Cheeky Punt: Backing Payet and Spurs 3-1

Date published: Friday 8th April 2016 8:30

Betting, betting, betting – is that enough to boost that SEO score?


West Ham v Arsenal
What a game to kick off proceedings this weekend and this is a real test for Arsenal, who know any dropped points from here on in could sound the death knell to their title dream. The Gunners are hitting a bit of form just of late but West Ham are unbeaten in their last nine games and in Dimitri Payet have a genuinely world-class talent at the peak of his powers.
Betting: Payet to score anytime at 11/4 (Betway)


Aston Villa v Bournemouth
I was never the best at maths at school and could never really dig their questions. Billy has 28 rashers of bacon. He eats 25 rashers. What does Billy have? I don’t f*cking know. ¬†Heartburn? High cholesterol? What I do know is that Villa could technically be relegated this weekend and thus finally put arguably the worst team in Premier League history (and there’s been some sh*t ones) out of their misery. They were a disgrace against Chelsea last week so I make Bournemouth a bet here.
Betting: Bournemouth to win at 6/5 (Paddy Power)


Crystal Palace v Norwich City
The Canaries are on a bit of a roll having won their last two and I reckon they’re worth a tickle here to beat a Palace side who have not won in the league in 2016.
Betting: Norwich to win at 3/1 (bet365)


Southampton v Newcastle
The Rafa Benitez revolution seems to be something of a slow burner with just one point garnered since the big, jowly Iberian took charge. Benitez clearly styles his goatee on WWF legend The Big Boss Man and the Mags are as big as 11/2 to power slam Southampton to defeat on the south coast. I’m not sure that will happen but I do fancy the Toon to grab a surprise point.
Betting: Draw at 3/1 (bet365/Stan James)


Swansea v Chelsea
Chelsea have had a really poor season and have entrusted Antonio Conte to turn things around next term. But you can’t really grumble with the job Guus Hiddink has done since his return and the Dutchman can oversee another win for the Blues against a Swansea side who are surely now safe as houses.
Betting: Chelsea(-1) to win at 31/10 (Bet Victor)


Watford v Everton
Watford have lost their way a bit since that stunning FA Cup win at the Emirates so I might have a punt on Ross Barkley doing a job on them here. He’s hit 12 goals for the Toffees this season, has nice hair, and is my pick to light up Euro 2016 for England this summer.
Betting: Barkley to score first at 10/1 (Coral)


Manchester City v West Brom
I genuinely believe that if Kevin De Bruyne didn’t get injured, City would be top of the league right about now. The Belgian is pure class and showed his worth in Paris the other night. He’s 7/4 to score here and my favourite ginge since Chuckie Finster is worth smashing at said odds. Say what you want about Finster by the way, but that lad stuck by Tommy Pickles through thick and f*cking thin.
Betting: De Bruyne to score anytime at 7/4 (Betfred)


Sunderland v Leicester
Here we go again. The camel coats just don’t learn do they? Leicester have been the best team by a mile this season in the Premier League and yet you can get 5/4 about them winning at Sunderland. That would be third-from-bottom Sunderland who have not won in five matches. I’ve been all over Leicester in recent weeks both in terms of match betting and winning the league outright and stand to win a nice few quid should they see this thing through. A win here might just make the doubters believe. And they have the minerals to pull it off on Wearside don’t you worry about that.
Betting: Leicester to win and both teams to score at 15/4 (bet365)


Liverpool v Stoke
The Reds put a ridiculous shift in the other night in Dortmund and are favourites now to progress. Given the second leg is next Thursday though I’m convinced Mr Klopp will rest some of his star names so both teams to score here is sat up and begging to be tickled.
Betting: Both teams to score at 21/20 (Hills)


Tottenham v Manchester United
Huge game this. Absolutely massive. In fact if the Sky pundits aren’t waxing lyrical about this pre-match with erections poking through their designer suit trousers then there’s a rabbit off. I wasn’t impressed by the Red Devils against Everton last Sunday and think Spurs will put them to the sword here. The north Londoners just have a little too much class in most areas and must win this to keep on the trail of those pesky Foxes.
Betting: Tottenham to win 3-1 at 18/1 (bet365)


Degsy Bilton

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