about it.

Arsenal are currently enjoying their first Champions League campaign since 2017 and despite having never won the trophy in their history, Mikel Arteta’s men could finally taste glory this campaign with a host of European rivals far from their best

Well they could. But there are at least two European rivals who have a better chance. As detailed above. But let’s give them a chance…

Reigning European champions City – fresh from a 3-1 first leg win in Copenhagen, are the bookmakers’ favourites, unsurprisingly. But Pep Guardiola has never retained Europe’s premier club crown.

Zinedine Zidane is literally the only man who has retained Europe’s premier club crown in modern times.

Habitual winners Real Madrid are always among the contenders, even in a season where Carlo Ancelotti’s men are going without a recognised striker as they wait on Kylian Mbappe. Jude Bellingham and Vinicius Jr are filling the void quite nicely thus far.

They have four players in double figures for goals this season, including Rodrygo, who starts almost every game as a striker.

Avoid those two and Arsenal could potentially be onto something.

Oh. That’s the plan, is it? It’s ‘their time’ as long as they somehow avoid the best two teams. Genius.

Mirror man Daniel Orme then details the weaknesses of Bayern Munich, Barcelona, PSG (‘it would not be a surprise to see that pressure cause the French side to crumble, as they have done so often in the past, as soon as they meet someone of similar stature’), Inter Milan and the rest, but does not seem to spot the slight flaw in his argument.

Which of those chumps is going to beat Manchester City and Real Madrid if Arsenal are going to ‘avoid’ them?

READ: Predicting every Premier League club’s next manager: Mikel Arteta to Manchester City

 

Sh*thouse headline of the day
‘Harry Kane set for reunion with Tottenham…but only if England DON’T win Euro 2024’ – The Sun.

It’s a friendly. In August. And Kane ‘would surely miss the exhibition in Korea due to a post-tournament break’.

It’s a c***’s trick.

 

Everybody wants to overrule the Kane
Elsewhere, a report in BILD detailing that Thomas Tuchel (leaving Bayern Munich this summer) had supporters and detractors in his squad has predictably been pounced upon by the British press, casting Harry Kane as a major player.

According to MailOnline:

REVEALED: Harry Kane ‘is at the centre of a 12-man split in Bayern Munich’s dressing room’ – with Thomas Tuchel confirmed to leave at the end of the season after dismal run of form

Are they quoting anybody with those quote marks? Are they balls. Do BILD report that Kane is ‘at the centre’ of anything? Not really. Quite understandably, their focus on who is leading a revolt against the now-interim manager, namely Thomas Muller, Joshua Kimmich, Leon Goretzka, Matthijs de Ligt, Mathys Tel and Serge Gnabry.

Of course Kane is largely pro-Tuchel, he was brought to the club by the German. But he’s only been there two minutes and is not ‘at the centre’ of anything at all; that would be Bayern stalwart Muller and his gang.

But the very worst comes from GB News, who have employed former Express click-king Jack Otway to be a one-man football nonsense machine:

Harry Kane ‘was overruled by Bayern Munich chiefs’ with striker keen for Thomas Tuchel to stay before sacking

‘Overruled’!

Yes, that’s right; Kane decided that Tuchel should stay and then Bayern Munich vetoed that decision. Do they not know who he is?

 

Catch up Grandad
The Sun reacts to Tuchel’s sacking with a round-up of the managerial shenanigans expected this summer.

We’re not saying that Martin Lipton is a man from another age but…

Mikel Arteta emphatically denied suggestions that he was ready to leave Arsenal for his homeland. But, in the words of a famous ex-model: He would do, wouldn’t he?

Even if we ignore the fact that the phrase in question was “well he would, wouldn’t he?”, we’re not sure The Sun have got the hang of digital content when the ‘famous’ example cited is 61 years old.