Auf wiedersehen, Jurgen? Forget PSG, Klopp needs his P45

Date published: Thursday 29th November 2018 6:27

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Forget PSG, Klopp needs his P45
So we’ve reached the point where Jurgen Klopp prizes telling a translator he has an erotic voice over preparing his team properly for a must-not-lose game. And he’s getting paid £7m a year for the privilege.

Seriously Jurgen, just go.

There are a number of things wrong with Liverpool at the moment, and all of them stem from the manager. Failure to win any silverwear this season will mean that Klopp goes into next season staring down the barrel of half a decade in charge with nothing to show for it. His back-to-back titles in Germany, that crazy two season spell, is becoming more and more obvious as an anomoly in an otherwise average career. Nobody is expecting Claudio Ranieri to win the league again, nobody thinks Porto will win the CL any time soon or that Wigan will win the FA Cup again, so why do people think Klopp is the man to win trophies at Liverpool?

One of the strangest things about Klopp is his relationship with the majority of Liverpool fans. His mistakes are celebrated. His repeated failures to address problems until its too late are praised. Lets look at Dejan Lovren. This is a player who most fans agree is not good enough as a first choice CB, and who have known it for years. Klopp persisted with him. Klopp had him down as a starter every game. Klopp subbed him off after 30 mins during a torrid display at Spurs and still picked him for the next match. For two years the fans cried out for a new defender, but Klopp refused to budge. Liverpool were shipping nearly 50 goals a season, and still Klopp did nothing. Then, finally, he signs Virgil Van Dijk, and Liverpools defence improves overnight. Remember, Liverpool had lost Cup Finals prior to this and with Lovren as a starter. So how the fans react to Van Dijks signing? They praised Klopp from the rooftops. Skip to Loris Karius. It was bad enough that Klopp refused to address Simon Mignolets shortcomings for so long, but to then turn to Loris Karius as the soluton? Ridiculous. The fans cried out for a new goalkeeper. Klopp refused. Mistakes were made. Still Klopp did nothing. His decision to keep Karius as first choice keeper directly resulted in two goals being conceded in a Champions League Final for goodness sake. And then, finally, Klopp signs a new keeper. How did the fans react? They praised him from the rooftops.

His stubborness to admit his mistakes should be called out. His refusal to act until it is too late should be criticised. His stance over players and signings has directly cost Liverpool the opportunity to win trophies, and yet the fans lap it up. They defend players they know not to be good enough in a show of blind loyalty to a manager who has won them nothing. And in turn Klopp persists with these players until it is too late.

See also: Jordan Henderson.

The other main problem with Klopp, and which is linked to the above, is his extreme arrogance. Its hidden well beneath his shiny exterior, but once you spot it, you can never unsee it. Nowhere is it more apparent than with new signings. This idea that Klopps football is somehow on another level, that it takes time to adapt to, is, quite frankly, utter bo**ocks. Its 11 men kicking a ball Jurgen; you aren’t reinventing the wheel. A perfect example is Xherden Shaqiri’s debut against Southampton in September. He put in probably the best 45 mins of any Liverpool player so far this season. How did Klopp react? He subbed him off at half time. Let that sink in. A manager who barely ever makes a change before the 70th minute subbing off his best player at half time whilst winning 3-0. And the reason? Because he claimed he needed to shore up defensively to “control” the game because of Southamtons threat. They had barely had a shot and Liverpool were cruising. It is truly laughable.

The real reason Klopp subbed off Shaqiri is because he was making an absolute mockery of his claim that it takes time for player to learn his system. Its that simple. Naby Keita was also showing Klopp up for what he was until he (fortuitously for Klopp) picked up an injury whch meant he didn’t have to drop him. For Klopp, it is more important to save face or prove a point than anything else, even if it to the detriment of the team. He has players like Shaqiri and Keita sitting on the bench whilst persisting with a midfield of Milner, Henderson and Wijn, not because it works (that midfield has now lost 4 of the last 5 away in the CL) but because he’s too arrogant to change it. And then, when its too late, and he finally does something about it, what do the fans do? Lap it up.

