Aston Villa v Chelsea
So Remi Garde has bid Aston Villa adieu. As decisions go the Villa board’s determination to go for the Frenchman in the first place is right up there with Decca Records’ decision in 1962 not to sign a young band called The Beatles on the grounds that guitar groups were falling out of favour. Whoever gets the Villa gig won’t be inheriting John, Paul, George and Ringo though. Instead they’ll be taking over one of the worst sides in Premier League history. A complete f*cking shambles of a football team.
Betting: Chelsea (-1) to win at 33/20 (Coral)
Arsenal v Watford
Watford caused a real stir just a few short weeks ago by dumping Arsenal out of the FA Cup – and you can get 9/1 about the Hornets doing a job on the Wenger boys again here. I personally am all over the even money about both teams scoring at the Emirates.
Betting: Both teams to score at evens (bet365/Hills/Paddy Power)
Bournemouth v Man City
If Man City don’t shape up Pep Guardiola may have to start preparing a side for Thursday night football next season. After spending over £140million in the summer there was a real expectation the club would land a third Premier League title in five seasons. But it’s all gone a bit t*ts up of late and those looking to lump on them here should be mindful they’ve scored just six goals in their last 10 Premier League away games.
Betting: Bournemouth (Draw No Bet) to win at 17/10 (Bet Victor)
Norwich v Newcastle
What a game. An absolute, balls out relegation six-pointer and if the Mags lose at Carrow Road I don’t see them staying up. It’s that simple. Norwich hit a bit of form prior to the international break and I can see them winning this given the Toon have lost seven straight away games, and scoring just two goals during that inglorious run.
Betting: Norwich to win at 5/4 (General)
Stoke City v Swansea
The pressure is off Swansea now following that crucial win at home to Villa the other week so I fancy a few goals here and I might stick a few quid on the boy Bojan scoring first. He may look worryingly like a girl I used to go out with back in the late 1990s but he’s silky smooth and could find Swansea’s less than infallible defensive line to his liking.
Betting: Bojan to score first at 13/2 (bet365)
Sunderland v West Brom
It’s three draws in a row now for Sunderland and with games running out this is a must win job if ever I’ve seen one. The Baggies are not the best on the road so I can see how the layers have the Black Cats chalked up at 11/10. I have a mate from Sunderland and have taken particular delight in his attempts to say the words ‘Wahbi Khazri’ in recent weeks. Khazri is no joke though and the Tunisian schemer gets my vote here to find the old onion bag.
Betting: Khazri to score anytime at 14/5 (Stan James)
West Ham v Crystal Palace
Can someone advise me why West Ham are even money here please as it is making me very aroused? They are unbeaten in eight matches and face the only side in the top four tiers who have yet to register a league win in 2016. Even money? F*ck. A. Duck.
Betting: West Ham to win at evens (bet365/Stan James)
Liverpool v Tottenham
Huge game here and Spurs know a win would put huge pressure on Leicester at the top of the table, cutting their lead to just two points. That’s the good news for Tottenham fans. The bad news is they’ve not beaten Liverpool in six Premier League meetings (losing five and drawing one). It should be an open, attacking game as both sides like to have a go so anyone backing a few goals shouldn’t end up out of pocket.
Betting: Over 3.5 goals at 11/4 (Hills)
Leicester v Southampton
The Foxes are five points clear and I just don’t see how they can be as big as 5/4 to win this. Any other side with a five point lead at the top of the league in April would be heavily odds on at home in this fixture. Granted they are not playing with the uncommon elan they were earlier in the campaign but they are grinding out the wins which at this stage of the season is all that matters.
Betting: Leicester to win at 5/4 (bet365/Bet Victor)
Manchester United v Everton
Good game to round off the weekend fixtures and United’s derby win won’t count for much unless they can follow it up with three points here. I’ve given up on Everton in the league as they continue to throw in worldy performances one week and sheep’s jizz ones the next.
Betting: Manchester United to win and both teams to score at 17/5 (Coral)