Bizarre focus on TICKETS ban as Chelsea hit by sanctions
Not stopped from selling TICKETS? Anything but the TICKETS? Won’t somebody think of the TICKETS?
Rack and ruin
‘ROMAN RUINED’ is slightly spoiled as a headline and a concept when the Sun story goes on to tell us that ‘he has a net worth of £9.4billion’.
Presumably, the rather more accurate ‘ROMAN SLIGHTLY CURTAILED’ was dismissed as an option.
Famous FIVE
After the Roman Abramovich sanctions news, Mediawatch is enjoying this headline on The Sun website:
‘Chelsea will lose FIVE players in summer including Rudiger and Azpilicueta after ban on new contracts’
And the FIVE includes Charly Musonda Jnr, who last played for Chelsea in January 2018.
They really are f***ed.
TICKET to ride
Obviously, there are live blogs aplenty after this latest news and The Sun‘s begins thus:
‘ROMAN ABRAMOVICH has been BANNED from selling Chelsea by the British government and could even be stopped selling TICKETS to matches.’
Not stopped from selling TICKETS? Anything but the TICKETS? Won’t somebody think of the TICKETS?
Somehow, we suspect that might be the very least of Abramovich’s problems.
Afterthought
There is a bizarre focus on this inability to sell tickets and merchandise, as if that really is the major problem here for Chelsea and Abramovich. A reminder is needed that actually, the sanctions mean that they can pretty much just about function as a football club.
So it is a tad odd when MailOnline report on the story thus:
‘Chelsea fans have been left stunned by the news that owner Roman Abramovich has been sanctioned, leaving the Blues in limbo with club activities now severely limited.
‘On Thursday the club were banned from selling match tickets and were even forced to close their club shop as Russian owner Abramovich was added to the UK’s sanctions list following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
‘In addition Abramovich will not be allowed to sell the west London side and measures have been put in place to ensure he cannot profit from its activities.’
That’s a hell of an ‘in addition’. It’s like chastising Fred West for not doing the washing-up and then saying that ‘in addition, he killed some people’.
A Lille problem
But the big news in The Sun is that ‘Chelsea could be slapped with points deduction if they go into administration after Roman Abramovich is sanctioned’.
They detail that ‘were they hit with that punishment today, they would drop to fifth in the Premier League table with Arsenal and Manchester United moving up’. Which would be fascinating if the punishment were to hit today, which it absolutely will not.
They also claim that ‘the drama off the pitch could end up having an affect on it with the club only allowed to spend £20,000 on travel for away matches. That throws their trip to Lille in the Champions League into major doubt.’
Hmmm. Think they could probably just drive there in about four hours. Mind you, diesel is damned expensive.
Ron a roll
Fresh from exclusively combining the unhappiness of Ronaldo and Marcus Rashford for a back-page exclusive in The Sun on Tuesday, Neil Custis is back with another back-page exclusive in which he tells us that ‘CRISTIANO RONALDO piled the pressure on Ralf Rangnick to pick him for Manchester United’s clash with Spurs’.
So how did he pile on the pressure and, more importantly, how did Custis exclusively have this very important but secret information?
Ladies and gentlemen, he ‘posted a snap of himself with a pointed message towards Rangnick’. On Instagram. Where he has 411million followers.
We also continue to be amused at the notion that agent Jorge ‘Mendes tried to calm Ronaldo down but is fighting a losing battle with the forward intent on leaving this summer’.
Once again for the people at the back: That’s not how contracts work. If it was, Harry Kane would now be a Manchester City player.
Ron a trip
Over on the Mirror website, the Ronaldo train keeps on a-rolling with this story:
‘Cristiano Ronaldo’s Portugal trip ‘not sanctioned’ by Man Utd as backlash escalates’
Woah. Not sanctioned? Then he must be in trouble…
‘The Telegraph have revealed that the forward did not let United know that he would be heading to Portugal last weekend and left manager Ralf Rangnick completely in the dark about the situation.’
So now tell us about the escalating backlash…
‘The club are ‘relaxed’ about the situation though given that five-time Ballon d’Or winner was unavailable for the match and had no obligation to be present at the stadium to watch the match.’
Oh. So no ‘backlash’ at all? And he actually did not need his trip back to Portugal to be ‘sanctioned’? All fans remain steadfastly uncovered in shit.
Message in a bottle job
Over at the Liverpool Echo, they would have you believe that ‘Thierry Henry sends Kylian Mbappe Liverpool transfer message after Real Madrid defeat’, which is a handy way of getting Mbappe and ‘Liverpool transfer’ in the same headline but in essence means f*** all.
Since when did Thierry Henry saying that Kylian Mbappe might want to join Real Madrid because he’s a fan constitute a ‘Liverpool transfer message’? Since when did Thierry Henry saying anything at all constitute a ‘Liverpool transfer message’? At some point in these click-tastic times, the word ‘message’ came to mean ‘saying anything at all out either out loud or on social media’.
On the Echo’s Liverpool page alone, we learn that ‘Aaron Ramsdale names ‘aggressive’ Liverpool star as Jurgen Klopp sent ‘cheeky’ transfer message’, are told ‘Every word Jurgen Klopp said on Thiago and Roberto Firmino injuries, Liverpool team news and five subs message’ while ‘Rivaldo sends Liverpool transfer message to Roberto Firmino amid Barcelona rumours’ and ‘Gary Neville sends ‘critical’ message over new European Super League plan’.
That’s a f*** of a lot of ‘messages’. Presumably messages mean more in Liverpool.