They say the table doesn’t lie, but when its not even December it certainly doesn’t tell you the whole truth. Look at Liverpools record against the “big” sides they have met so far this season. No wins against Arsenal, City and Chelsea in the league. A loss to Chelsea in the League Cup. Defeat at Napoli and PSG. A last minute, get out of jail win against PSG at home and a victory against a woefully out of sorts Spurs. Do you think its coincidence that recalling Dejan Lovren to the side (for no reason) for the games against Chelsea and PSG has resulted in two 2-1 defeats (having only conceded 5 all season in the league with a Van Dijk/Gomez partnership)? Do you think its coincidence that Liverpool keep losing in Europe with the same 3 in midfield? People say that you shouldn’t criticise a manager, he clearly knows more than you etc….but is that actually true? I knew Dejan Lovren should’ve been replaced as first choice years ago. I knew that Loris Karius want good enough. I knew Alberto Moreno was a terrible player and that Philippe Coutinho needed replacing. The fact that Jurgen Klopp has failed to act upon these things until it is too late should surely be setting alarm bells ringing shouldn’t it?

If Liverpool fans put half as much effort into holding the manager to account as they do to criticising the owners, or players, or preparing “welcoming parties” for team coaches, then the club might actually get somewhere. As it is they will continue to pine for the olden days whilst patting themselves on the back because Klopp used some cheesy soundbite about the “power” of Anfield, or had a beer with supporters after a match and sang a song, and that big fat zero in the Klopps “trophies won” column will become as normal and accepted as his nice, new teeth. £7m well spent.

Auf wiedersehen Jurgen


Mauvaise foi
Schaffensfreude is a word that has permeated in Pop culture and in football these last few years. Maybe it’s time that “Mauvaise Foi” came into the mix. If you’re wondering what that means, please read the emails from Pual, Kent; Minty, LFC and friends. There is no direct translation, the closest is sore loser. Yet you don’t need to lose to have “mauvaise foi”. Just a refusal that anything but your own opinion is correct, even when there is plenty of evidence that prove you wrong. It is much more a state of being.

Yes, some refereeing decision went against Liverpool. But I noticed they didn’t mention the ones that went against PSG. Thiago Silva’s imaginary offside in the first few minutes, Milner not getting sanctioned for his stamp on Di Maria, Henderson’s extremely embarrassing dive in the 40th to win a free kick. I agree that they may not be as severe as Veratti’s foul on Gomez, but they exist. And I could go on with the amount of times I’ve seen Liverpool waste time when they were up by one goal.

These things happen in football and it is why it creates such passion. But only talking about what against you is such… Mauvaise foi.
Guillaume (Let’s also not mention that Liverpool)


Klopp is a cuddly version of Mourinho
Klopp has turned into a cuddly version of Mourinho.  All hoof and chase and no creativity.

He has lost his bottle and is playing percentages keeping it tight and hoping to nick a goal.

Heavy metal football?   More like supermarket jingles.
Maurice (Lovern and Henderson, really Jurgen?) , Dublin. 


Name a bigger bunch of tw*ts?
Dear Ed,

Has there ever been a bigger bunch of tw*ts collected together in one football team than at PSG? Is it the raging sense of entitlement built up through bullying the French league over a number of years or is this the natural conclusion of footballers becoming more unlikeable?

Neymar was equally brilliant (his soft little touch and run one twos are a joy) and equally laughable and embarrassing often in the same move – the rainbow flick where he elbowed his way past Shaquiri before being out muscled, kicking out at him and then grabbing his own face as if he’d been elbowed leaving Shaquiri to actually stop playing to look back at him with ridicule springs to mind.

Veratti is a wonderful footballer who dominated the midfield – and should have been sent off for his challenge on Gomez.

But that’s OK he’ll be booked again for those two tug backs just as Wijnaldum and Sturridge were, no? OK probably those 5 or 6 trips to break up play and prevent the counter? The totting up rule? No? Hmm. Maybe the two other times he jumped in, straight legged with studs showing? Oh OK then. Not even being the first player to scream in the referee’s face after every single decision? Hmm.

The biggest opprobrium should be reserved for Thiago Silva who was immense at the back, winning every header and being on the cover every time Liverpool threatened to get in behind. And also dived more than any other player on the pitch.

Don’t get me wrong, Henderson was guilty of the most blatant dive of the game. A good old fashioned Englishman’s dive where he looked like he had seen some of those Fancy Dan foreigners hit the deck and thought he could give it a go.

But Thiago’s pirouetting through the air anytime anyone made body contact with him at a set piece was sensational and bought everytime.

The next time a defender complains about an attacker winning a decision with a dive someone should show them the video of Thiago clearing the ball down the line and in the same move throwing himself backwards off the pitch like a high jumper to try to claim he was barged by Mane who was 5 yards away. The referee didn’t buy it of course – but let him roll back onto the pitch and get 3 minutes of attention for his ‘head injury’.

PSG were deserving winners but they embody both the best and the worst of a Harlem Globetrotters basketball team and my God they are an appalling bunch of tw*ts.

Lindsay, Dublin.


