Manchester United are in disarray. There is nothing like a trip to Bayern Munich to sort yourself out! Good luck with that one…
Featuring a grand total of three Red Devils, here is our combined XI with Thomas Tuchel’s side.
GK: Andre Onana (Manchester United)
Manuel Neuer’s injury makes this a fairly straightforward decision. Onana has not enjoyed the best of starts to his United career but he is better than Sven Ulreich.
He also made our Arsenal – United combined XI, so it would be silly to omit him now.
RB: Diogo Dalot (Manchester United)
The bar is on the floor here, in truth. Aaron Wan-Bissaka would have been included if he was not out for two months with a hamstring injury.
Dalot gets the nod ahead of Noussair Mazraoui, who has been pretty poor since leaving Ajax for Bayern last year. Don’t believe me? Well, Erik ten Hag hasn’t tried to sign him yet. Make of that what you will.
CB: Dayot Upamecano (Bayern Munich)
Football fans who live in their Premier League bubble and only watch foreign clubs when they face an English side in Europe are all collectively shaking their heads.
Believe it or not, Upamecano is a very good centre-back and is keeping Matthijs de Ligt out of Thomas Tuchel’s starting XI.
CB: Kim Min-jae (Bayern Munich)
Manchester United were very eager to sign Min-jae from Napoli this summer but Bayern swooped in. Tale as old as time…
He would have made this shaky Red Devils backline look somewhat competent had he made the move to Old Trafford to hold Lisandro Martinez’s hand. Instead, Victor Lindelof is partnering the out-of-sorts Argentine as Raphael Varane continues living in the medical room.
LB: Alphonso Davies (Bayern Munich)
Luke Shaw being unavailable makes this very easy. He probably wouldn’t have got in if he was fit, to be fair.
DM: Joshua Kimmich (Bayern Munich)
Arguably the best defensive midfielder out there, Kimmich is a Rolls Royce in the middle of the park and is the sort of player this Manchester United team is crying out for.
DM: Leon Goretzka (Bayern Munich)
Goretzka is another player the Red Devils lack and was actually linked with a move to Old Trafford over the summer. He gets in ahead of Casemiro, who appears to have aged five years in four months.
AM: Bruno Fernandes (Manchester United)
The only nailed-on United player in this combined XI is their captain, who beats Bayern stalwart Thomas Muller to a spot behind the striker.
RW: Leroy Sane (Bayern Munich)
The former Manchester City winger will hope to inflict some damage on Sergio Reguilon, who was drafted in on deadline day with Shaw and Tyrell Malacia both crocked.
Sane’s game has changed since he suffered a serious knee injury. He still has pace but not as much as he once did, and you can see him operating more centrally these days. Top player.
ST: Harry Kane (Bayern Munich)
Erik ten Hag wanted Kane but knew it would be pointless trying to negotiate with Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy. United quickly ended their pursuit of the England captain and ended up signing Rasmus Hojlund, who does not get close to beating Kane for a spot in our combined XI.
LW: Kingsley Coman (Bayern Munich)
Debate your phone screen, Marcus Rashford is not better than Coman.