Backing The Chilean Benny Hill To Score…

Date published: Monday 24th August 2015 1:21

Backing The Chilean Benny Hill To Score...

Southampton v Aston Villa
Southampton’s stock is dropping faster that that of Nigel Farage. The Saints have been serving up some absolute dogsh*te in recent weeks so good luck if you intend to pile into the home win here at odds-on. Villa may have one eye on the FA Cup final but that’s still a few weeks away and there are places for the Wembley showpiece up for grabs so I reckon they are worth a flutter at better than 4/1 to make it three wins off the belt.
Betting: Aston Villa to win at 17/4 (Boylesports)

Burnley v Stoke
Burnley have enjoyed a decent season and rarely disgraced themselves among the elite. Scoring goals has been their biggest problem but with the pressure now off I fancy this game could be more entertaining than the layers are fancying.
Betting: Over 4.5 goals at 9/1 (Coral)

QPR v Newcastle United
It says everything about Newcastle’s current predicament when a 1-1 draw at home to West Brom is greeted like some kind of cup final win. Three points here would surely put the Mags out of harm’s way in terms of relegation and they surely must fancy the job against QPR, a team of ‘bad eggs’ who surrendered their top-flight status rather pathetically last weekend. Can’t call the winner here for the life of me, but I do fancy a few goals.
Betting: Over 2.5 goals at 4/5 (Bet Victor)

Sunderland v Leicester City
Dick Advocaat has really worked his magic since his controversial appointment on Wearside. I had to laugh when asked whether he might carry on next season and he dead-panned that there is no chance as his wife would divorce him. Anyone who has spent any time in Sunderland will know exactly what he’s talking about. Leicester are in good form themselves but I fancy ‘The Little General’ to lead The Black Cats to more glory here and think 9/5 is a cracking price.
Betting: Sunderland to win at 9/5 (bet365)

Tottenham v Hull City
It’s all gone horribly wrong for Hull in the past few weeks. They are now heavy odds-on to be playing the likes of Rotherham and MK Dons next season and know they can’t leave White Hart Lane without at least a point this weekend. The good news is Spurs have been a shambles of late and punting the draw here makes plenty of sense.
Betting: Draw at 3/1 (Betfred)

West Ham v Everton
After the high point of beating Manchester United 3-0, Everton too have imploded in recent weeks and I can’t make a case for them at 13/8 here. Word round the campfire is this will probably be Big Sam’s last home game in charge of West Ham. There have been highs, there have been lows, all overseen by that big bear of a man aggressively chewing Wrigley’s Extra. Expect him to bow out in typically unspectacular fashion. Altogether now:
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time
I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Betting: 1-1 draw at 6/1 (Bet Victor)

Liverpool v Crystal Palace
The late game on Sky has the potential to be an absolute cringey toe-curler of a Stevie G love-in. The Liverpool talisman bids farewell to Anfield and given he was almost welling up in a press conference he gave on Thursday afternoon, tears look almost assured. He’s had a great career but for me should have won more and part of him probably regrets (on the sly) not joining Chelsea during his mid-noughties pomp. I can see his reasoning though as they reckon someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor b*stard.
Betting: Liverpool to win and both teams to score at 11/5 (Hills)

Swansea City v Man City
Two sides who are bang in form and this will be no gimme for Citeh, who are in the box seat now for a second-place finish this season. James Milner scored last week and I fancy the England man to notch again here. Have you heard my James Milner joke?
How many James Milner’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. They’re efficient and not very funny.
Betting: Milner to score anytime at 17/4 (Stan James)

Manchester United v Arsenal
Back when the fixtures came out last summer this looked all set to be a title-deciding blockbuster. It’s not quite worked out that way but both teams will be relieved to have nailed down Champions League football next season. Arsenal of course put the Red Devils out of the FA Cup this season with a win at Old Trafford and won’t be without their backers on Sunday. I actually fancy the draw but will be steaming in with a nice thick lump on Alexis Sanchez to score here. Sanchez swiped a team-mate’s suitcase before Monday night’s game with Swansea, causing untold mirth and merriment and cementing his burgeoning reputation as ‘The Chilean Benny Hill’.
Betting: Sanchez to score anytime at 21/10 (Ladbrokes)
Degsy Bilton

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