Kante woes
Just seen the news that Sarri doesn’t think N’golo Kante is technically good enough for his Chelsea side.

Well that has done it. The straw that broke the camel’s back. Never mind the Russian roubles that infested our game, never mind the full kit w*nker antics of John Terry and friends over the years, never mind Mourinho’s odious behaviour, no team in the world can reasonably claim that Lovely N’golo doesn’t fit their side’s style of play and not expect retribution.

I wish nothing but ill will on Sarri and his Chelsea team from now on.

I mean, come on! Having N’golo at the base of your midfield is a free pass to essentially playing in any style you like and overload the advanced players knowing full well you have a master at work to mop up any breakaways. Why try and fit him in somewhere else when he is world class in that DM position?

I know Fernandinho is very good indeed, but imagine just how scary Man City would be if they had N’golo in their ranks instead.

Rob (I love him), Leicester


Some brief Spurs thoughts
Firstly, what sorcery does Pochettino possess that MOUSSA F*CKING SISSOKO is now probably our second most important player? He’s currently playing like Mousa Dembele on loads of speed. Maybe Poch knew all along…

For me, the most impressive aspect of last night’s performance is how there was no panic, no rushing, no worries; just a calmness in possession like we knew the goal would come. And it did.

Yes, we need to win at the Nou Camp to qualify, but Barcelona play away in a Catalan derby three days before, and have another away game against 9th placed Levante four days afterwards. They have qualified top of the group, so what kind of team would you expect them to put out? One with kids and reserves, I would expect. Massive opportunity for us.

Will also be interested to see how Emery approaches Arsenal’s game tonight. Either way travelling to a very combustible Ukraine can’t be ideal preparation for a massive NLD.
Alex G, THFC (who needs Baaaale when you’ve got Sissoko)


Defending the indefensible
Paris supporter here.

I wanted to react to the lot of hate my club faced after yesterday’s victory.

What i wanted to say is… I have to agree. I’m definitely not proud of the way the team behaved.

Neymar seems to be back to his world cup best regarding diving and rolling to the ground (you may not have noticed but he kind of stop doing that in Ligue 1 following his public stoning after the world cup).

Thiago Silva and Verrati were just being Thiago Silva and Verrati in terms of referee harassment and faking injury. Even Mbappé seems to be learning from Neymar in that regards.

It seems that the spirit of Thiago Motta still possesses our players, for good or worst. (had he been there to rot the game on that terrible remontada two years ago we probably wouldn’t have lost 6-1 to Barcelona but that’s another problem).

What i really wanted to point out is, do you actually need this to win the CL ? I genuinly have to ask the question. Look at the list of CL winners from the last 10 years.

Madrid 4 times with uber-villan Ramos leading the line.

Barcelona 3 times, with the MSN and Busquets absolute experts in the dark arts.

Mourinho’s inter in 2010… Mourinho, nothing more to say.

Just two teams seems to do OK regarding sportsmanship:

Di Matteo’s Chelsea (a team i hardly remember actually)

2013’s Bayern.

So my conclusion would be, as painful as it is to admit, that these rolling around, cheating, referee harassment etc… actually wins you trophies.

RIP the beautiful game.
Alex (f**k FFP) Paris


We have a nibble…
I am sorry to bite at this, as it is probably not worth it, but Alex T comparing Pogba to Henderson is pretty comical. I know Liverpool are a much better team than United at the moment, but let us remember that Pogba technically and physically is a MUCH better player than Henderson and has won actual trophies like the World Cup, 4 Serie A titles, 2 Coppa Italia’s, the Europa League & the League Cup. (He has won the less prestigious trophies with United in all honesty), as if I stand corrected, Henderson has only won the League Cup, in which they played Cardiff in the final. My point being, please do not compare an actual good player with the Steven Gerrard wannabe…


Always someone else’s fault
Brian, you’re really not telling us United fans anything we don’t already know mate. You’re not the messiah, you’re a very naughty boy.

It is an interesting point with Mourinho though, he’s never stayed more than three seasons at any club, unless you count getting fired in September in his first Chelsea stint as a fourth season: Porto 2002-04, Chelsea 2004-07, Inter 2008-10, Real 2010-13, Chelsea 2013-15, United 2016-present. What is it about the man? I think it’s part of his ‘I am perfect, it’s the world that is flawed’ mentality. Always someone else’s fault and I’m sure such a perfect specimen of mankind can only bear to be surrounded by fools for so long before moving on.

Jose me old mucka, if everywhere you go you’re surrounded by ****holes, eventually even you have to work out the common denominator.

Paul, Man Utd


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